More Together
by HR always live on
Summary: A HR story from the end of 9-1. Harry and Ruth's conversation on the rooftop, after turning down his proposal. Going on from there. Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

**A tiny chapter but this was harder to write than I thought. Taken from the end of 9-1, and HR as usual.**

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"I think we've given up the chance at that sort of life Harry," Ruth said in the coldness of the evening as he felt his heart shatter. "The things we've seen together. The things we've done." Ruth could feel the tears starting to fill her eyes but she was determined not to let them fall. "And here we can face all that. There, we'd have to hide it away." She took a deep breath before continuing. "We couldn't be more together than we are right now."

There was silence between them as their eyes connected and Harry instinctively knew that she had nothing left to say. So he decided to speak. "That's not true," he said quietly. "We could be more together. We could be so much more."

"Harry…"

"Let me finish," he said quietly. "You had your say, now its my turn." Ruth nodded, a hint of a smile on her lips. "I don't want this Ruth. I want more. If the only thing I have to look forward to with you is you working for me everyday… I couldn't bear it. I just… I want more with you. Yes, my proposal was very ill timed and I do regret that. But the sentiment and feeling behind it was very genuine. I don't blame you for saying no. But "we could never be more together?" That is blatantly untrue. I want to wake up next to you. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you and keeping you safe. I want to make love to you. I want you to open up to me and let me love you. Let me in. That's… its not what we have now. And you're lying to yourself if you think we couldn't have more than this. Working on the grid to stop the worst of humankind everyday. That's what we have, and I believe if you're honest with yourself, you know we could have more."

She was totally silent as she thought about his words. Harry sensed she wasn't going to say anything for a while so he took a leap of faith. He leaned in and, very briefly, brushed his lips against hers in a chaste and controlled kiss. She didn't respond at all, but he could tell that whatever she had expected, a kiss wasn't part of it. "Think about it," Harry said in a low voice. "Please."

Without waiting for a reply he turned from her and left the rooftop. He knew how much she needed to think things through, and he also knew that his presence wasn't needed while she was sorting out her thoughts. So he left Ruth alone, looking over the London skyline, her thoughts all over the place. Harry dearly hoped she'd come around to his way of thinking, given a little bit of time. But for now, all he could do was wait.

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**Worth continuing?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, thank you for all the encouraging reviews. I've tried to get this (longer) chapter up as soon as possible for you. Hope Ruth's reasoning is in character...**

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Ruth stood on the rooftop, deep in thought. She had been so sure that what she had told Harry had been right that when he had countered it she had been floored. For so long they had been dancing around their feelings, that it seemed almost natural to continue as they had always been. Simply working. But now he had confronted her, she realised how foolish and simplistic that was. The deep and long lasting feelings between the pair of them were not going anywhere, that she knew. But she also knew that marriage between them was a very bad idea. At least at the moment when they were still tiptoeing around each other. So she had talked herself out of it, and with it went any thought of constructing a relationship with Harry. Now she could see that it was wrong to totally discard the idea of a relationship with him. After all, she'd spent the majority of the last decade in love with him from afar. And now, when it was moving on, (admittedly at lightning bolt speed) she'd run. She had tried to talk herself into a reason to go along with her rejection of his proposal. But with Harry's speech, it hadn't held fast.

Ruth sighed and put her head in her hands. She didn't know what to do and that was the problem. She pressed her lips together, remembering the feeling of his very brief kiss. Only once had she allowed herself to let go of her emotions when she kissed him, and that was a kiss of desperate sadness and parting. This one had been very restrained and she'd barely had time to respond before it was over. What surprised her was the amount of longing she had to feel that again. She had an ache inside her to feel his full lips against hers again. To enjoy a longer kiss, one not covered in the regret of a parting between them. She hadn't expected to feel this way, and that was what had her analysing her feelings all over again.

It surprised her that Harry had actually said that he wanted to make love to her. She knew that they had an emotional connection and had deep feelings for each other but this surprised her. She was exactly the opposite to a lot of women that Harry had been with in the past, including his first wife. His past lovers had all been beautiful, confident, self assured and sophisticated. Things which she didn't feel applied to her. Not that she had never fantasised about being in bed with Harry because she had. But she had never really considered that it might turn into reality.

The longer she stayed in the biting cold on that rooftop, the more foolish she'd realised she'd been. Why did it have to be one or the other? She'd said no, perfectly reasonably in her opinion, but that didn't mean no to a relationship altogether did it? No you stupid woman, she said to herself. She glanced at her watch and saw it had just passed eleven. Hopefully Harry wouldn't be asleep yet, because she wanted to talk to him. Maybe in the drive over she'd figure out what to say to him.

* * *

She parked at one end of the street where she could see Harry's house properly without being observed. The only location she could do that in, so she knew it was a spook house, even if she hadn't known who lived there. The kitchen light was on, but otherwise the house was in darkness. She locked her car and approached his house warily, more from her thoughts and what might happen once she was in his house than any other reason.

She walked up the steps to his house and rang the doorbell, making a dog bark inside. Scarlet, she guessed with half a smile. Her heart was beating hard as she heard footsteps approach and then the door swung inwards and Harry appeared there, his shirt rumpled with the top buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up making him look very attractive. Even more than usual. He also had a glass of whisky in his hand and she wondered how much he'd drunk and if it was her who had driven him to it.

"Ruth," he said in the way only he could, which made her shiver slightly inside. "Come in." He moved aside and let her into his house which meant they both ended up standing awkwardly in the hall. "Can I get you a drink?" Harry said in a dead voice that made it clear he didn't exactly want her here.

"No thank you," she said as she followed him through to the kitchen. "I've been thinking about what you said," Ruth added, making him freeze with his back to her.

"If you're just going to repeat what you said earlier you can leave," Harry said. "I haven't go it in me to hear it all over again."

"Will you look at me please?" Ruth said to his back. He took a breath and turned and she gasped at the look in his eyes. Intense sadness as he studied her. "Look, I've been a bit foolish," she said. "You had a point. I don't like where we are either. Not really. I want more too."

His eyes lit up with hope and she smiled slightly at him before continued. "But, I want to go slow. I don't do well with things out of the norm, and I still think that saying no to you was the right decision. It would be nice to try for more."

"Do you mean that?" he asked in a low voice masking his emotions well.

"Yes," Ruth said honestly. "I do. I'm just scared."

"Scared of what?" he asked softly, sitting down as she followed suit.

"That you'll get bored of me."

"Why would you even think that?" he asked.

Ruth blushed but was determined to continue in spite of her embarrassment. "Because of your history with women. I'm not like the women you've had affairs with in the past."

"No you're not," he agreed. "Because you are not, and were never going to be a quick and sordid affair. You mean so much more. I'm not that man any more. And I'm sorry that my past is making you doubt me. Although I do find it interesting that you've had a look into my file." Ruth blushed again but Harry smiled at her. "Ruth, I've never wanted another woman since the day I met you. I never will."

Ruth was silent but she made the first move and reached for his hand resting on the table. He smiled and turned his hand over, letting his fingers dance with hers sensually. It felt very good and she could only imagine what his touch would feel like over other parts of her body. No stop it Ruth, she told herself. That line of thought wasn't going to help.

"We can go slowly," Harry said with a smile. "As slowly as you need."

"Good." Ruth suddenly felt bone weary tired and she stifled a yawn.

"You should go home," Harry said, squeezing her hand. "I'll call you a cab."

"I came in the car," Ruth said.

"You're not driving when you're that tired," Harry said firmly. "I'm overbearing and overprotective but I don't care. Let me call you a cab."

"Okay," Ruth said sensing not to argue. He squeezed her hand and then let go and she felt the absence of his touch acutely. But she tried not to focus on that as he called her a taxi.


	3. Chapter 3

**A short chapter, but I'm so tired I feel like I could sleep for a month and I wanted to post something today for my wonderful reviewers. Enjoy.**

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The next day Ruth woke up feeling content. The only thing she could attribute it to was her conversation with Harry the night before. She didn't know what would happen between them now, but it had to be better than what they'd had before. She didn't think she could bear the tension between them on the grid, but hopefully things would look up now. She got up and dressed, paying more attention to her appearance than she should have but it couldn't be helped. As she was eating her toast, her mobile rang. She looked at the caller ID and felt her heart catch at Harry's name. Which is ridiculous, she thought to herself. I'm not a nervous sixteen year old worried about her first boyfriend. She answered it with a quiet hello.

"Good morning," Harry replied, much more chipper than he should be first thing in the morning. "Sleep well?" The words were innocent, the tone wasn't and she felt herself blushing. The idea of Harry, sleep and bed in the same sentence was a little overwhelming.

"Yes thank you," she said. "I'll be seeing you in less than an hour. Is there… a reason you called?"

Harry could have said something sarcastic to that but he chose not to. Even without her mentioning it, he knew she was slightly out of her comfort zone. "Before we get absorbed in work on the grid, I wanted to ask you if you'd like to have a drink with me tonight?"

"Yes I would," she said sincerely, a smile blooming on her face. "You know, providing no terrorists decide to blow up the country today."

"Well yes, with that proviso," Harry said easily. Ruth smiled, even though he couldn't see her.

"I'll see you soon," Ruth said. "I should really leave for work soon and my boss is a slave driver."

"I'll have words with him," Harry said in a mock stern voice. Ruth laughed and felt stupidly childish because she didn't want to put the phone down. "See you on the grid," Harry said, effectively ending their conversation.

"Bye Harry," she said, reluctantly putting the phone down and returning to her now cold toast. At least she'd have something positive to focus on throughout the day. No matter how bad things might be.

* * *

The morning at Thames House went by quite smoothly. Ruth was doing some research into an oil millionaire, Robert Westhouse. There seemed to be threats against his life, but she couldn't work out if it was genuine or just his insane paranoia. But researching him most certainly did make the morning go by quickly. Lunchtime came and she found a new email from Harry in her inbox. She glanced into his office impassively and found him watching her. Ruth felt her face flush for no reason as she opened up the message.

_I hope its not too forward of me, but you look beautiful. Harry._

She looked back at him and saw that he looked slightly nervous. There was no noticeable tell, but she knew him well enough to see it. She hit the reply button.

_Thank you. I'm going out for a brief lunch if its okay with the boss. Want to join me? Ruth._

She watched him as he received her message, read it and then turned to her in surprise. He inclined his head slightly and she smiled, feeling intense relief. She picked up her jacket and slipped it on but Harry was still in his office. She couldn't quite read the look on his face, so she walked over and knocked once and opened the door.

"Are you coming?"

"I thought you might be… uncomfortable if we left together. After… last time." Ruth suddenly understood. She'd bolted years before because everyone had found out about the start of their relationship. But in the intervening years she had grown up and realised that some things were more important.

"Harry I'm not embarrassed or ashamed," she said honestly. "They'll talk anyway, no matter what we do. Lets go and eat. As there aren't any terrorists intent on blowing us up at the moment." Harry smiled at her and got up from behind his desk. Walking over to her, he placed his hand on the small of her back and she felt her skin almost burn from the contact. Her cheeks were certainly flaming. But she took a deep breath and smiled at him as they left the grid. Ruth purposefully ignored everyone else as they went through the pods together. But she did feel like she could breathe easier once she'd left the slightly oppressive confines of Thames House.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews everyone. I'm vaguely following the series nine storyline but with HR together. (as they should be!)**

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Once out on the street a slight awkwardness sprung up between them. "Where do you want to go?" Ruth asked quietly.

"I don't mind. Where do you normally have lunch?"

"There's a nice restaurant around the corner," Ruth said. "They do great salads to take away, which is what I bring back to the grid when I have to forfeit my lunch hour." She smiled slightly sadly at that.

"Lets go there then," Harry replied softly. Ruth nodded and led the way. It only took a couple of minutes before they were seated at a table in the back of the restaurant where it was more private. They quickly ordered and then silence fell over them.

"What's your favourite book?" Harry asked out of the blue.

"I'm sorry?" Ruth asked confused.

"I think we should make an effort to not talk about work when we're away from the grid together," Harry said. "So I'm asking what your favourite book is."

Ruth smiled at him, and thought to herself that there was much more to this man than appeared on the surface. She knew that anyway, but here it was reiterated again. "Let me think." He was silent as she thought about it. He could tell she was running through several works of literature in her mind as he watched her. Her eyes looked slightly distant and he knew she was considering this seriously.

"Jane Eyre."

"Really?"

"Well its so hard to pick just one," Ruth said. "I was thinking maybe the Tenant of Wildfell Hall, but went with Jane Eyre."

"So you like the Bronte's?"

"Yes," Ruth said. "Definitely my favourites. Are you filing this away for future reference?"

"Of course," he said, his eyes twinkling at her. "I'm a spook after all. I need to keep every little bit of information at my fingertips. It might come in useful in the future."

"Fair enough," she said with a smile. "Yours?"

"A Christmas Carol."

"Oh how boring," Ruth said making him smile. "Dickens, I'm sure you could come up with something more unusual and less predictable than that."

"Have I failed some sort of test?" Harry asked.

"Well its bumped you down a notch or two in my estimation," she said, but her eyes were smiling at him. After that, the ice was broken and they enjoyed a very nice lunch together, simply with each others company.

* * *

Later Ruth rested her head on her hand while staring at her computer screen absently. It had been an incredibly long day and she'd had to forgo drinks with Harry in order to keep working on Robert Westhouse. They had managed to get through their lunch completely before being called back to the grid so she was thankful for small mercies. But her long work had been rewarded. Ruth had managed to get Beth into the oil meeting Westhouse was having in London in two days time. The majority of the day had been spent constructing Beth's cover and she was exhausted.

Harry saw her across the grid and smiled. Her eyes were drifting closed and she didn't seem to realise that everyone else had gone home. Harry left his office and quietly walked over to her desk. She was so tired she didn't even hear him approach and he covered her left hand on the desk with his own. Ruth came to with a small jerk and then smiled at him.

"Go home," he said quietly. "I'll have my driver take you home."

"I'd normally argue with that, but I'm too tired," Ruth said. "Thank you. Lets share the car." Harry nodded as she stood up and put her coat on. His fingertips accidentally brushed over her wrist and she shivered from the unexpected contact, immediately drawing her hand back.

"Sorry," Harry replied, but she didn't miss the brief look of hurt on his face either.

"No, I didn't mean to…"

"You don't have to explain," he said gently. She sighed and then decided something on the spur of the moment. She reached for him and caressed his cheek as a brief look of confusion went over his face. Then that was quickly replaced by understanding. "No, you don't have…" he never finished his sentence.

She leaned in and pressed her lips to his softly. He couldn't help himself, he reacted to her touch. He didn't want to take advantage of her in any way but her lips felt so good against his. So he deepened the kiss in spite of his better judgement.

Ruth had intended for it to be such a brief kiss, but as it turned out she had no self restraint. Feeling his lips on hers, so warm and inviting, wet and quietly demanding made her give in to his touch, and it felt so good. It made her instantly think of him kissing her elsewhere which didn't calm her heart rate down at all. His tongue flicked against her lips briefly and she opened her mouth to him as his hands went to her waist, holding her gently against his body. His tongue delved into her mouth expertly and she moaned at the feeling and the taste of him. Her small noises of satisfaction were swallowed by his lips as his right hand moved from her waist and brushed her hair away from her face, holding her like she was precious. God, who knew a kiss could be so erotic?

Ruth felt dizzy from their embrace and knew she couldn't keep this going for long so she reluctantly drew back, eyes still closed as her heavy breathing whispered over Harry's parted lips. Slowly, when she felt slightly recovered she opened her eyes and felt Harry's hand fall from her face and the warmth left her very suddenly.

"I'll take you home," Harry said in a voice which shook slightly. And she'd made him like that, she thought with a smile. Ruth nodded with her eyes sparkling at him.

"Will I get another goodnight kiss?" she asked before she could stop herself. Then she blushed as he smiled at her.

"Lets get in the car," he said, choosing not to comment on that last statement. She smiled again and followed him out of the pods, her lips still full from their assault just moments before. And it was all Harry could do to resist from kissing her again.


	5. Chapter 5

Two days later Harry was surprised when he got back on the grid and found Ruth's desk empty. But he also noted that the blinds on his office were drawn, so he headed that way and opened the door and he found Ruth pacing back and forth. She glared at him when he came in and he closed the door. "Oh, that's not a good face," he said quietly.

"Bloody hell Harry!" she said, her eyes blazing. "You were shot at!"

"I'm fine," he said. "The Nigerians were after Westhouse. They didn't know what he looked like so the killer took a shot at me."

"Oh! That would have been a great comfort to me if you'd died. I'm sure!" Ruth said shrilly. She was breathing heavily and for the first time Harry saw with crystal clear clarity that she had deep feelings for him, perhaps even matching how he felt for her. Her arms were folded across her chest and she looked very angry with him.

"I'm fine," he said quietly and surely. He took a step or two towards her and he could see that she was very nearly crying. He pulled her into his arms and held her body against his but she felt so stiff.

"Its been two hours since you could have been killed," she said into his shirt. "You didn't even call."

"I meant to," he said stroking her hair. "I was dragged into a long meeting with Towers as soon as I left. Time ran away from me. I'm sorry." He waited a moment and then felt her melt into his arms and she started crying. He stroked her back and kissed her hair soothingly until she had no more tears to cry. She pulled away when she came back to her senses and brushed her tears off of her cheeks angrily.

"Sorry," she said briefly. "I don't normally cry like that."

"Ruth, please don't apologise for being emotional. I should have called you. I'm the one who's sorry."

"Just… if you could avoid getting shot at again…" she started. "I'd appreciate it."

"I'll do my best," Harry said. He stroked her cheek softly and she smiled at him. Then the phone rang. Harry sighed and dropped his hand from her cheek and she smiled.

"Back to work?" she suggested.

"It would seem so," Harry said wearily. "I'll see you later." Ruth left his office, her heart still beating erratically, but she felt much happier, now that she'd seen Harry was alive and well for herself.

* * *

The next couple of weeks passed relatively peacefully. Harry had taken Ruth out for a few drinks after work and they had had wonderful conversations about everything that did not involve Thames House. Their closeness was becoming more apparent but things had never progressed beyond a few heated kisses. He was taking her at her word that she wanted things to go slowly, and Ruth felt the beginnings of frustration settling in her whenever he stopped kissing her. Because she wanted more. But as she had been the one to suggest slowness between them she didn't know when, or even if, Harry would take the initiative on his own.

Once the president of the United States had been safely flown out of Britain, Harry asked Ruth for another drink. She happily accepted, knowing that he'd be more relaxed now that the country was now theirs again. The evening progressed very similarly to how others had, them leaving the pub once it started to get rowdy. In the taxi home, Ruth felt her heart beating fast and knew she was going to take a step towards Harry tonight. The car drew up outside her house and she turned to him. She reached across the seat and held his hand gently.

"Do you want to come in?" she asked softly.

Harry hid his surprise well, but she still saw it in the dim streetlights filtering through the window. "I don't have to," he said.

"I know that," she said, a small smile on her lips. "Come in."

He squeezed her hand and then nodded once, paying the cab driver before they both got out of the car. Once it had vanished around the street the silence between them was almost overwhelming. "You don't have to do this," he said, sensing her discomfort.

"I know," she replied. "Its just inviting you in for coffee."

"I hate coffee," Harry said deadpan.

"I have tea too," Ruth said with a smile as she got out her keys and unlocked the door. She immediately disabled the alarm and then turned to Harry as he shut the door behind them. Ruth suddenly felt a little light headed in such close proximity to Harry. She reached up and kissed him briefly. He didn't need more encouragement and responded to her, his hands on her waist as their tongues tangled together in an intense embrace. After long and enjoyable minutes Harry pulled back, but kept his body close to hers.

"Can I?" Harry asked, almost warily. Ruth looked at him blankly.

"Can you what?"

"Put my hands here," he said, his fingers on her waist inching lower making his intentions clear.

"Of course you can," she said, a smile on her lips, thrilled that he was moving forward. He smiled back before kissing her again, his hands slipping to her bum and squeezing lightly. She sighed into his mouth, thoroughly enjoying this turn of events. She pressed herself against him, her hands pulling him as close as possible.

About five minutes later she realised his hands hadn't moved from her behind, other than squeezing and stroking lightly, sending thrills through her. "You know, I never had you down as a bum man," Ruth said before she could stop herself. Harry lifted an eyebrow at her.

"Oh really?" he questioned. "What did you have me down as then?"

She knew damn well he was teasing her but she decided to play along for the time being. "I thought you'd be a boob man."

The look of surprise on his face was priceless and she couldn't help but laugh. After a moment he joined in and then leaned in for another kiss. "God I love you." She froze, drew back slightly and starting to stare at him. "I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head. "I didn't mean to say that, it just… came out. Not that its not true, because it is. But I hadn't planned to tell you like that. Please don't panic. I'm not expecting you to say anything. Just…" He was stopped in his ramble by her fingers covering his lips as she watched him carefully. Almost critically.

"Please stop acting like I'm going to run," Ruth said quietly. "I'm not." She moved her fingers from his lips and ran her hand over his face softly, her index finger tracing his eyebrow gently. He knew not to interrupt her during this but found it difficult as her eyes ran over his face, taking in everything about him. "Harry, I love you too. Of course I do. I wouldn't be even attempting to date my boss if I didn't have such a depth of feeling for you."

He smiled at her, a genuine smile that reached his eyes before he planted a series of quick passionate heady kisses on her lips.

"Harry?"

"What?" he asked in between kisses.

"Take me to bed."

"No," he said without missing a beat before returning to kiss her neck passionately. "Not yet. I don't want to push you."

"You're not," she replied honestly, feeling herself shiver as his tongue drew patterns on her neck deliciously.

"Not yet," he repeated. "Trust me. We'll know when its right."

She would have argued her case but two things held her back. She didn't want to try and convince him if he didn't want to sleep with her, and her second reason somewhat contradicted the first. His lips on her neck and hands on her body felt so good that she just let go and enjoyed the moment for what it was, without looking too much into the future.

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**Really not sure about this chapter but I hope others liked it. Thanks for the reviews so far.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you all for the reviews! Glad the bum/boob thing went over well! This chapter is based on 9-7 so I hope you like the twist on this episode with HR together.**

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Ruth was happily working at her desk when her phone rang. "Yes?"

"I need to talk to you," Harry said seriously, his voice heavy. She looked to his office in confusion and saw that he didn't look his usual self.

"That sounds ominous," Ruth said anxiously.

"Its just… I need to talk to you," he repeated. Ruth nodded and put the phone down, getting her file to a point she could save and lock her computer. Then, worry filling her she walked into Harry's office and closed the door.

"What is it?" she asked, biting her lip anxiously.

"I have to bring this up and I hate it," he said, clutching an envelope tightly to his chest. "This came in from Cyprus. Its about the house you owned. With George. The family want to sell it and they need your permission." He handed over the envelope and Ruth held it, feeling her heart sink. "There's a letter in there too."

Ruth's eyes flicked back to Harry in surprise. "Have you read it?"

"No Ruth, I haven't," he said in a hard tone as her eyes dropped to the envelope,. "I read the covering letter, explaining what was in there but nothing else. I wouldn't read your personal letters." He paused for a second. "No matter how it might make me feel."

"I'll deal with it," she said turning from him, her face closed off.

"Ruth…" he said, his eyes sad.

"I'll deal with it," she repeated. "Just… drop it. Please."

Harry nodded but felt his heart hit the basement. She turned and left the office and Harry watched after her. But the thing that hit him hardest was the look on her face. Like she was locking herself away from him. The very last thing he wanted.

* * *

A couple of hours later Ruth felt calm once again. It had hit her hard, this reminder of her past coming out of the blue. But now that she had sorted out the house, she knew that that chapter of her life was truly over. She also knew she owed Harry an explanation for her earlier behaviour. She could feel his eyes on her, even across the grid, through the busyness of the day. Turning to him, she caught his eyes and looked upwards as she put her hand on her coat. He got the point and nodded at her, as Ruth headed to the roof.

She stood there for five minutes, looking over the city before the door opened and Harry joined her, standing next to her but not too close. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I don't like the way I reacted. I was just shocked."

"Its understandable," he said. She didn't speak again so he continued. "Ruth, we need to talk about George."

She sighed heavily. "I know," she replied. "I find it difficult to think about so I haven't exactly wanted to talk about it. But I know we need to talk." She took a deep breath and didn't look at him, instead watching the city skyline. "Firstly I need to say that you've changed my way of thinking. I've never believed in soul mates. I find it stupid that anyone can think that two people are meant to be together. There are just under seven billion people in the world and you're supposed to find the only one destined to end up with you? The chances on that are just so small as to be ridiculous." She smiled slightly sadly. "But I love you so much more, and more passionately than I have felt with any man before, and its really making me rethink."

Harry smiled at her and it reached his eyes. "That's nice to hear but what…"

"Because I want you to stay calm when I tell you I did love George. In a way, but I did. And it was nothing like how I feel for you Harry. I need you to believe that."

"You're not a liar," he said softly. "If you say that, I'll believe you."

"Thank you," she said sincerely. "I'm guessing its not easy to hear."

"That you love another man? No, its not," Harry said.

"Loved," Ruth corrected, reaching across and putting her hand on his. "Past tense Harry. That's important." He nodded in agreement. She was right, that was a very important fact. "And it was a very poor imitation than what I feel for you. It was more… convenient I suppose, rather than anything else. The fact that I moved in with him made me safe. I didn't have to constantly worry that someone would find me, and I didn't have to be on the move all the time. Its Nico that hurts me so much."

Harry knew he'd been the one to insist talking about this but he was beginning to regret it. "He already lost his mother and then his father was killed too… I feel so guilty. Its at least partly my fault that he's an orphan. And I loved being a sort of stepmother to him. This morning was a reminder about… a type of life that I've lost. That's all. I don't want you to think you're less important than them because it isn't true Harry. You're… the most important thing in my life. Ever."

"Ruth, you have honest eyes," he said. "I can see when you're lying to me. I don't know if others know, but I can tell. I know you're not lying to me."

Ruth smiled happily at him, her hand squeezing his tightly. "Normally I'd be annoyed that you just told me I have a readable face, as that's not the greatest thing for a spook, but I'll let it go." Harry laughed at her slightly and then pulled her into his arms. She didn't resist at all and leaned against him, relaxing into him happily. "Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?"

"For putting up with me. My past."

"Well I'm hardly whiter than white," Harry said. "It would be slightly hypocritical."

"Mm," Ruth murmured, thoroughly enjoying his arms around her. Harry could tell and he bent down slightly and kissed the back of her neck. She shivered and he knew it wasn't from the cold air. "We should get back to work," she whispered.

"I know," he replied. But neither moved an inch. It was very comfortable, wrapped in their coats and each other, alone in the middle of London.

* * *

Ruth heard the doorbell go and knew who it would be. Even before the vigorous knocking on her front door. She had left the hospital after a deranged assassin had tried to kill both her and Deary and had barely seen Harry before she was put in the ambulance. "I'm coming," she said. Opening the door she saw Harry looking wild eyed and breathing heavily. "I'd say come in, but that look on your face is rather frightening."

He came in anyway. "You discharged yourself from hospital before I got there," he said heavily. "What were you thinking?"

"At least I called you," she said pointedly. That made a small smile appear on his face.

"Let me see," he demanded. Ruth sighed, but knew there was no option. As soon as she got home, she'd put a turtleneck jumper on so she wouldn't have to see the marks on her neck and wrists, already red but soon to be purple bruises she knew that. Very reluctantly under Harry's glare she pulled the jumper off revealing a black vest top underneath. Harry was momentarily thrown by the vast expanses of pale skin he was seeing for the first time but then shook his head slightly to clear it. He reached for her hand and looked at her wrists critically. The burns weren't very deep but they did extend almost all the way around her wrist. He had a look at the other one and saw the wounds reflected exactly. "Does it hurt?"

"Oh no, it feels like I've just had a relaxing massage," Ruth said sarcastically. Harry glared at her. "Yes, it hurts a little," she edited. Harry nodded and walked a step closer to her to look at her neck. The finger marks on her neck were clear and he felt hatred boiling up inside him. Very, very lightly he put his fingertips over her bruises and she shivered.

"Sorry," he said immediately dropping his hand.

"It doesn't exactly hurt, it just feels… raw and uncomfortable."

Harry nodded. "Have you eaten anything?"

"Yes," Ruth said smiling. "You're welcome to feed me some more if it'd make you feel better." Harry brushed his lips across hers briefly before drawing back.

"Harry, I want you to stay the night with me."

"Absolutely not," he said firmly. "Not after what you've been through today."

"No, I don't mean that…" Ruth said blushing slightly. "I mean, I want that but tonight I just don't want to sleep alone. Because if I'm alone I won't sleep after today. So please, stay with me."

"Okay," he agreed after a moment. "On the understanding that nothing else will happen."

"That's… perfect," Ruth said honestly. "Thank you."


	7. Chapter 7

"I never thought you'd be able to cook such delicious pasta," Ruth said, feeling very full and content.

"It was all you had in the cupboard," Harry said.

"Well, I need to go shopping," Ruth admitted. "Its not exactly been the first thing on my list of things to do." Harry smiled at her and reached across the table to hold her hand. She smiled, even as his thumb brushed over her burns.

"Do you have anything for them?"

"Mm," Ruth said. She got up and found a small tube of cream from her bag.

"Let me," Harry said quietly. She agreed silently and held up her hand to him. Harry moved the kitchen chair closer to her and gently applied the cream to her wrists as she sighed. "I don't mean to hurt you."

"Oh you're not," she said honestly. "That feels great actually." The burn cream was cold and soothing on her inflamed skin as she closed her eyes and enjoyed his fingertips on her. His touch eventually slowed and he kissed her palm softly. She smiled and opened her eyes. "I'm going to bed. Will you join me?"

"You're testing my willpower to its limits but yes," he said. "I will." Ruth got up and headed upstairs. Harry followed but he had to take a deep breath before he did. He wasn't sure how he would go through with his vow to not touch her when lying in the same bed with her but he'd do his very best.

* * *

When he got upstairs he found Ruth perching on the edge of the bed in an oversized T shirt and some jogging bottoms. "I can go home," Harry said as she was looking at the floor.

"No," Ruth said firmly. "I was just thinking about how I killed a man today."

"He would have killed you if you hadn't shot him Ruth," Harry said, sitting next to her.

"I know," Ruth said. "But I am shocked at how easy I found it to handle a gun. I wasn't expecting to feel this way once he'd died."

"How do you feel?" Harry asked. Ruth lay down in bed and Harry covered her lovingly with the duvet before she answered.

"Empty, and like I should feel guilty," Ruth said. "There's a gap where I should be feeling something… and its just empty. And I didn't even think about it before shooting him. I picked up the gun and fired without thinking twice."

"It was self defence," Harry said laying next to her. "You know that."

"I do, rationally," Ruth said. "It doesn't feel like that though." Harry nodded in understanding and stroked her hair softly.

"Try and get some sleep."

"You can't sleep like that," she said at his fully dressed state. "I won't take advantage of you. I don't have the energy for one thing." Harry laughed at her lightly before unfastening his belt and taking his trousers off. Ruth averted her eyes as he got into bed next to her and pulled the covers over them both. "Harry, I want to ask you something," Ruth said quietly.

"Anything," he said, settling a hand on her waist.

"Do you find me sexually attractive?"

"What?!" he asked, completely surprised. He had not expected that to come out of her mouth at all.

Ruth was blushing red but she continued. "I mean, I wondered if that was the reason you didn't want anything to happen between us yet."

"God Ruth, how can you even think that?" he asked quietly. "I haven't slept with a woman for ten years. I haven't wanted to be with anyone else, except you. And being here in the same bed as you… Well its testing my restraint more than ever before."

"I had to ask," she said apologetically.

"Has anyone ever told you something to make you doubt yourself?" Harry asked quietly, sensing her insecurities.

"It might have been mentioned," she admitted.

"Well don't believe… whoever it was," he said. Leaning over he kissed her thoroughly. "Look, I promise you when we make love, and it is a when not an if, it will be fantastic and explosive and you will not doubt for even half a second how attractive I find you."

"Thank you," Ruth replied, feeling happier. She was glad she had voiced her fears and the way he kissed her was more convincing than words could possibly have been. She turned onto her side and Harry dropped his hand from her reluctantly. "Goodnight Harry."

"Goodnight Ruth," he murmured back. It took maybe two minutes for her deep and even breathing to fill the room and Harry was relieved she'd slipped into sleep so soon. However he knew that his own sleep wouldn't be deep or unbroken. He'd slept alone for more than fifteen years, but lying next to the woman he desired deeply was not going to keep him calm. He wanted to know her body intimately, know each and every curve of her body, know what made her moan and where she liked to be touched. He swallowed uncomfortably at the images filling his mind. No stop it, he told himself. He needed to resist from pinning her to the bed and thinking that way wasn't helping him.

He turned on his side and rested his hand on Ruth's waist gently. He closed his eyes and waited for sleep to take him.

* * *

**Should they have sex yet or wait? I'm open to ideas, whichever way you think.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A short chapter before I get involved in 9-8. Warning of swearing in the later part of this instalment.**

* * *

Harry awoke at about six in the morning and was slightly surprised to find his hand resting on Ruth's breast. And she wasn't wearing a bra either, he thought uncomfortably. Without willing it he rubbed his thumb over her flesh and felt her nipple harden slightly under his touch. He moved his hand swiftly away from her, as he didn't want to take advantage of her, especially when she was sleeping.

"That was nice," Ruth whispered, opening her eyes to him. "You don't have to stop."

He didn't say a word but replaced his hand on her body as she sighed with contentment. He squeezed her breast lightly and she rolled over to him, nestling herself into his chest. Her hand reached for the hem of his shirt and ran her fingers over his stomach, skin to skin.

"I'm a bit overweight," he admitted quietly.

"I don't care," she said swiftly. And the soft way her hand was exploring him convinced him that she was telling the truth. He rolled onto his back, pulling her with him and Ruth made a snap decision. She straddled him and her hands went to her T shirt.

"Ruth…" he said hoarsely. She bit her lip and pulled her top off, leaving him with an unobstructed view of her naked upper body and her bare breasts. His hand touched her waist gently and then rose slowly up her side, his thumb glancing over her breasts. She was bruised from yesterday, had burns on her wrists and her throat was painful, but the way he looked at her made her feel more attractive and more desirable than she ever had before and she smiled at him in what she hoped was a confident and seductive way.

"God Ruth, there's only so many times a man can say no to you, do you know that?" She smiled at him, leaning over to kiss him passionately. He pulled her tight to his body, feeling her breasts push against him and he wondered absently if he'd ever be able to let her go. Her nipples were brushing against his shirt, the friction delighting her even as she wished she was against his skin.

"You need to take that off," she breathed, her hands working on the buttons quickly.

"Yes," he agreed quickly, helping her before the material pooled on the floor. Ruth sat up and looked at his chest intently. Harry watched as her eyes flew over his body and felt slightly embarrassed at the concentration in her gaze. "I know I'm not in the best shape," he said quietly.

"Sh," Ruth said putting her fingers over his lips. Her other hand gently traced the shape of his chest, including marks and scars of his MI5 career. Her palm slowed on his left shoulder where the remains of Tom Quinn's bullet remained. It hardly even showed any more. She smiled slightly, leaned over him and set her lips on what remained of the wound. He stroked her naked back as her mouth worked over him steadily, sensually and more than a little erotically. After long minutes she straightened up slightly and looked at him. Then, without saying a word her hand went down to his boxer shorts and squeezed his erection, making him groan loudly.

"My turn," he said with a growl in his voice. She squealed slightly as he flipped her over and pinned her to the bed. He kissed her mouth thoroughly before parting from her. He moved lower down her body and wanted to kiss her neck but thought that might hurt her, so he avoided that and kissed her collarbone instead. Her hands clutched his shoulders, fingernails cutting into his skin as he moved lower and held her breasts gently. His thumbs brushed over her nipples and she shivered, closing her eyes to concentrate. Smirking slightly Harry caught her nipple in his mouth and sucked hard on her. She moaned, low and sincerely under his touch and he kept licking, touching and sucking on her breasts until she was panting with need under him.

Then their haven was broken. The phone rang, loud and shrill from the bedside table. "Oh fucking hell," Ruth cursed loudly. Harry stared at her, he had never heard her swear before.

"Ignore it," he whispered.

"I can't, it's the grid," she said. "I know from the ring tone and I won't be able to enjoy this if half my mind is there. They couldn't call me in an hour," she added under her breath. Moving away from him she picked up the phone. "If this isn't important I'm going to kill you when I get my hands on you."

"Er… hi Ruth," Beth said slightly thrown by that alternative to hello.

"What is it?"

"We've found Vaughn's body," she said. "Lucas did it most likely, and he's on the run. We need you on the grid as soon as possible. I know… after yesterday…"

"Its fine," Ruth lied. "I'll be there as soon as I'm dressed."

"Shame," Harry said stroking her ribcage. She beat his hand away playfully but had a smile on her face at the same time.

"I'll bring Harry with me," she added. Before Beth could reply she put the phone down angrily. "We have to go," she said bluntly.

"I guessed that," Harry said. "Come here first." She smiled and did what he asked, enjoying a long embrace with skin against skin in the early morning light. But all too soon the real world crept in, and they knew Thames House was waiting for them.

* * *

**9-8 coming soon. Not sure how close I'm going to be sticking to what happened on screen though!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Wahoo! I actually have a plan now. It only took almost 10 chapters...**

* * *

"No."

Ruth sighed in frustration. "If this was anyone else you'd let them go into the field, no question."

"It isn't anyone else," Harry said firmly. "You're not going. Lucas is dangerous."

"You think I don't know that?" Ruth replied. "I'll be sitting in the back of a van with two dozen agents on the lookout for Lucas. Tariq can't keep an eye on all the equipment and the CCTV at the same time, he needs help." Harry was silent, but she knew that the spook within him was battling with what he personally wanted. "I know you're my boss, and you're worried about me personally, but you have to… you have to let me do my job. Otherwise what's the point?"

He glared at her but she knew logic was winning. He closed the gap between them and cradled her face in his hands. "You stay in the van, do you hear me? You don't step foot outside that vehicle. And you be careful. Please."

"I will. Of course I will."

"I just can't shake the feeling that something terrible is going to happen."

"Listen to me Harry," she said firmly. His eyes were glued to hers and she felt slightly light headed at the look of love there. "I will be fine. What could happen?"

"I'd rather not think that," Harry said darkly. Ruth decided not to speak any longer. Instead she kissed him sweetly and reassuringly.

"I'll see you later," Ruth said in little more than a whisper. Harry nodded and then smiled, his fingers lacing with hers gently.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too," she replied. "Even when you're overbearing and over protective." Harry smirked slightly as she left his office. He couldn't shake off the feeling of foreboding that was coming over him. But like Ruth said, there would be the best part of thirty MI5 agents in a small area, on the lookout for Lucas. It was probably one of the safest times she'd be in the field. But then, why was he so worried? Sighing, he sat down behind his desk and set up the CCTV feeds. If something was going to happen, he wanted to be watching like a hawk.

* * *

"He's running!" Every agent they had on the street was running after Lucas and Ruth was holding her breath as she watched as many CCTV feeds as she could from the back of the van. Shots rang out and then they turned him over.

"It isn't him," Beth said stunned. "Its not Lucas." Ruth had a moment of complete clarity as she froze. He was going to come after her. Lucas had banked on her being in an unmarked van somewhere around the café and in moments he'd have her as a bargaining chip.

"Tell Harry I love him and I'm sorry," Ruth said to Tariq quickly.

"What? What are you…" He never finished the sentence as the doors of the van flew open and before she could so much as blink strong arms were carrying her out of the van as she struggled pointlessly to get free. A hand clamped over her mouth to stop her from crying out and he half carried, half dragged her to another van. She knew struggling was pointless but she couldn't help it as he gagged her and tied her wrists and ankles before unceremoniously pushing her flat in the van and slamming the doors shut. Ruth closed her eyes and thought one thing. Oh Harry.

* * *

"Get to Ruth!" Harry shouted down the line. "Get to her now." He spent a good sixty seconds hearing nothing but scuffles and running footsteps until Dimitri came on the line.

"She's gone. He's taken Ruth. I repeat, Ruth's gone." Harry yanked out his earpiece and disconnected the phone line. Then, before he could stop himself, he curled his hand into a fist and punched the wall. It had no effect other than making his hand throb like hell, but he didn't care. Dangerous and unstable Lucas North had kidnapped the love of his life. And Harry knew what he'd want. Something he couldn't give him if he wanted to continue to work in MI5. But in a split second he knew what he'd do. There was no other option.

* * *

"Harry."

"Don't you dare hurt her," Harry growled down the phone line, although he knew his power was somewhat limited at the moment.

"I want Albany and then you can have her back. Ninety minutes and we both know that's not enough to find me. Or I'll kill her and you will never find the body or me."

"If you hurt even one hair on her head I will find you and I will kill you slowly and painfully, I promise you that."

"Good, we have an understanding," Lucas said sounding slightly amused. "I'll call you soon." Lucas hung up and Harry looked at Tariq hopefully.

"Encrypted line and too short to get a trace," Tariq said shaking his head. Harry put his head in his hands and tried to do some quick thinking. He knew what he was going to do.

* * *

Ruth sat down, watching as Lucas set two laptops up for God knows what. Her feet had been untied but her wrists were still bound tightly and they were causing a lot of pain on top of her burns from the day before. She wondered if she'd eternally have marks on her wrists from this treatment.

"Lucas, can you loosen these slightly?" she asked, trying to remain calm.

"No," he said in a dead voice.

"I burned my wrists on an iron yesterday," she said softly. "It hurts rather a lot having rope on top of them. I would appreciate it Lucas." He looked at her and then took her bound hands to see whether she was telling the truth. He saw the raw red marks and felt a little guilty, so he loosened her ties a fraction. She sighed in relief, even though she was still bound.

"Sorry," he said briefly.

"Are you? Sorry?" she asked. He glared at her but quickly looked away. "Harry won't give you Albany. He can't."

"He will," Lucas said surely as he gave her a glass of water. "He won't see you harmed. He will do anything to keep that from happening. He loves you too much."

"He does love me," Ruth agreed. "So much that he'd do anything for me." Lucas looked as if his point was proven but she continued. "But Albany is more than just him or me. This isn't within his power to give to you." He looked slightly confused and it suddenly hit her what the problem was. "You don't know what Albany is, do you?" His face was confirmation enough. "God Lucas! it's a genetic weapon! It has the power to kill millions of people! What are you thinking?"

"Be quiet!" he shouted. Ruth shut her mouth but her mind was running amok.

"Would you kill me?" she asked in a deathly quiet voice. "Really, would you?"

"If I had to," he said quietly. "I don't want to, I like you Ruth. Quietly intelligent and so good at your job without showing off about it. Pretty too. I'm not surprised Harry fell for you really. But if I had to kill you, yes I would." She didn't get further in her questioning because Lucas suddenly produced a needle and she panicked.

"No Lucas! What are you doing?!"

"Don't fight it," he said quietly, holding her firm as she felt the needle pierce her arm and some foreign substance injected into her. And then everything went dark.


	10. Chapter 10

**This follows the 9-8 episode, so I haven't bothered to repeat the plot which is exactly as on screen. Starting from Ruth's p.o.v.**

* * *

All she wanted to do was sleep. She never wanted to move out of the blackness. "Ruth!" Someone calling her name. It sounded so far away. She could ignore it and slip back into sleep. That seemed so inviting. "Ruth, open your eyes this second!" Then again, that voice sounded distantly familiar. Who was it? And it was getting less far away too, almost like it was coming into focus. Harry. It was Harry talking to her. Why did he want her to wake up so badly? She was so sleepy and comfortable. Then she felt something wonderful. Lips brushing across hers. Mm, maybe it was time to wake up. She tried pulling herself out of the darkness but it was difficult. Then with effort, she kissed him back.

"Open your eyes!" came an uncomfortably loud shout. She did and it took a second for Harry's face to come into focus. When it did she saw the worry and semi relief on his face.

"Oh God…" she groaned as the aches in her body came back to her and what Lucas had done resurfaced in her mind. With difficulty she lifted her head up off of the ground and felt Harry's hands on her shoulders steadying her.

"You scared me," he said firmly.

"What happened?"

"You were attached to an anaesthetic drip," Harry said. "You very nearly overdosed, and I thought… I thought you might not make it. Its taken quite a while to wake you up."

"How long?"

"We took the drip out of you about ten minutes ago. I thought I was too late." For the first time Ruth looked at him. Really looked at him and saw that he was close to tears.

"I'm okay," she said, knowing he needed reassurance. "I promise. A bit groggy but I'm here." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her gently to his body for a few moments. Then he let her go and he kissed her repeatedly. "Where's Lucas?"

"I don't know."

"You didn't give him Albany?" Ruth asked bewildered.

"I had no choice," Harry replied quietly. "He would have killed you. I can't… I can't live without you."

"You stupid man," she said under her breath. "Why? What are you going to do when millions of people die because you just gave it away to the Chinese?!"

Harry glanced around but the paramedics had left them alone for a moment.  
"Did you want me to let you die?" Harry asked quietly.

"No," Ruth said. "Of course not. But the man I love is principled. He has honour and integrity. He can't be bribed to let millions die for self interest Harry. Why would you do it?"

"I can't live without you Ruth," he said. "Do you understand that?"

"You've thrown your career away. For what? For me?" Ruth said bewildered. "No." She shook her head confused.

"Okay, we've got a stretcher, so when you're ready we'll take you to hospital."

"I'll take her in myself," Harry said. "We have a conversation to finish." The paramedics looked like they wanted to argue but one look at Harry's face and they saw he was immovable.

"Do get checked out Ruth," the paramedic said before leaving them alone. Harry turned to her and she still looked confused.

"I have to tell you something which I shouldn't," Harry said. "The Albany technology doesn't work. Never did. We used it as a deterrent, nothing more. Its why I didn't think twice before trading it for your life. And I would do it again. In a heartbeat."

"So… I'm not going to have thousands of peoples deaths on my conscience?" Ruth asked quietly.

"No," he said with half a smile. "It would have been on my conscience anyway, not yours, but no."

"Oh thank God," she said with a sigh of pure relief. "What… what would you have done if it had been real?"

"I'd have given it to him anyway," Harry said after a beat of silence. "I'd have ended up in prison as an enemy of the state, a traitor and I'd most likely never see the light of day again. And you would be well and alive, so it would be worth it. To me, it would be worth it. A thousand times over. I can't live in a world where you… if you were gone."

"Its just so stupid!" Ruth said. "For one person? What's come over you?"

"You're it," Harry said quietly. "There is no one else for me, you're it. And I love you more fiercely and more passionately than I have anyone else before. Which is why I proposed to you in such an ill timed manner. Because I genuinely can't imagine my life without you. I lived three years without you, I refuse to do it again." He stroked her hair softly. "It would hurt me if you no longer wanted to be with me, but if you were alive and happy, that would be enough for me."

"You mean it don't you?" she said quietly after a minute of silence, absorbing his words. "You really mean I'm it for you."

"Yes," he said. "Of course I do."

"Are you going to go to prison for this?"

"I doubt it," he said firmly. "But I doubt I have a career to go back to either."

Harry leaned in to kiss her but she pulled back, her head swimming with information. "I need to think," Ruth said quietly. "This is all a bit overwhelming."

"Of course," he said. "Let me take you to the hospital." Ruth nodded and he helped her get up on unsteady feet. She was grateful for his hand on her arm as she walked to Harry's car.

* * *

Harry stood by Ruth's side as the doctor checked her over. He didn't want to leave her and she was grateful for his company. His phone rang and the doctor glared at him but Ruth squeezed his hand, a small smile on her lips as he moved aside to answer it. When he came back to her, the doctor had finished with her and was giving her her discharge papers.

"Lucas is dead," he said quietly.

"Oh no," she said. "How?"

"He jumped off of a building. After giving Albany to the Chinese. What a waste."

"How much trouble are you going to be in?"

"A lot," he said unhelpfully. Ruth sighed and felt her eyes swimming with tears. "Hey, don't cry," he said quietly. "It will be fine."

"Will it?" she asked tearfully. She stood up and wrapped her arms around him. He stroked her hair soothingly until her tears dried out.

"I'm taking you home," he said firmly. "Then I think you should take a sleeping pill."

"No," she replied. "I've been unconscious all day, the last thing I need is to be knocked out again."

"Fine," Harry said smiling at her. He leaned down and kissed her softly. She responded eagerly. His lips felt wonderful on hers and she loved it. "Lets get you home," he whispered, eyes sparkling at her. Ruth nodded as they both left the hospital.

* * *

**Not in love with this at all, but oh well! Thanks for the reviews so far, x**


	11. Chapter 11

**This made sense in my head but I'm not sure it reads right. Oh well! This'll be my last update until Sunday night / Monday but I didn't want to leave you hanging too long!**

* * *

_Two weeks later…_

Ruth was waiting outside Harry's house, a set of keys in her hand, her mobile in her other, waiting for a text message. It would come any second now if Beth had done her job right. They were paying off, blackmailing and bribing every guard on Harry's house so that she could have about two hours alone with him before the 1a.m. shift arrived. Ruth hadn't seen him since he'd dropped her off at her house, the day Lucas had taken her. Harry hadn't been on the grid the next day and Dimitri told her that he'd been suspended, pending a formal inquiry into his entire career after giving away a state secret for one woman.

His house was being watched and they were already treating him like a criminal. This did not bode well for the inquiry in six weeks time. No one was saying it but everyone knew he'd never set foot back in Thames House ever again. His glittering career, with so many successful operations in so many countries and leading the anti terrorism section for MI5 for more than fifteen years was ending because of one poor decision. And she couldn't blame him one little bit.

In the last two weeks she'd experienced what it meant to live without Harry. She hadn't seen or spoken to him in fifteen days and she ached for him, badly. She missed him more than she imagined possible, and she knew that he was physically alive and well. If she had to go on, knowing he was dead… she couldn't cope. And it had taken this brief separation for her to see it this clearly. Ruth just thanked God that the Albany file never actually worked and was functional. At least their relationship wasn't going to be buried by guilt. She didn't know if she'd have been able to cope with the knowledge, had it been genuine.

Even though she was expecting it, Ruth jumped when the text message came through.

**_Go ahead. All clear. Be out by five to one. Beth._**

Ruth scanned the house for a moment before approaching the building, keys in hand. She went to the back door, just in case someone was watching the front. It was a precaution as she'd been a spook too long. Quietly she entered the house. No more than two steps into the kitchen and she felt someone grab her waist and hold a kitchen knife to her throat. Not what she'd anticipated and she couldn't see her attacker but the arm around her stomach was familiar.

"Harry?"

"God Ruth, I could have killed you!" he said, his breath whispering over her hair. He stayed frozen except for kissing the back of her neck for a few seconds.

"As much as I enjoy your hands on my body, you holding a knife to my throat isn't my idea of foreplay." Harry immediately let her go, the knife skittering across the floor. She turned to him and smiled, but his eyes were drawn to her throat. Feeling her neck she realised that he'd cut her skin slightly and a bead of blood had formed on her skin. "Forget it," she said forcefully. "Its fine."

"I'm getting a plaster for that," he said swiftly rummaging in one of his kitchen draws. Soon he had one and he tilted her head upwards so he could cover her cut.

"Sorry," he said sincerely as he put the plaster on.

"Forget it," she repeated. "I can't even feel it."

He decided not to argue and instead looked into her beautiful blue eyes and simple stared at her for almost a minute. Drinking her in. "Not that I'm not pleased to see you, but should you be here?"

She knew what he meant. "We've got rid of the watchers for a few hours. I have to leave before one when the next shift comes on. I can't tell you how much I've missed you."

"Come here," he whispered. She smiled and leaned in, for a soft and gentle kiss. One which lied and told her they had all the time in the world. It was wonderful, the way his lips caressed over hers, tongue flicking over her lips sensually. When they parted she was feeling light headed and breathless, almost forgetting that they had an important conversation to have. "Where did you get my keys?" Harry asked, holding her hand tightly and leading them through to the living room where she saw a glass of whisky on the table.

"Thames House had a copy. I stole it before your things were… requisitioned."

"Ah," Harry said quietly. A lot of meaning in that one syllable. "Would you like a drink?"

"I didn't come here for a drink Harry." She sat down on the sofa and to her surprise (and pleasure) Harry sat next to her, inappropriately close, his thigh brushing against hers. She blushed slightly but then carried on with the conversation. "There's an inquiry set for September the first," she said. "I'm going crazy not knowing what; going to happen or what you're thinking."

"It'll be quick," Harry said. "I've spoken to Towers and its for show more than anything else. I'll leave MI5 under a black cloud of disgrace, but no criminal charges will be given to me. I'm lucky under the circumstances."

"How are you so sure?" she asked.

"Because they want it to seem like I'm being punished, without actually making me open my mouth and tell all the secrets I know. I said I'd go without a fuss if prison charges could be avoided. Otherwise a lot of secrets would come out about a lot of people, making everyone in power rather uncomfortable. Its why I have so many people watching the house. The Americans want to make sure I'm not overstepping or doing anything stupid. It was agreed as the best solution and Towers will put it forward to the panel in September. I'm not worried."

"Do you mind leaving MI5?" Ruth asked quietly as she laced her hand with his.

"No," he said honestly. "I wish it were under different circumstances and I wasn't disgraced, but it's the right thing to do. Plus I've managed to get a house out of it too."

"A house?"

"A property that doesn't officially exist," Harry said. "In Dover. We captured spies in the second world war and they were held there. Quietly. So they need a spy to live there rather than a civilian. And it's a nice house."

"You seem to have done quite well!" Ruth said with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, when you've been a spy for more than thirty years, you know which strings to pull," Harry said. He leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose. "I've missed you."

"I know," she said fervently. "Me too. I wanted to see you." She kissed him and it quickly turned passionate. Ruth broke away a fraction and breathed, "upstairs?"

"No. I want to take my time when I have you in my bed. And I know you have to leave."

Ruth looked at her watch, a small frown on her face. "You really think you can last an hour and a half?"

Harry laughed, he couldn't help it. "Tell you what, we'll time it when we're christening the master bedroom in my Dover house."

Ruth laughed. "Count on it." They spent the rest of their precious stolen hours together, talking kissing and generally enjoying each others company. It was wonderful.


	12. Chapter 12

**A little chapter and no Harry either but I hope you enjoy it anyway!**

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**Four weeks later.**

Ruth was close to breaking point. She hadn't seen Harry once since that night, now nearly a month ago and she felt like she was on the verge of collapse. She needed to speak to him at the very least. Never, since her time in Cyprus, had she ever not spoken to him in so long and she was feeling the lack of contact between them acutely. She needed to see his smile, see his eyes warm when they looked at her, feel his kiss. She needed more than the total and complete absence between them. Even though Harry had said this "house arrest" was his form of punishment for his poor choice rather than criminal charges, she still felt it completely unfair. He wasn't a criminal, so why was he being treated like one? The only bright spot was that they only had two weeks longer of their enforced separation to bear. Then he'd be free, even if his career had completely vanished from under him.

On Friday afternoon Ruth received something in her in tray which pushed her over the edge. A memo requiring her to give evidence at Harry's inquiry on the 1st of September. "Oh for Gods sake!" Ruth cried out. She balled the letter tightly in her fist and threw it across the grid, and immediately burst into tears. With impeccable accuracy, she had accidentally hit Dimitri on the back of the head with her summons and he turned angrily. Then seeing her so upset, he softened and walked towards her.

"What is it Ruth?" he asked gently, a hand on her shoulder.

"They want me to give evidence at Harry's inquiry," she sobbed, wiping her eyes, angry at herself for crying in front of everyone she worked with. "God, what can I possibly say? I was unconscious for most of the day."

"This is a formality," Dimitri said, pulling up a chair and sitting next to her. "I've spoken to Towers and several other people who I shouldn't know about and will be there. It isn't going to affect anything."

"I know," Ruth said sadly. "I just… hate this! I need to see him. I miss him so badly. I can't bear being kept away from him. I know you don't need to know this, and Erin wouldn't be happy with me bringing my personal life to work but… I miss him so much."

"Erin Watts is not as much of a monster as you like to believe," Dimitri said. "You'd hate anyone in Harry's seat right now."

"Yeah," Ruth agreed with a slight smile. "I know I would."

"I don't pretend to know what has gone on between you and Harry in the past. I know its complicated."

"That's putting it mildly," Ruth replied tartly.

"But I'm sure he misses you too," Dimitri said. "Now go home."

"I can't," she said instantly drying her eyes. "I have to…"

"Now," Dimitri said softly. "Harry would poison my coffee if I let you carry on working when you're this upset. You know he would."

"Maybe," Ruth said.

"And you've been in late all this week. You deserve an early one today." Ruth's eyes hesitated on Erin, working in Harry's old office. "I'll tell Erin, don't worry. She's warmed to me I think."

"I don't doubt it," Ruth said. She didn't like Erin, but she had noticed the lingering glances between the pair of them. Almost reminiscent of the way she'd watched Harry for all those years. "Thanks Dimitri." She packed up her things and put her coat on, not needing much persuasion to leave the grid these days. As Harry was no longer there, her enjoyment of work had lessened remarkably. She went through the pods and thought that a nice hot bath might make her forget about this awful day.

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**More Harry next I promise. Plus I might be bumping the rating up...**


	13. Chapter 13

**Please note the raise in story rating for this chapter. Hope it lives up to expectations...**

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Ruth rubbed her wet hair on a towel feeling slightly more… well, if not happier, slightly more at peace. She'd come home from the grid, eaten a lot of Cadbury's chocolate, had a long hot bubble bath and was now wrapped in her favourite pyjamas with her blue fluffy dressing gown draped over the top. She didn't think she'd ever been more comfortable, and it had at least helped her forget about Harry for a while. She was debating whether to pick up a book when the doorbell rang. With a heavy sigh Ruth put down her towel and padded barefoot downstairs. It would be no one she had any interest in seeing.

"I'm coming," she said under her breath as the doorbell rang again. "Hold on." Without even looking through the peep hole on her door (stupid for a spook) she unlocked it and threw the door open. "Harry!" she whispered in wonder.

"Hi," he said quietly, smiling at her as she seemed dumbstruck and lost for words. "Can you let me in? I shouldn't be here." Silently she moved aside and he came in, locking her door behind him.

"How? What..? Just… How?" Ruth said disjointedly, watching him closely.

"I'm a spook Ruth," he replied softly. He pulled a strand of her wet hair through his fingers lightly and she smiled before drawing back.

"God, you should go," she said quietly. "I look like a mess. I don't want you to see me like this."

"You look beautiful," he whispered, making her shiver. "And I'm not going anywhere. Unless you don't want to see me?"

"Of course I do," she said, her hand rising to caress his cheek. "You know I do. I just wish I didn't look like this." Harry smiled slightly, then leant down and kissed her so softly it was like a dream. God, his lips felt wonderful, especially after so long apart. He was holding her away from his body, trying to keep things slow and soft but she didn't want that so she deepened the kiss and ran her hands over his chest slowly and sensually. After a moment she pushed his jacket to the floor with a quiet thump. He couldn't hold back anymore and pulled her tight to his body as his tongue delved deeper into her mouth. She was wearing such thick layers that he couldn't feel the shape of her body properly and it was frustrating, but he also didn't want to rip her clothes off. Well he did, but he didn't want to scare her.

Ruth lowered her mouth and started kissing her neck urgently. He could sense the difference in her instantly and suddenly knew they were going to end up in bed together tonight. He pulled back and tilted her chin upwards so he could look directly in her eyes. Her lips were fuller than usual from their kisses and it was all he could do not to kiss her again. "I did not come here for this," he said firmly.

"I know," she said truthfully. "But I'm sick of waiting and I want you. So badly that I ache for you." She blushed delightfully red but he loved that she was being honest with him. "Please don't tell me no. Not again."

"Shall we go upstairs?" he suggested quietly.

"How long are you here for?" she asked, eyes glittering.

"I have to go at… five in the morning roughly. I'm meant to be asleep at home. I have to get in before the morning watch."

"So we have a lot of hours to kill," Ruth said suggestively, her eyebrows raised. He laughed and nodded, eyes fixed on hers intently. She smiled and gripped his hand tightly. "Come on." She lead the way upstairs slowly, their eyes connecting almost all the way before she opened up her bedroom door. He paused only to turn the light on and she looked slightly concerned.

"Does it make you uncomfortable?" he asked indicating the light.

"A little," she admitted. "No leave it," she added as he went to switch it off. "I have a feeling I'll want to remember tonight in all its Technicolor glory." He smiled once and then his hands went to her dressing gown and pulled it off, making it fall to the floor, kissing her as he pushed her to the bed. They parted and she bit her lip as she held and stroked his face.

"What is it?" he asked in a hoarse voice.

"I don't want to be a disappointment," she said plainly. "I'd… rather you tell me if you don't enjoy this, or what you like. I don't want to be lied to."

"I'm not going to lie to you," he whispered kissing the tip of her nose. "And all I want from you, all I need is for you to be honest. It will mean more for us because we're in love with each other. Please trust me."

"I do trust you," she said. "I'm not that great in bed, or so I've been told…"

"Forget them," he said forcefully. "This is about us." He sealed the statement with a kiss before his hands drifted to the buttons on her top. He'd undone two when he realised something and he stopped kissing her for a moment. "You're not wearing a bra."

"I can't sleep if I'm wearing one," she said, smiling at the look on his face. "Never could."

"Mm, if only I'd known," he whispered, lowering his head to worship her body as his hands continued ridding the fabric off of her. Soon her skin was revealed and he drew back to look at her. He'd seen her topless once before but this was a fantastic sight. One he knew he'd never get tired of. Ruth pulled her arms out of the sleeves and then lay back under his gaze. "You are beautiful," he whispered, his eyes going over every inch of her slowly. The dip of her waist, the just visible lines of her ribs below her breasts, the paleness of her skin, her hard nipples just waiting for him.

He palmed her breasts gently for a moment before kissing her on her flesh, making her sigh. He felt her relax under him and could tell she was nervous for what was about to happen. He touched her nipple with his tongue and she made a small sigh of contentment as her hands laced around the back of his head urging him on. He smiled slightly before sucking her nipple delicately and she arched her back. He didn't need to see her face to know her eyes would be closed as she clutched him to her body. Just from these brief licks he could tell that she loved having her breasts touched like this. A good thing that he now knew about her. He let go to move to her other breast when she complained instantly.

"No, no, no. Don't stop please Harry…" she begged before she could stop herself.

"Calm down," he said happily. "I was just moving to this one, he said covering her right breast with his lips. She moaned again as he repeated the process, holding him tightly to her. He stopped only to kiss her lips passionately and she responded eagerly.

"Take your shirt off," she demanded. "Now."

"Take your pyjama bottoms off," he countered with a boyish grin. "Now." She smiled at him. "Do you know, I have never seen your legs. Always covered up with your annoyingly long skirts. I have longed to see your legs for years."

"Lets fix that," she said in little more than a whisper. He smiled and moved his hands to her waist, pushing his fingers underneath the fabric briefly.

"Lift your bum," he demanded. She did as he asked and he quickly pulled the garment off of her, throwing it to the floor. He returned his eyes to her and looked at her intensely. All she wore were her knickers and she looked delectable. Her legs were beautiful. Thank God she had covered them up on the grid, otherwise he'd never have been able to concentrate on anything work related. He held her ankle and softly trailed his fingers up her left calf, over her knee before he started to caress her thigh.

"Harry this is hardly fair," she said breathlessly.

"What is?" he asked as his fingers danced over her flesh.

"I'm just laying here while you do everything," she said quietly.

"That's because I'm being selfish," he said firmly. His fingers went over her thigh and to her hip before he leaned over her again. "I want to know where and how you like being touched. You can return the favour later, but I'm being selfish. So enjoy it," he added with a grin.

"You could at least do me the courtesy of getting undressed," Ruth said with a raised eyebrow, her hands pushing his shirt higher in slight frustration. How could he refuse? They both worked on his clothing and soon he too had only his underwear on. He kissed her softly as he put his hand inside her knickers and touched her wetness slowly. Her eyes fluttered shut and she bucked her hips closer. It didn't take long before he found a rhythm that made her sigh under him. She was close to the edge and he wanted to push her over when she suddenly rolled away from him. "Stop, please stop now."

"Why?" he asked, cradling her face making her look at him.

"Because I was so close, and when I come I want you inside me," she said blushing slightly. Her hand suddenly wrapped around his penis and he jerked towards her, making her smile cheekily. "I need you. Please Harry."

He nodded once and removed their underwear quickly before pushing into her hard, making her moan in a tone of desire and passion he would never forget. She clutched his bum to her as she wrapped her legs around him. She wanted him as close to her as physically possible. She needed his skin touching hers in as many places as she could get.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked lowly, stroking her hair.

"Mm," she replied. "About time I felt like this." He kissed her softly and thrust inside her hard. The contrasting sensations felt amazing and she wondered why this had taken years to get to. "Harry, I love you," she said her eyes sparkling.

"I love you more," he said. "Don't argue with me," he added as she wanted to interrupt. Then to properly silence her, he pulled out of her almost completely for a few seconds and she cried out at the empty feeling before he thrust back inside her.

"God Harry!" She cried. He felt the telltale tingles inside him and knew he was close. So he reached down and caressed her clitoris gently making her pant. He felt her muscles clutch against him and gave her one final push until she came powerfully with a loud cry swallowed by his mouth on hers. He pushed into her once more when he followed her into ecstasy. He collapsed next to her and placed his hand on her breast as she closed her eyes.

"We need to do that again," she whispered.

"I promise," he agreed smiling at her. Then they both slept deeply and contentedly, wrapped in each other.

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**Please leave a review! They really mean so much. **


	14. Chapter 14

**Well, I just couldn't help myself...**

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Harry awoke suddenly with a jolt and for a moment he couldn't place where he was. And then he felt Ruth's hand resting on his chest and smiled at her. Her face was tilted towards him and he felt free to watch her uninhibited. The smooth planes of her face, her gentle breathing disturbing her hair just slightly. The duvet was low on her body and he could just glimpse the tips of her breasts, the rosy nipples he had sucked just last night. God she was beautiful. What did this woman see in him?

He suddenly remembered that he was on a time limit. He looked at his watch which he was embarrassed to think that he hadn't even taken off last night during their tryst. Five to four. It wasn't worth going back to sleep when he'd have to leave in less than an hour. With regret, he made up his mind to wake Ruth up. If he left without disturbing her she'd be furious with him. "Ruth," he whispered, moving his hand to her face lightly. "I need you to wake up for a second."

"Mm," she muttered under her breath, still very much asleep.

He shook her gently. "I have to go." Ruth said nothing but smiled broadly, a truly happy smile he had never seen on her face before. She stretched, her arms above her head, making the duvet bunch around her waist and he swallowed, trying to resist her. Unfortunately the moment she opened her eyes was the moment that Harry was staring at her nipples and licking his lips at the memory of the taste of her.

"Didn't you get enough last night?" she asked amused as she pulled the duvet up over her.

"Well you start flashing at me and I'm supposed to resist you am I? I'm only human Ruth." She laughed and kissed him softly.

"So you have to go?" she whispered against his mouth. "Now?"

"I have a bit of time," he said, smiling against her lips.

"Good because I want to try something I've never done before," she said, kissing him more deeply.

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable," he replied surely as she kissed his neck, her breasts on his chest.

"I know," she whispered. "I love you for that. I still want to do it."

"Do what?" he asked curiously. She bit her lip and smiled cheekily at him but she didn't speak. He stroked a hand through her hair as she moved lower, licking and kissing his chest slowly and delicately.

"I didn't get a chance to do this last night," she said lowly. "You were too impatient."

"I like to think of it as I was too eager to touch you and make love to you," he said and she smiled in agreement, but didn't stop touching him lovingly. She reached his stomach and he knew what she was planning to do.

"No, you don't have to do that for me," he said honestly. "Please, if you don't want to… don't think you have to."

"Stop babbling," she said firmly as her hand lowered and cupped his balls gently. She squeezed slightly and he leaned back on the pillows with a stifled groan. Smiling, she moved her hand so her index finger ran along the length of him. Then, before she could think about it too much, she lowered her mouth to his penis, taking him inside her. An almost inhumane noise came from him and she instantly felt him get hard. She swirled her tongue around the tip slowly at first, but faster at his encouragement, as well as the fact that his hands were laced in her hair urging her on. She continued to lick on him and take as much of him as she could in her mouth. His heavy breathing let her know she was doing something right. Running her tongue over the head again, she knew he was close, and he came calling her name raggedly.

She straightened up and lay next to him as his breathing calmed down and he opened his eyes, staring at her. "You didn't have to…"

"You enjoyed it." It wasn't a question, merely a statement of fact. He smiled and then rolled onto of her, pinning her against the bed.

"Your turn I do believe."

"That's not why I did it," she said firmly.

"I know, but I've wanted to taste you for years. Let me." She blushed but didn't object as he went down on her. Harry knew that he was damn good at this. He knew how to make women beg and plead and gasp for more. He knew just how to lick and taste a woman to have her crying for release. And Ruth was no exception. She was panting and crying out, needing more and he willingly gave it to her. He added a finger, curling inside her inner walls as he sucked her clitoris and she screamed as she came. Actually screamed, loud enough that Harry had a momentary worry that the neighbours might actually think she was being murdered. But then he pushed that thought aside as she sat up and kissed him passionately.

"Christ, if I'd have known you could do that to me I'd have begged you to make love to me the second I saw you all those years ago," Ruth said, kissing him again.

"I have to go," he breathed.

"I know. I'm just going to slip into unconsciousness after that and sleep my weekend away in total exhaustion." Harry chuckled as she collapsed in a heap of sheets, rolled over and closed her eyes promptly. Her even breathing filled the room instantly and he knew that she'd already gone back to sleep. He quickly dressed and then kissed her forehead softly before leaving. He wished he could spend all weekend with her, but he knew he had to leave. So he contented himself with remembering the look on her face as she orgasmed when they were making love last night. He'd never forget that look for as long as he lived.

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**Hope this wasn't too much pointless smut!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Right, I try and post one chapter a day on this website to keep up with my stories. However I will be slowing down significanly and maybe doing an update once a week, maybe less. Sorry to disappoint people, but this means I can work on some of my original fiction which I've been neglecting and want to focus on. That said, enjoy!**

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Ruth awoke around midday to someone hammering on her front door. She was not in the mood to get up but whoever it was wasn't taking the hint and vanishing. So she got up, threw her dressing gown on and hurried downstairs. She opened the door with a less than dignified "What!"

"Morning Miss," a spotty delivery boy said. "I… er… have a delivery for a Miss…"

"Yes?" Ruth asked impatiently. Her warm bed was waiting for her, and even Harry-less it was still more attractive than standing on the doorstep with a less than eloquent teenager.

"Miss... er... Stubborn Mule?" the boy said anxiously, unsure as to how she'd take the insult. What he didn't expect was for the woman to smile softly.

"I guess that's me," she said, feeling warmth spread through her. She signed for it, ignoring the look of incredulous on the boys face and took a shoebox size package into her kitchen. She opened the box and found one perfect white rose inside. She smiled and picked up the note.

_Ruth, sorry about the name on the box. I just couldn't help myself. I'm also sorry I couldn't stay the night. If I had my way I'd still be there with you. But for the moment this will have to do. I still don't know what your favourite flower is, but I hope this is okay. See you soon, H._

Ruth smiled again and knew she was going to send something to Harry. But he was being watched. So she considered what she could send.

* * *

Harry peered outside his curtains and was irritated beyond belief to see that Towers was being interrogated by his security before being allowed to knock on the door. "Oh for Gods sake." Harry opened his front door before the bell even rang, waiting for Towers to approach. He shook off the goons and walked into Harry's house breathing heavily.

"How do you stand it?" he asked.

"By knowing I have only 10 days left of this," Harry replied. "What can I do for you?"

"Nothing at all," Towers replied. "I had a rather urgent call from the best analyst in the country. Your post is still being read and she wanted to send you something." Harry couldn't help the smile on his face at that. Towers opened his briefcase and handed him a rather large box. "I don't blame you Harry, she is… special."

"She is," Harry agreed.

"Do you think I could steal her from Thames House for the Home Office?"

"You'd have to ask her," Harry said diplomatically although he personally doubted it. "Thank you William."

"I'll see myself out," he said quickly, knowing Harry would want some privacy. Harry locked the door and then went through to the lounge, sat down and opened the box. Inside there was a bottle, a flower and a note.

_For my special over indulgent whisky drinker. I loved the rose, although for future reference pale pink peonies as enclosed are my absolute favourite. I thought I'd make your liver incredibly unhealthy with the single malt whisky I chose for you. I can't wait until this enquiry is over because then I'll have the enjoyment of waking up next to you. Love you, Ruth, x._

Harry smiled and took the bottle out. Glenfiddich, quite accurately his favourite. It didn't surprise him that she knew his favourite and he couldn't wait to see her again.

* * *

**1st September**

Ruth dressed very carefully that morning. She was dreading today as she didn't enjoy talking about her personal life at the best of times and she knew she'd be asked some awkward questions. There was a knock on her door as Ruth finished her hair and she slipped her shoes on before answering it. "Your car."

"Thank you," Ruth replied politely, locking the door behind her. She tried to think of anything else on the way. She was going to see Harry again, focus on that.

* * *

Two hours later Ruth felt she needn't have worried. It was extremely dull, even with the attraction of Harry glancing at her occasionally. She was getting bored that it was a slight shock to her when she heard her name. "Miss Evershed?"

"Yes?" she asked more confidently than she felt.

"I'd like to ask you about the day in question." Ruth nodded. "What happened?"

"I was in a surveillance van as we tried to take Lucas in," Ruth said honestly. "Suddenly the back burst open and Lucas took me. Or John Bateman as we now know him."

"What happened when Lucas took you to the room where you were found in?"

"We talked for a little while and then he stabbed me with a needle in my arm injecting an anaesthetic I lost consciousness. My next memory is of waking up with Harry in the room."

"What did you talk about with Lucas?"

"I told him that Harry wouldn't give up Albany to keep me safe," Ruth said honestly. "At that time I still believed Albany was a functional weapon, and I still believe Harry would not have given something that precious to save one person. No matter who that may have been."

"At the time, did you have a relationship with Mr Pearce? Outside of work?"

"Yes I did," Ruth said after only a beat of hesitation. "But I don't think it has any bearing on this."

"It does Miss Evershed. What was the nature of your relationship?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, even though she knew where this was going.

"Did you have a sexual relationship with Harry?"

"No," she said firmly, praying her voice wouldn't waver. It was true, at the time anyway. And they had said this "trial" was for show more than anything else. The woman who'd been questioning her raised her eyebrows in disbelief but did not question her further on the subject.

"When did you discover the Albany technology did not work?"

"When I came out of unconsciousness," Ruth said. "Harry told me. I felt guilty at possibly causing millions of deaths and I couldn't understand why he'd have swapped that for one life."

The woman nodded like this was an acceptable answer and to Ruth's relief she did not ask her any further questions. Instead she turned to the other members of the panel who had a brief and whispered conversation over five minutes or so. Harry took a chance and turned to her, smiling encouragingly. She tilted her head as if to say "did I do okay?" He nodded once before turning away from her.

"Okay, it seems that we have come to a decision," she said. "Mr Pearce, you have been compromised on an operation for a personal reason. If the state secret had been functional, if it had been a different secret, one of paramount importance to the nation you would very likely give it away to save one woman's life. As this is the case, you will be decommissioned from MI5 immediately." Harry had been expecting it, but it still hurt when he heard those words of finality. "As recognition to your services to the country and the prodigious work you have done over an impeccable thirty year career we will not be pressing criminal charges, as are within our rights. Instead, we will be handling this internally. We will consider the matter resolved if you leave your office without protest."

"Of course," Harry said firmly. "Will I still have my life under twenty four hour survellaince?"

"No," she replied. "Once you leave here, as long as you don't return to Thames House no one will be watching you Mr Pearce."

"Thank you," Harry said sincerely. Everyone started filing out of the room and soon it was just Harry and Ruth there.

"I can breathe now," Ruth said happily.

"You didn't believe me did you?" Harry said.

"I did, but I've still been worrying like hell," she said. "And thank you for the peonies last night, they're beautiful."

"I thought it might take your mind off of things," he said, stroking her hair.

"It didn't," she said firmly. "But I loved them all the same." Harry leaned over her and kissed her softly.

"Thank God that's behind us," he said firmly and she smiled with relief.


	16. Chapter 16

**Quicker update than I thought. Enjoy.**

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Ruth arrived back on the grid to everyone clamouring for information about Harry. She succinctly told them and there were reactions from dismay to jubilation. Erin was notable on the happier side, as she would now get to keep Harry's office on a more permanent basis. A massive promotion for her, but Ruth didn't care about her less than guarded smiles of satisfaction. She could keep the stupid job for as long as she liked. All that Ruth cared about was she was going to visit Harry later tonight, and she was going to wake up next to him in the morning. A prospect she was relishing, even though she hadn't exactly told him what she was planning.

"You seem very happy," Dimitri observed. "I'm surprised."

"I'm glad its all over," Ruth said honestly. "I really feared he'd go to prison and suffer criminal charges. So I'm glad he's only lost his job, not his freedom."

"They wouldn't have put him in prison," Dimitri said. "He knows far too much."

"He said that," Ruth agreed. "I just want to get all my work finished so I can spend the evening with him." Just a few months ago she might have been embarrassed to admit this, but now she didn't care. So she typed ferociously, determined to finish at a decent hour.

* * *

Ruth knocked on Harry's door at about six that evening, feeling lighter than she had in months. It only took a second or two before she heard footsteps and then an opening of the door, revealing Harry, his shirt sleeves rolled up and looking absolutely delicious in jeans. Oh dear God, Harry is wearing jeans, she thought to herself. Just because she'd slept with him, it did not lessen his attractions one little bit. In fact it might well increase them. "Hi," he said with a smile. "Come in." She smiled back and went through to the kitchen, surprised to see two pans on the oven. "Dinners nearly ready."

"You didn't know I was coming over," Ruth said confused.

"Yes I did," he said firmly. "I know you better than you know yourself Ruth. Let me take your coat." With her back to him, he slipped it off slowly, his hands lingering on her arms. After a moment he leaned in and planted a soft kiss on the back of her neck. She shivered before he walked away and let her have breathing space.

"White or red?"

"I drove over," she said blankly.

"Mm, I know," Harry replied for a moment. "I thought you'd be staying here tonight. Was I wrong?"

"No," she said with a blush. "You weren't wrong. Red please." Harry smirked and poured her a glass in that order. "What are we having then?"

"Rice and curry," he said. "Simple, but I can actually cook it."

"I don't really… do spicy food," she said slowly.

"It's a mild one I promise," he said. "Trust me, you'll like it." She nodded, privately doubting it but thinking she might as well give it a go. "How's Erin?"

"Happy that you've left," Ruth replied. "Ambitious that one. I'm not sure I like her. Although Dimitri does."

"Oh really?" Harry asked with a raised eyebrow. "Dimitri might have bitten off more than he can chew with that one. I've read her file."

"Leave him to find out," Ruth said quietly as Harry put a plate in front of her. "Will you be offended if I don't like it?"

"No, but I will be if you don't try it." Ruth nodded and took a forkful tentatively.

"Oh my God that's delicious," Ruth said honestly, taking a larger bite.  
Harry smiled but he wasn't really concentrating on the food. He was watching Ruth who had had the weight lifted from her shoulders. She looked brighter and happier than he thought he'd ever seen her. "What is it?" Ruth asked seeing him watch her with intensity.

"You look beautiful."

"No I don't. I've just finished at work and I've been in these clothes all day."

"I can fix that last one," he said with a raised eyebrow. "We can always get you out of them."

"Not until I've eaten," Ruth said firmly even though her insides were melting at the look of Harry in casual clothes. Harry smiled back as if he knew what she was thinking but said nothing as he took a sip of wine.

* * *

Later that evening they had curled up on the sofa together and were talking about nothing and everything. Ruth was leaning against his chest as his hand stroked her hair and his other arm was wrapped around her waist. She stifled a yawn but Harry noticed. "Lets get to bed," he said in a low voice. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow and he continued. "I meant to sleep, not to… well…"

"I'd actually like to be really cheeky and use your shower," she said, biting her lip slightly. "If its not too much to ask?"

"Are you kidding?" he said seriously. "You wet and naked in my shower? I think that's perfectly fine." Ruth smiled slightly. "Do you want me to join you?"

"No," she said so quickly that he was slightly hurt.

"We've already slept together, in case you've forgotten," Harry said.

"Believe me I'll never forget that," she said fervently. "I don't feel comfortable with my body, and I need time before I'll feel comfortable being in the shower with you. But I'll… be looking forward to it in the future. I promise you."

"What parts of your body are you uncomfortable with?" he asked quietly.

"Harry…"

"No, I'm serious," he said. "If I know, then when we're making love I can pay special attention to them so you'll know just how perfect I think you are."

Ruth thought about it for a moment but then made a slight concession and admitted one of her hates about herself. "My thighs. They're too fat and I hate them. And that's all you're getting. Now I'm going to have a shower."

"Take your time," Harry said as she got up and walked upstairs, her face red. Hopefully by the time she was finished, she'd be a bit more relaxed and would believe that he thought she was perfect. In every way possible.


	17. Chapter 17

**Shows that I write much quicker when there's no one in the house...**

* * *

When Ruth got out of the shower, she was feeling warm, comfortable and happy. She wrapped herself in Harry's dressing gown hanging on the back of the bathroom door and went through to the bedroom, finding Harry in bed, reading glasses on the bridge of his nose in the middle of a Charles Dickens novel. When he saw her he put the book down and took his glasses off.

"You wear glasses," Ruth said plainly.

"Mm," he said quietly. "Only when reading for pleasure. For some reason I never needed them on the grid. I was perfectly able to watch your beauty from across the room."

"Oh really," she said with a smile getting under the duvet next to him. "Hope you don't mind me borrowing your dressing gown."

"Looks better on you anyway," he said easily. Ruth kissed his cheek softly before getting comfortable. "What are you going to do?"

Ruth didn't even pretend not to understand. Leaving MI5 was the question and she didn't have an answer. "I don't know. I don't want to be on the grid without you. But what else would I do?"

"There are two other options," Harry said. "The Home Secretary has heavily hinted he'd like to poach you. You could let him. Or the other option which I'd quite like you to take…"

"What?" she asked confused. She didn't get what he was hinting at, and he tried distraction by pulling the dressing gown off of her and touching her breasts softly as she sighed. "Don't think that's going to work. I want an answer."

"Mm," Harry said, pushing her into the mattress and starting to kiss her breasts gently. "I don't want you to run when I suggest what I'm thinking," he murmured against her flesh. She was struggling to keep up with his words as he touched her wonderfully.

Then it clicked. "That house in Dover. You want me to live with you."

"I do," he said, taking her nipple in his mouth and sucking gently. "I want you to live with me.

"Oh!" He continued caressing her and running his tongue over her body, meaning that logical thinking had gone out of the window. "I can't think about this rationally when you're doing that to me."

"Maybe that's my plan," he said with a smile. "Get you suitably distracted that you'll just agree to anything I suggest."

"Works for me," she whispered. "No don't stop, please."

"Give me a second," Harry said smiling. He quickly went down her body and put his hand between her legs. She sighed and opened her legs wider as his fingers played over her. "Live with me," Harry murmured, slowing his touch to make his point clear.

"You can't be asking me this now," Ruth moaned. "Its not fair!"

"Life isn't fair," he replied, brushing his thumb over her clitoris. "Come on, please."

"Stop talking and just… oh God…" He leaned over her and covered her centre with his mouth. She stopped thinking about anything and floated away on ecstasy as he pushed her into a powerful climax. Ruth had no idea how long she lay there with her eyes closed, relishing the feeling but eventually she came back to reality. She looked at Harry and he was gently stroking her hair.

"We'd need a cat," Ruth said quietly.

"Hmm?"

"When I live with you, we'd need a cat," she repeated. "Its not a home without a cat."

"Are you serious?" he asked when he realised what she was implying. "You'll… live with me?"

"Well, I'm in a post orgasmic daze so ask me again in the morning when I'm sane, but yes essentially," she said with a smile. Harry kissed her passionately and didn't give her any time to breathe but she didn't care. "That was an enthusiastic reply!" Ruth said happily.

"Well you've told me something I didn't expect to hear," he said. "And I'm so happy I can't tell you."

"Good," Ruth whispered. Her hand drifted over him and she placed it on his hip. "Do you want to?" she asked suggestively.

"Only if you do," he replied. "I don't want to pressure you."

"God, you make it sound like sex with you is a chore," she said, her eyes twinkling. "I can assure you it isn't." She rolled on top of him and pressed her lips to his gently as his hand drifted over her back. They made love quietly and slowly in the darkness, fully enjoying each others closeness and the love they shared between them. When it was over Harry covered her up with the duvet, pleased that he'd managed to push her into unconsciousness again. Then he turned over and went to sleep, never feeling more contented.

* * *

Ruth woke up the next morning to find Harry holding two plates of bacon and eggs, with two coffees on a tray. "Mm?" she said, scrunching her eyes up to get used to the light.

"Breakfast in bed," he said easily, getting into bed next to her. "You need to get up for work soon so I thought I'd treat you."

"Careful Harry or I'll start expecting this behaviour," she said sitting up and drinking her coffee. It was warm, sugary and caffeinated so it did a wonderful job of waking her up. "It doesn't matter if I'm late for work you know. I'll be handing in my notice today."

"No, take some time to think about it," Harry said firmly even though it was what he hoped for most in the world. "I don't want you to rush into anything and then end up resenting me. It wouldn't be fair on either of us."

"I don't think this is rushing," Ruth said cutting into her fried eggs. "I think this is right. This is what I want to do. I want to wake up next to you, I love being with you. So I would like to have our little seaside house. It sounds perfect."

"I love you," Harry said, kissing her hair.

"I know," she said smiling. "You do really good bacon."

"One of my many hidden talents," he replied. "You want a cat?"

"Please," she said slightly abashed. "I never got one when I came back from Cyprus because… I didn't really ever feel like I was home. I needed you to be here to feel like I was truly home. So I would like a cat. If you don't mind?"

"I'd keep a zoo in our living room if it'd make you happy." Ruth smiled at him, thrilled at the sincerity in his voice.

"Shall we have a look at the house this weekend?"

"Lets," he agreed. He nuzzled into her neck for a second before planting a gentle kiss on her collarbone. She smiled at him before returning to her very tasty breakfast.

* * *

**It seems this fic is descending into fluff and goodness now. Hope no one minds!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Thank you so much for the reviews. Here they are checking out their possible house...**

* * *

Ruth sat next to Harry in the car as they drove through the tiny country lanes approaching the house that Ruth had not yet seen, and Harry had only seen pictures of. "Are you sure you know where we're going?" Ruth asked. They hadn't seen another car in twenty minutes, but it was early on Saturday morning and Ruth was worrying that they were lost and Harry was just too proud to admit it.

"Yes, I know where we're going," Harry said calmly. "If I'm right, we're nearly there." Ruth was silent but even with no noise she managed to convey her doubt. Harry knew this and pulled over. He turned to her and kissed her briefly.

"Look, if I don't know where we are, I promise to make it up to you in exceptional ways." He kissed her neck, flicking his tongue across her flesh and making her shiver. She sighed and tilted her head upwards so he could reach more of her. God why did he have to be so good at that?

"Okay?" Harry said after a moment, drawing back.

"I hate it when you stop," Ruth complained. Harry smirked and turned the engine on and drove off, slightly pleased with her reaction. By the time her breathing had settled into something regular, Harry had stopped outside a cliff top cottage. Ruth almost forgot to breath. If she could have picked any location in the world to live, this would certainly hit the top ten.

"They're giving you this house?" Ruth asked faintly.

"Yes," Harry said. "Do you like it?"

"Its one of the last houses in the country. It must be, so close to the ocean."

"Like I said, it was where we did some unofficial deeds during the war. But it is a nice house. And I've checked there are no remnants from then. Its been empty for a while." All of a sudden he looked nervous. "We don't have to live here if you don't like it," he said nervously. "I just want whatever makes you happy."

"Let me look before I make my decision," Ruth said happily. "Or, our decision more accurately. I want us to have a relationship, not for you to just give me whatever I want, even if you hate it."

"Fair enough," Harry said. He leaned across and kissed her before they both left the car and approached the front door of what could be their new house.

* * *

The inside was quite bare with not much furniture and plain walls. She guessed (accurately) that the previous occupants had been too busy to consider decorating the house. In the lounge there were exposed wood beams in the ceiling, old oak looking beautiful which Ruth would never want to change. The kitchen had a window overlooking the village which was a ten minute walk away, far enough not to be confronted by neighbours at unsociable hours, but close enough to the local shops. There was an old aga oven on the far wall and Ruth could all too easily imagine cooking with the rain beating down on the window as the warm heat filled the kitchen. She loved cooking but never had the time for it when she worked at MI5.

Harry said nothing as they went through the house and up the stairs to explore the first floor. There were three rooms, one of which was tiny and had been used as a makeshift office. It had a slanting roof with a window high up and Ruth could picture it as a reading room so easily. Books stacked up across the walls as the sunlight moved across the window as she devoured her novels.

"What are you thinking?" Harry asked as she lingered longer than usual.

"This could be where I read. Just imagine it, books everywhere. That's if you don't have first refusal on this room."

"We'd need a decent chair," he said in agreement. "And a couple of truck loads to take your books from London."

"Lets go to the bedrooms," Ruth said, choosing not to answer that as it was most likely true. They opened the first door and it wasn't much. At some point it had been used as a dumping ground, but it could be changed. Moving on, Harry opened the next door to the master bedroom and Ruth gasped. It was gorgeous. The floor was wooden beamed across the entire room. She slipped her shoes off without even thinking about it, feeling the bare wood under her feet. The bed was huge and she could only imagine the hours she'd spend there with Harry. She walked over to the window and could see the choppy ocean, sparkling in the intermittent sunlight. Ruth looked out of the window for a moment to compose herself. She loved this house, more than she expected to.

"What do you think?" Ruth asked, not looking at him.

Harry was silent for a moment because he knew that Ruth already loved this house. He could tell from the way she was looking at it that she could picture them there. "The house needs quite a bit of work," he said honestly. "And a bit more than a lick of paint. But I can see us living here."

"Really?" Ruth asked hopefully.

"Yes. And you love it," he stated.

"I do love it," she agreed. "But I want to make this decision together. Not because you're doing what I want."

"I want out of London," he replied. "I've had enough of living in that city. I don't want to grow old there. Its too busy for me. But I genuinely don't care where we live. I care that I live with you. That's what matters to me."

"You're not old," she said, smiling at him. She took a couple of steps towards him and cradled his face softly. "Thank you, for trying to make me happy."

"I love you," he replied, kissing her softly. She smiled into the embrace and pulled him close, her hands pulling under his jacket. They both knew the way this went and she dropped it to the floor as his hands went under her blouse, skimming over her stomach.

"You realise we'll have to live here if this continues," Harry murmured.

"Oh yes," she said smiling. "I'm counting on it." She laughed slightly as he kissed her and cupped her breasts firmly. It wasn't long before she stopped thinking completely, enjoying his touch, his kisses and his love. It was wonderful.

* * *

A little less than an hour later Harry reached across the bed and found it empty. He sat up and looked around the room for Ruth. She had a sheet wrapped around her loosely, her back bare and was staring out of the window. She looked completely lost in thought and Harry suddenly felt a thrill of foreboding.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly.

"Nothing," Ruth said, turning back to him for a second, a ghost of a smile on her face as she returned to the ocean view. "Nothing at all. I was thinking… how perfect this is. I'm… sort of waiting for something to go wrong."

Harry stood up, ignoring the fact that he wasn't wearing anything and stood behind her, one hand around her waist, the other on her shoulder softly. "Ruth, nothing is going to go wrong," he said. He kissed her neck and felt her relax slightly. "I have a little confession to make."

"What?" Ruth said in a low voice, turning and glaring at him.

"Don't get upset," he said firmly. "You have some extra money if you want to make this house… home."

"From what?" Ruth asked confused. And then it hit her. "Oh. The house I owned in Cyprus. Isn't it?"

"Yes," Harry said shortly. "The sale went through while I was on suspension. Its in a private account for you but I wasn't exactly keen to bring it up. I didn't know how to tell you."

"Its okay," she said. And it was true. While she didn't like to be reminded of George and the life she'd left, it was okay to talk about it with Harry. Harry loved her disregarding her past and everything that had happened, as she did with him. Other people didn't matter. "I don't like thinking about George, but I do want you to be able to talk to me about anything." She leaned back and planted a brief kiss to his lips. When they parted she stared into his eyes for a long moment. "I feel lucky. To be with you like this. And happy. Very, very happy."

"Good," he said, relieved that minor obstacle had been overcome. He put his fingers under the top of her bed sheet.

"Harry!" she said in warning. "I'm at a window with no curtains. People will see."

"Look out of the window," he whispered, pulling the sheet away from her body anyway. "There's nothing there but the ocean. Who's watching?" Ruth couldn't believe what he was suggesting but as he kissed her and the sheet fell to the floor she realised she didn't care. As long as he kept kissing her like this, nothing else mattered.


	19. Chapter 19

**Please remember this is M rated. Thanks for the reviews so far... (And I know it was a bit ridiculous to have Harry sell his house so quickly but I hope it doesn't alter the reading too much.**

* * *

"Oh God," Ruth moaned as she rolled over in bed, hearing her phone ringing. She scrunched up her eyes at the sunlight streamed through the window as she'd forgotten to close the curtains. She picked it up without even bothering to look at the ID. "Please, you have to stop calling me at such a stupid time of day you insufferable man. I love you but this is ridiculous."

"I love you too," Harry said with a smile in his voice. "And I love how gracious you are first thing in the morning."

"Mm," Ruth said, switching her alarm clock off as she sat up in bed. "Why are you always up? You don't even have work to go to any more."

"Army training," he said simply. "I never broke the habit."

"When I'm living with you, we will have to fix that," Ruth said firmly. "I am not waking up at six when I don't have to work, is that understood?"

"Yes dear," he said in an exhausted tone which didn't fool her at all. She knew he was smiling. "Will you be driving down tonight?"

"No," Ruth said heavily and the light teasing was gone. "I have to hand everything over to Derek today as its my last day. Give him the passwords and the codes to access what he needs. It'll take hours. And I'm not driving down when I'm tired."

"So I have only one more day of waking up without you?" Harry asked.

"Yes," she said firmly. "Can I ask how you sold your house so quickly?"

"Because I asked for quite a bit less than it was worth. I just wanted to get rid of it. I didn't want to be haggling over a few thousand pounds which I don't need when instead I could be living with you and waking up by the sea everyday. Does that make sense?"

"Yes," she said lowly. "I miss you. You've been so busy moving your things down to the new house that I haven't seen you in a week. I just… I miss you."

"Well, at least I've made an impression," he said with a laugh. "What are you wearing?"

"I can't believe you just asked that," Ruth said almost to herself.

"I want to picture you. Its not nearly as good as you being here with me, but for the moment it will do. Please tell me," he added as she hadn't replied.

"My knickers and that's it," she said after a further moment of hesitation. "As you wanted to know."

"Mm… Okay, that image of you might keep me going until tomorrow morning."

"I love you," Ruth said quietly.

"Love you too," he replied easily. "Enjoy your last day on the grid."

"I will," she said. "Bye." Ruth was smiling as she put the phone down. How did Harry have this effect on her? Was it really just a matter of months ago that she'd refused to have a relationship with Harry? What had she been thinking. Even after a few days apart her heart ached for him. How she had survived three years without him she'd never know. From tomorrow she wouldn't have to. And she was looking forward to it.

* * *

"Right, so you have everything you need?" Ruth asked her replacement Derek.

"I think so," he said going through the system. "Anyway, any other problems I can ask Tariq to give me a hand. Go home. Leave me to mess up in my own fantastic way."

"Okay," Ruth said with a smile. "I think I will. Have fun."

"Get out of here." Ruth smiled and put her coat on before heading to Harry's office. No, Erin's office, she corrected herself.

"Erin, I'm off now," she said poking her head around the door frame.

"Okay," the brunette said with half a smile. "I hope you are happy. Away from here. You didn't seem too happy over the last few weeks."

"I need Harry," she said simply. "I didn't realise quite how much until he was no longer here. Its not a reflection on you."

"Good luck," Erin said sincerely. "I hope Derek's up to scratch."

"He will be," Ruth assured. She'd picked him out herself so she knew after a few weeks he'd have settled in fine. "Bye Erin." Erin nodded and Ruth left the grid for the last time. What surprised her was how she felt as she went through the pods. There was no sense of loss or regret. Just hope. She got in her car in the underground car park and debated driving down to her new house. But it was late, she was tired and it would be rotten luck to get into a car accident because she shouldn't be driving. So with regret she drove home to her cold lonely bed and empty flat.

* * *

What Ruth hadn't counted on was the second she opened her front door she found Harry waiting for her with two glasses of champagne. "Christ!" Ruth said, from shock, her hand over her heart. "You broke into my flat?!"

"Hello to you too," he said handing her a glass. She downed it in one. "Stressful day?"

"No, it wasn't too bad," she said honestly. "I'm trying to slow my heart rate. But I am pleased to see you."

"Good," he said, planting a brief kiss on her lips. Ruth covered her mouth with her fingers, relishing the feeling when she made a snap decision. Trying not to think too much about it she turned around and locked the front door then took her coat off. But she didn't stop there. She looked into Harry's eyes as she slowly unbuttoned her blouse. The surprise on his face was an incredible picture and filled her with confidence, so she slipped her shirt off of her arms with a small smile on her face. She dropped it on the floor and Harry's eyes followed the garment before he looked back at her, his eyes focused on her body, swallowing hard as he tried to restrain himself from pouncing on her. He hadn't seen her in days and he hadn't had sex with her since the weekend before so this was really testing his restraint, and by the small smile on her face she knew it.

"What are you doing?" he asked in a hoarse voice.

"I thought it was obvious," she said, her hand going to the side zip on her skirt.

"I'll have to surprise you with champagne more often if this is the effect it has," he said, watching as her legs were revealed and the fabric pooled out of her feet. She stepped out of it, kicking her shoes off and felt her heart racing. She had never felt more vulnerable, even with the way he was looking at her. Logically she knew he desired her, but it didn't lessen how nervous she felt. Harry looked at her, eyes scanning her very slowly. From her feet to her face and every inch in between.

Eventually she couldn't take it any more. "Harry will you say or do something? Please? I can't bear the silence."

Harry took a few steps towards her and cradled her face with his hand. He kissed her lips lovingly before whispering in her ear. "I have never seen a woman more beautiful than you."

"Don't lie."

"I will tell you this for the rest of my life if I have to," he whispered, his hands on her waist, thumbs rubbing her skin in circles. "Because its true." He didn't wait for her to reply, instead he kissed her deeply, his tongue delving expertly into her mouth, making her moan.

"God, you do that so well," she whispered, opening her eyes and looking at him with love.

"Shut up," he said easily as he kissed her again and his hands went to the back of her bra, quickly disposing of it on the pile of clothing. Her nipples were hard and he pinched them lightly.

"Get undressed," she demanded. "Now." He laughed as her hands went under his shirt, impatiently pulling at the fabric as he fondled her breasts delightfully. She kissed him eagerly and passionately and sighed as his hand went to her knickers and pulled them away from her body.

"God Ruth, you're soaking," he whispered making her blush. His fingers went over her making her lean backwards into the door, panting with desire for him.

"Harry I need you," she begged. He smirked at her as she hurriedly undid his belt, her fingernails scraping against his hips as she pulled his trousers and underwear down. He wasted no time and pushed into her hard. She wrapped his legs around him as she moaned loudly and he kissed her neck. "That feels so good."

"Mm," he agreed, half in a groan. She was wedged between him and the door and she had never felt better. "I won't last long," he admitted. "I'm sorry."

"I don't care," she said. "Oh!" she cried out as he thrust inside her powerfully. He kissed her neck as he moved within her, fast and hard. This wasn't making love, this was just sex. And it felt fantastic. The two of them always tried to keep things slow and gentle, but this was the opposite, frantic and desperate. They'd missed each other badly and there was no time to draw it out. They came together with loud cries, shuddering in unison, their sweat covered bodies sticking to each other. When Ruth opened her eyes she looked at him with passion and love and raised her hand to touch his face.

"That was a good hello," she said, biting her lip slightly. He murmured his agreement, kissed her and then pulled out of her making her gasp slightly. She stood on the floor, her legs slightly unsteady as he watched her intently.

"What?"

"You're so beautiful and you just refuse to see it," he said quietly. He kissed her hair and held her close to him. It was a long time before either let go.

* * *

The next morning Ruth went downstairs and was picking up the pieces of clothing that had been flung everywhere in the hallway. It was quite a reflection on how much they had needed each other the night before. Harry had woken up briefly to have another round of passionate and sleepy love making and had now slipped off into unconsciousness again. She however, couldn't drift off so she wanted a cup of tea. It might do the trick.

Ruth had her arms full of their clothes when she heard a phone ringing. Following the noise into the kitchen she realised it was from Harry's phone in his jacket. He was still sleeping but she hurried to answer it in case it was important. So many years on the grid, she knew when she thought about it at a later date. Looking back she still isn't sure that she did the right thing on that cold Saturday morning, but at the time she didn't pause to think about it.

Instead, while trying to find the phone in his pocket, her hand found a small square jewellery box. She looked at it in complete silence as she sat down on the kitchen chair, and she knew instinctively an engagement ring lay inside the black velvet box. For her. The phone had stopped ringing, but right now it was the last thing on her mind. Instead her mind was running a million miles an hour and she had no idea what she was going to do.


	20. Chapter 20

**Tiny update so you're not on a cliff hanger too long...**

* * *

Harry woke up and felt the empty bed next to him. He was surprised by the fact that she hadn't gone back to sleep next to him after their enthusiastic morning together. He reached for the dressing gown on the back of the bathroom door and put it on, going in search of her. He walked into the kitchen and found her sitting by the table. Then he froze as he saw the small box resting on the table and she was staring at it. "Ruth?" he asked quietly walking into the room.

"I wasn't snooping," she said not looking at him, her eyes still fixed on the box. "Your phone rang and I thought it might be important. And I found that."

"Give it to me," he said in his best, strictest grid voice. She pushed it towards him and he picked it up, stowing it in his jacket pocket once more. "You were not meant to find that. Can we forget about it please?"

"What do you mean forget about it?" she asked, looking at him for the first time. "Why?"

"I've been carrying that around for weeks," he said honestly. "I'm not going to ask you until I'm sure you'll say yes. And as much as I love you Ruth… I'm not sure. It would break my heart if you were to turn me down for a second time. So please, please let us forget this happened."

Ruth still looked confused so he leaned over her and kissed her softly. "I love you, please don't doubt it."

"I don't," she said, smiling for the first time. "I know you love me Harry. But, can I be honest?" Harry nodded, feeling his heart drop. "I'll admit to being a little disappointed."

"Disappointed?" Harry asked.

"Yes," she agreed. "I thought you might have been going to propose."

"Do you want me to?" Harry asked hopefully.

"I hadn't even thought about it," she said honestly. "It sort of hit me like a brick wall when I found that box." She gripped his hand tightly before adding what she'd been thinking about while Harry was in bed. "And just to let you know that when or **if** you do ask me, my answer won't be what I told you the first time."

"Well, I will keep that in mind," he said in a low voice, filled with promise and expectation. She blushed slightly but smiled at the same time.

He changed the subject but he vowed to himself not to forget this conversation. He stroked her hair softly. "How long have you been sitting here?"

"Ten minutes?" Ruth replied. "I don't really know. I was going to bring our clothes upstairs and make us some tea but… I got distracted." Harry nodded and kissed her softly.

"Are we packing some of your things today?"

"Yes," Ruth said, glad of the change of subject and that they were talking about something less emotionally draining. "We'll have to take quite a few of my books you know."

"I know," he replied. "Breakfast?"

She smiled at him. "Please." Harry stroked her hair once more and then started on the bacon.


	21. Chapter 21

Over the next month they worked on the new house, making small adjustments, buying furniture and putting Ruth's flat up for sale. Nothing had been mentioned about the ring Ruth had discovered. Ruth wasn't sure if she was relieved or let down that it hadn't been discussed. But she was happy that their house was nearly finished, and just the way she liked it. In fact it was turning into her dream house. It was amazing how much work two people could get done when they didn't have jobs to go to.

The last thing they had to do was the bathroom. They had decided to get a two person free standing bath and once it was installed Ruth couldn't wait to try it out. She looked at Harry that evening, a certain glint in her eyes and he got the point immediately. He pulled her close and kissed her, then whispered in her ear. "Go on up. I'll lock the house and be up in a minute. I promise." She smiled and kissed him passionately, her hands in his hair, pulling him close.

"We've done it," she said. "We've actually made a house for ourselves. A perfect home for us. I can't believe we did it."

"Well we did," Harry murmured. He kissed her again. "Now get in the bath and wait for me."

"You will join me?" she asked, a hint of a question in her voice.

"You even have to ask?" he said with an amused look on his face. "I wouldn't miss an opportunity to have you at any time, and you wet and naked in our bath? Of course I'll join you. Give me a minute. I'll lock up." She nodded and went up the polished wooden brand new staircase that Harry had wanted and went to the bathroom. God she loved their bathroom. Everything was new and perfect. She started filling the bath with hot water and bubbles, quickly stripping and getting in. She felt the tension draining away the second the hot water washed over her body. She leaned back and when the bath was full turned the tap off, waiting for Harry. Which took less than a minute before he opened the door and smiled at her.

"You started without me," he said, bending down and leaning over the bath tub to kiss her. She pulled him close, her arms dripping over his shirt. "Ruth?" he whispered into her mouth.

"What?" she replied breathlessly before kissing him again.

"Can you stop for a second?" he asked.

"You usually don't ask me to stop," she said with a raised eyebrow and a smile on her lips. He smiled back and then took her completely by surprise. He reached for something she couldn't see, and she didn't bother looking as she was focused on his face.

"Ruth, will you marry me?" Then she looked down and saw the velvet box, now open for the first time revealing the ring she'd never seen. But she didn't give it more than a quick glance. Instead she was watching his face intently, and knew hers was registering nothing but shock.

"You planned asking me when I was in the bath?" Ruth asked.

"No, I wanted to ask you when the house was finished," he said. "And I thought it might not be a bad idea if I cut off your escape options."

Behind the confidence of the words, she knew he was nervous, so she forced the shock off of her face and smiled at him slightly. He sighed slightly and she saw the tension in his shoulders vanish. "Yes," she said simply. "I will. Of course I will." His face split into a grin and he kissed her passionately and deeply, pulling her close and spilling water on the floor. But neither of them cared. "If you don't get undressed and join me I'm going to scream."

"In a minute," he said. He got the ring out of the box and held her hand, ignoring the fact it was wet. He slipped it on her finger and it fit perfectly.

"How did you know?"

"I measured your hand when you were asleep," he admitted. "I got the ring adjusted. I wanted it to fit." Ruth looked at her newly adorned hand and admired the large diamond, with two light blue stones either side.

"What are the blue ones?"

"Aquamarines," he said. "Not traditional but they match your eyes. And I thought you'd like them."

"I love them." She bit her lip slightly before speaking again. "Now Harry, do me a favour and get in this bath." He grinned and quickly undressed, getting in the opposite end of the tub. Ruth smiled and leant over him, the water rippling around them. She kissed him passionately, the water making their skin slippery as she straddled him. "We're engaged," she whispered.

"We are," he agreed, a wide smile on his face. She had never seen him look so happy. Not when they slept together for the first time, not when she agreed to live with him, never. She kissed him, and would give an awful lot to see that smile on his face more often. While they remained lip locked her right hand drifted downwards and gripped his erection tightly. He groaned into her mouth and she smiled. Very slowly she ran her fingers back and forth and his breathing turned very harsh. She stopped kissing him and watched his eyes cloud over with a haze of passion as she kept touching him. After a moment he suddenly pulled her hand away from him. "I won't be able to hang on," he said. "And I'm not young enough to go twice so quickly."

"Shame," Ruth said but she smiled as she kissed him again. He reached between her legs to make her ready for him but she shook her head. "I don't need it. Just you." He smirked and then let her make the first move. They'd never had sex with her on top because she tended to be uncomfortable like that and he wondered if she'd insist they move. But she didn't. With her hands on the edge of the tub she lifted herself up and pushed herself onto him with a gasp. Her eyes were closed and her head was leant back, exposing her breasts and her throat. She looked fantastic. Harry reached forward and fondled her breasts delicately. He kissed every part of her he could reach and her breathing was so erratic that he felt thrilled he could do this to her.

Moving her hands to his shoulders she set a slow rhythm for them, relishing every single second between them. "Are you okay?" he asked hoarsely.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because…" then he couldn't bear to say that she might be uncomfortable in this position.

"I'm more than fine," she said pushing herself onto him again with a sigh. She pushed herself closer and with every movement her breasts rubbed against him. He held her tightly, feeling the tingles of a fast approaching orgasm. But he was surprised when he felt her suddenly clench around him and come without warning. She didn't cry out or scream but he could feel it. So he let go of his restraint as he pushed into her again and climaxed himself.

When he felt Ruth move away from him the water was lukewarm and he opened his eyes. "I like this bath," he said and she laughed. "Lets go to bed." She smiled in agreement.

* * *

Harry woke up in the middle of the night and he had no idea why. He looked to his right and could just make out Ruth on her side in the darkness. Then he realised what was wrong. She was shaking slightly and he knew she was crying. He flicked the lamp on and then turned back to her. He put a hand on her back lightly and could hear her ragged breathing. "Ruth, what is it?" She shrugged her shoulders but didn't answer. "Please talk to me."

"I didn't mean to disturb you," she said in a ragged breath in between quiet sobs.

"Don't be silly," he said. She didn't reply. "Look, if you don't want to marry me, then that'll… that will be okay."

"No, its not that," she said finally turning over and facing him. "I'm really happy."

"You look happy," he said sarcastically, noting the tracks of tears on her face and her red eyes.

"I forgot," she said simply, shaking her head. She smiled through the tears. "I was thinking about our wedding," she said quietly. "Just random thoughts, you know. And I thought that my father couldn't walk me down the aisle. And then I remembered what day it is. It's the anniversary of his death today. I forgot. I suddenly felt so guilty that I hadn't even remembered and then I couldn't stop crying. I didn't mean to disturb you. Sorry."

"You don't have to apologise for missing your father," Harry said, stroking her hair, feeling a mixture of sadness and relief that she wasn't regretting their engagement. "Its okay to cry. I'd never have proposed to you today had I known."

"I'd forgotten too," she said wiping her eyes and trying to hold herself together. "I feel guilty for being so happy I guess."

"Please don't try and apologise," he said, holding her close. "You can cry. Its okay. I have to admit I'm slightly relieved that you're not crying over our engagement."

She chuckled weakly into his chest. "Of course not. I've been waiting for you to do it for more than a month. I thought you'd changed your mind."

"Don't be stupid," Harry said. "I've wanted you for eight years, I'm hardly likely to change my mind now." She smiled into his bare chest.

"I am happy, please don't think otherwise, I just came over very sad about my dad. But I am so happy that I'm finally wearing the ring."

"Did you look at it? Before hand?"

"No," she said. "I didn't dare open the box. I wanted to wait until you popped the question." She kissed him briefly and closed her eyes wrapped in his arms. He stroked her hair, whispering words of comfort to her. But it was a long time before they slept.

* * *

**Well, it couldn't be all sunshine could it? I wanted to add a little realism as opposed to complete happiness and I hope I've succeeded.**


	22. Chapter 22

The next morning Ruth woke up to the smell of coffee. She scrunched her face up and felt Harry stroke her hair. "I know you're awake," he said. "I have coffee and toast and bacon."

"Bacon?" She asked sitting up.

He smiled, handing her her plate. "Are you alright?"

"After my emotional outburst last night you mean?" Ruth asked taking her mug.

"Yes," she said. "I'm fine. It just got to me for a moment."

"You can always talk to me," he said quietly. "Whatever's bothering you, I'd rather you talk to me than bottle it up. You can tell me anything."

"I know," she said with a slight smile. "I didn't plan on having an breakdown in the middle of the night. But I'm better now. Thank you." She leaned across and kissed him slowly and lovingly. When they broke apart she was smiling and she took a sip of coffee. "I might break in the kitchen today."

"Really?"

"Well its not just for show, I am intending to use it," Ruth said, smiling. "I can't do anything resembling meals, but I can bake. Or at least I used to be able to at any rate. So if its burnt can you just pretend to like it?"

"I'll eat every last bit of charcoal that you give me," he said with a very soft look in his eyes. "As long as you're happy."

She didn't reply straight away. Instead she admired her engagement ring for a few seconds. "I am. Very."

"Good." He kissed her again, slowly which turned into a long and deep kiss. "We can eat later can't we?" he said, his hand covering her breast firmly.

"Absolutely." She quickly put their plates and cups on the floor before rolling on top of her fiancé and kissing him deeply, all thoughts of breakfast forgotten.

* * *

Later that morning Ruth was happily cooking in the kitchen and listening to the radio while she was alone in the house. Harry had gone for his habitual walk into the village, checking for strange vehicles or anything out of the ordinary. There was no danger but she had found out that Harry couldn't relax until he'd checked everything out. He'd been a spook too long to break the habit, and it was a small price to pay for his peace of mind. Plus, he liked the fact that he was now living in a small village and he liked having a look around.

Ruth had thrown away one batch of shortbread but the second was on a cooling rack and she was working on mixing up the batter for a fruit cake. She'd forgotten how much she enjoyed cooking. Now that she had no job and the house was finished she could do as much as she liked. In her brand new kitchen. She was just adding the raisins to the mixture when "Moves Like Jagger" came on the radio. She smiled to herself and turned the volume up. Then before she could help herself she started singing along and dancing in the kitchen. When the song ended she heard a footstep and she turned around quickly. The smile on Harry's face told her that he'd seen what she'd just been doing and she went red.

"Sorry," she said her face still flaming unable to believe he'd caught her behaving like a teenager.

"I think I just fell in love with you a bit more," he said, pulling her into his arms. He kissed her deeply and by the time he let her go she was no longer blushing.

"Do you want some shortbread?" Ruth asked happily.

"How burnt is it?" Harry teased.

"Its not bad actually," Ruth said giving him a warm biscuit. He took a tentative bite out of it and then agreed.

"That's delicious," he said and she smiled, not sure whether he was saying that to please her or whether he meant it but she appreciated it all the same.

"Anything out of the ordinary?"

"No," he said. "But I had to check."

"I know," she said smiling. "I love you."

"Love you too." He picked up today's newspaper on the kitchen table and then took another shortbread biscuit into the lounge with him. Ruth smiled as she put the cake in the oven. She had no idea it was possible to be this happy.

* * *

"I'm going out," Ruth said that afternoon. Harry was muttering under his breath at the news and wasn't paying her much attention. "…bloody stupid politicians… what was that sweetheart?"

"I'm going out," she repeated.

"Why?"

"I need some things," she said. "I can't find my make up since we moved here, it seems to have evaporated and we need some householdy type things. And loo roll. I assumed you didn't want to spend the afternoon traipsing around the shops."

"Not really," he said. "I'd rather shout at the telly," he added good naturedly. "Politicians messing up again."

"I'll be an hour. Maybe more," she said, unused to the fact that the shops were not on her doorstep. Harry stood up and kissed her deeply.

"You don't need make up," he murmured in between kisses. "You're beautiful the way you are."

"But I feel more confident when I've got it, so don't argue with me."

"I won't," he said, letting her go. "I'll see you later."

"Bye." Ruth left the house and drove into Wotton-Under-Lyme, the nearest town with a high street and she parked erratically, her mind somewhere else completely. She hurried into Boots and quickly found what she wanted but she couldn't bring herself to pick one up. She found herself standing stock still in front of the shelf of pregnancy tests.

* * *

**Thanks for the reviews so far, I'm not sure whether she is expecting or not. All input and suggestions appreciated :-)**


	23. Chapter 23

Ruth parked the car outside the house with her heart in her mouth. She hadn't taken the test yet, she was a bit afraid to. The chances she was pregnant were so slim as to be unreal. She was past forty (just) and she was on the pill. But she knew the pill wasn't one hundred percent and her period was late. Ruth had no idea if she wanted the test to go positive or not. She hadn't even thought about children in years. After about thirty two she had just expected it not to happen to her. That she wouldn't be lucky enough to find someone who wanted her on such a long term basis. But now she'd found Harry. Someone who loved her more than she thought possible. She knew that in the way he looked at her everyday and the way he treated her. So maybe being pregnant wouldn't be the worst thing. But before she did anything she needed to talk to Harry.

Going inside she found Harry still in the lounge, now with the TV off and flicking through a book absently. "Hi," he said when he saw her around the door frame. "What's wrong?" he added at the look on her face. Ruth said nothing, instead she opened her bag and got the test out, throwing it to him. Harry read the box and then looked at her, a stunned look on his face. "Are you?"

"I don't know," she said honestly. "But I'm late."

"Aren't you on the pill?" he asked masking his emotions well. She wished he wouldn't do that because she needed to know what he was thinking.

"I am," she agreed. "But its not 100%. Anyway, I might be. But I'm… a bit scared to take the test."

Harry stood up and walked towards her, his eyes connected with hers, but she still couldn't read them. He kissed her briefly and stroked her face. "Take the test."

"Not before I know what you think," Ruth said biting her lip. "I need to know what's going through you're mind."

"I think it would be wonderful," Harry said honestly. "So wonderful that I'm trying not to get my hopes up until we know." He allowed himself a genuine smile and she felt some of the tension leave her. "You don't seem happy."

"I don't know what to think," Ruth said truthfully. "I thought I was too old to have a baby. I just didn't even consider it."

"Take the test," Harry repeated. "Then we'll know."

"Okay," Ruth said, breathing heavily. They both went upstairs and while Ruth was taking the pregnancy test Harry wondered if he could be this lucky. If he would be able to watch as Ruth as she grew with their child. If he'd be able to hold their baby with its mothers gorgeous blue eyes.

Ruth opened the bathroom door, looking at her watch. "About one and a half minutes left," she said, her eyes glued to the second hand. "Would you want a baby?"

"Normally I'd say no," he said. "I'm not exactly in my prime after all. But with you… I'd love a baby with you. I'd love to watch our child grow. The thought of you holding our son or daughter… I can think of nothing I'd want more. Except with the promise of seeing you in a wedding dress, that might come close."

Ruth rolled her eyes slightly but she smiled. "We could turn the spare room into a nursery," she suggested, allowing herself to think of the possibility in real terms for the first time. "It could be perfect," Ruth said. "Couldn't it?" Harry nodded. "But I refuse to marry you when I'm carrying a baby bump. Such a cheap bride look."

"Fine," Harry said, smiling. She smiled back, looked at her watch and then looked at the test.

"I'm not pregnant." She sighed and threw the test away, pausing only to wash her hands. She felt the bitter sting of disappointment and one look at Harry's face told her that he was feeling the same way. "Shall I throw my birth control pills away?"

"Its up to you," Harry said. "I think I've made my feelings clear, but I don't want to push you into anything."

Ruth smiled and then dropped her pills into the bin before kissing him briefly.

"Lets have some dinner."

* * *

That night in bed, Harry stroked her hair softly. "I didn't mean to get your hopes up," Ruth said apologetically. "I thought I was."

"Its fine," he said. But they both know it isn't. Instead of speaking he kissed her softly. She smiled into the embrace and when they parted some of the tension was gone.

"I didn't know you'd be so… eager for a child."

"Well, I like to surprise you," he said with a grin. "Plus we will have to have lots of practise at making a baby won't we?"

"I expect we shall," Ruth said, her face breaking out into a grin that didn't even attempt to hide her happiness at the prospect. She giggled slightly as he rolled on top of her, kissing her again as his hands started wandering delightfully. God she loved the way he touched her. She stopped thinking of marriage, children, of anything at all as he touched her. All she wanted was for him never to stop.

* * *

**I hope I've done okay with this as I've never taken this route before. Thanks for the reviews so far.**


	24. Chapter 24

"No, of course sweetheart," Harry said as he paced the kitchen. "We won't mind at all. It'd be lovely to see you." Ruth walked in and looked at him curiously for a moment as she made two mugs of tea before sitting down. She was still wrapped in her dressing gown, having only just woke up, whereas Harry was fully dressed and looked wide awake. Stupid man.

"Catherine?" she mouthed. Harry nodded before returning to the conversation.

"Ruth would love to meet you," Harry continued. "You can stay as long as you like. I'll put the eggs on and see you in a bit. Love you. Bye."

"Catherine's coming over?" Ruth said slightly unnecessarily.

"Yes, have you seen the news?"

"Its only eight in the morning," Ruth said rolling her eyes. "If you'd been in bed next to me, I'd have rolled over and gone back to sleep. No, I haven't seen the news."

"A volcano has erupted in Iceland. Volcanic ash is making its way south over the UK, making it unsafe to fly. No aeroplanes are flying out of London which means Catherine has nowhere to go. She was supposed to be flying out to Iran today, her flat's re-rented. You don't mind? It'll only be for a couple of days."

"Harry, you're allowed to have your daughter stay here," Ruth said simply. "Of course I don't mind. But I am going to have a shower as I'd like to make a good first impression. And she will hate me."

"She won't hate you," Harry said reassuringly, smiling almost indulgently at her.

"Oh she will," Ruth said easily and seemingly unconcerned. "Because when my mother remarried I hated my step father on principle. I was always going to hate him. So I'd be surprised if she likes me. But I'll be my most charming shelf anyway."

Harry leaned over the table and kissed her softly. "I'd join you in the shower but I don't think that would get us anywhere near respectability."

"Doubtful," Ruth agreed. "I'll be back in ten minutes."

"I forgot," Harry said, kissing her again. "To say good morning."

"Good morning," she said, smiling into another kiss. A long kiss. "No stop, I'll never get in the shower alone at this rate."

He smirked at her as she went upstairs, her heart racing quite a bit more than it should be from that hello from her fiancé.

* * *

Harry felt nervous as the doorbell rang. He'd always intended for Catherine to meet Ruth, but he expected to have time to prepare for it beforehand. Not for her to turn up almost on their doorstep. Of course she was always welcome, but he was nervous about the two most important women in his life meeting. He opened the door and saw a bedraggled Catherine standing there, her cases behind her and a small smile on her face.

"Hi dad, God the airport is a nightmare!"

Harry gave his eldest child a hug and then carried her bags in. "So when are you flying out?"

"I got a transfer for next week," Catherine said. "I could have hung around but I wanted to get out of five levels of hell as quickly as possible. The airports full and no one is flying. I thought I'd take next week and get out of there."

"Its good to see you," Harry said pouring her a mug of coffee as she sat down. "You look well."

"I am," she said. "I'm looking forward to getting back to Iran. But I know you worry about me when I'm over there."

"I do," he said. "I can see why you'd want a career with excitement and danger. After what I did for a living."

"I suppose I am your daughter," Catherine said, smiling sadly. "So when do I meet her?" she asked changing the subject.

"I'm sure she'll come down soon," Harry said. "She wants to make a good impression."

"You proposed to her." Its not a question, just a statement of fact.

"Yes," Harry said, wondering if this is going to be an issue.

"You haven't known her that long."

"I have," Harry corrected. "I've known her about eight years. I haven't been in a relationship with her for long but I do know her."

"I'll try to like her," Catherine said, a happy smile on her face. "I like being on speaking terms with you far too much. And I know you… care for her."

"I don't talk about her that much."

"No, but it's the way you speak of her."

"I don't regret marrying your mother," he said quickly. "I loved her, but in all honesty it burnt out. But I got two wonderful children from that marriage so I don't regret it. I do regret not letting it go as quickly as I should have. I now hate the arguments that I let you two see when growing up. I should have left then. That is my biggest regret. Not knowing when to throw the towel in and leave."

"Us Pearce's always were too stubborn to see sense," Catherine replied, smiling broadly. "Neither of us blame you. Graham just doesn't want to turn into you. That's why he distances himself."

"I know. It hurts, but I know." Silence descended in the kitchen, and Ruth (who had been listening to their conversation outside the door) came in, smiling.

"Hello," she said easily. "You must be Catherine."

"Its nice to meet you." Ruth was about to reply when she realised that Harry had left the bacon in the oven, and she quickly opened it sighing.

"I hope you like your bacon crispy," Ruth said, biting her lip. "Your father seems to have forgotten breakfast."

"Ruth, it feels like I haven't eaten in days, the queues at Heathrow were so bad. Crispy bacon sounds perfect." Ruth smiled, pleased that Catherine was at least not hating her straight away and she plated up their breakfasts.

* * *

Catherine wanted to talk to Ruth on her own without Harry acting like an overprotective bat (to both of them). The next day the chance came when Harry got called by the grid. They needed his first hand experience about a case in the early eighties as someone was copying it. It got very detailed and he apologised as he left the lounge, leaving the two women to it. Catherine had warmed to Ruth over the past twenty four hours, seeing that she wasn't the trophy wife that she'd expected before turning up. She was quiet and collected, and it seemed very confident in her relationship with Harry. Catherine had inherited her fathers observation skills and knew without asking that they both loved each other deeply. It didn't cause her any hurt to see that.

"Why are you with Harry?" Catherine asked without hesitating.

"Jump right in don't you," Ruth said, trying to put her brain in gear. "Because I love him," she said after a moments silence. It was simple and it was true. "I tried for years not to. It didn't make any difference. I loved him anyway. And he is not always an easy man to love."

"No he's not," Catherine agreed.

"He's unlike any man I've ever met. He's got integrity and honour. He truly believed at MI5 that we were doing our very best to protect the country, and he didn't get sullied by the decisions he had to make. He… he did the right thing, whenever possible." Ruth chose not to voice two other factors that worked in Harry's favour. When he was on the grid bossing people around he was incredibly attractive (especially with the art of unbuttoning a tie to make her heart race), and the fact that he was incredibly good in bed. Neither would be appropriate to tell his daughter, no matter how true they may be.

"You're younger than I thought you'd be," Catherine admitted. "Nothing like I expected."

"You thought I'd be an old frump?"

"Old yes," Catherine said. "Frump no, because that's not the type of women he goes for. He seems… softer around you. I don't know if that makes sense. Just, he seems different. Not the hard tough man I'm used to."

"I don't know what to say to that," Ruth said quietly. "He doesn't seem different to me. Except maybe more relaxed now he's out of Thames House."

"I suppose I'm trying to say… you're good for him."

"Thank you," Ruth said, smiling easily. "That means a lot, especially from you." Catherine smiled back. "Why don't you hate me?"

"Look, I love my mother, but she wasn't any good for dad. They ended up hating each other. I'm not foolish enough to wish my parents back together. It would be pointless. Have you started planning the wedding?"

"No," Ruth said. "We haven't discussed it, but I'm thinking maybe June. I'd like a summer wedding."

"Have you ever been married before?"

"No, first time," Ruth said. "Thank you. For being so reasonable."

Catherine smiled but didn't reply to that statement. "Have you thought about your dress?"

"Yes, but I have a feeling Harry won't like what I'm thinking," Ruth said darkly. "I don't want to wear white, and I know he's a traditionalist. I might have a battle on my hands for that."

"Yes you might," Catherine agreed as she flicked the TV on. The news was halfway through the item on the awful situation at the airports all over the country. "God there are still queues at Heathrow. Has no one got the point that no planes are flying?"

Ruth smiled to herself, but she knew that Catherine's curiosity had been satisfied, and she'd been accepted. Which meant an awful lot to her, as she was Harry's daughter, and the person who's opinion mattered to her. Ruth turned her attention to the TV, with a warm glow inside.

* * *

"Come here," Harry whispered later that night in bed. Ruth knew that tone in her voice and she rolled over on to her side.

"No," she said certainly. "Not when your daughter's in the house."

"Spoil sport," Harry said.

"You know as well as I do that I just can't make love to you quietly," Ruth replied. "And I'd be mortified if she overheard us. So no." Harry sighed but didn't argue. He hadn't really expected her to agree anyway. He put his hands on her waist and slipped his fingertips lower, under the hem of her pyjama bottoms and knickers. "Harry I said no."

"I know, I just want to hold you, give me a second." She waited and his hands splayed on her hips caressing her skin before he pulled her flush against his body, her back to his naked chest. She could feel his erection against her backside but knew he wouldn't push her into anything if she was uncomfortable. But it did feel incredibly good with him touching her like this.

He kissed the back of her neck before whispering, "Catherine likes you."

"Did she tell you that?"

"No, but I can tell," Harry said happily. "But she did mention that you'd been thinking about wedding dresses."

"I don't want a white dress," she said, feeling like it was an opportune moment . "I'm very pale anyway, and I'd feel washed out I think. I want to look beautiful on our wedding day, and unless I find a white dress which I fall in love with, I'll probably go for blue or something like that. Would that be okay?"

"I'll be honest," Harry said. "I would love you to wear white, but its far more important to me that you actually marry me. You know, before you realise you've made a mistake."

"I love you," she said, covering his hand with her own. "I will not be changing my mind."

"Good," he said. "But I won't be totally convinced until you've signed the marriage certificate."

She knew nothing she said would change his mind, so instead she turned over and kissed him passionately, her tongue delving into his mouth wonderfully. "We need to start planning our wedding."

"Mm," he said. "Not right now."

"No, not now," she agreed, smiling into another kiss.

* * *

**In all honesty I really don't like this bit but I thought it necessary to introduce Catherine. Hope someone likes this more than I do.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Thanks for the reviews so far. I tried to make Catherine a bit distant but it wasn't happening, so this is what happened instead...**

* * *

Five days later Ruth was flipping through a bridal magazine, getting increasingly impatient with the things she was seeing. Nothing she would ever consider wearing. Too much white, too fluffy and the models were about fifteen years old. She flicked the magazine shut and threw it across the room in frustration. Catherine looked up in surprise from her laptop, checking her emails and flight information for tomorrow. She'd never seen Ruth show irritation before.

"I thought it would be a good idea to look through the magazines to get a vague idea," Ruth said shaking her head. "Terrible."

"Go and have a look in a shop," Catherine said. "That's much more fun as you get to try on things," she added, her eyes alight with enthusiasm.

"Oh shopping," Ruth said frowning. "Not my favourite activity. And we haven't planned anything at all, maybe I should think of dresses later. After we've booked a church and set a date."

"No," Catherine said. "It's the best part. Look at dresses immediately."

"Maybe." Ruth looked unconvinced.

"Come on," Catherine said, grabbing Ruth's hand and dragging her out of the lounge. "We're going shopping."

"What? No, I'd rather just stay at home," Ruth said quickly.

"Dad!" Catherine called in the hall. Harry was reading today's paper at the kitchen table and he looked at his daughter confused. "I'm taking Ruth shopping. We're looking for a wedding dress."

"Under protest," Ruth grumbled half heartedly.

"Okay," Harry said, smiling. "Enjoy yourselves." Catherine went to find her purse and Ruth leaned over Harry's shoulder, kissing him softly.

"I doubt I'll find anything," she said. "But it seems I have no choice."

"Find a beautiful dress," he replied. "Although, to be honest I'd be pleased if you turned up in bin bags."

"I promise I will wear something more attractive than bin bags," Ruth said, smiling as Catherine came back. "I'll see you later." Ruth went out to the car.

"Cate," Harry hissed catching her attention as she tried to follow Ruth. "Try and persuade her on a white dress. She'll look beautiful, I know she will."

Catherine smiled. "I'll do my best." Harry smiled back as she went out to the car.

* * *

Walking along the high street, Ruth felt surprised with how comfortable she was in Catherine's company. They stopped outside a bridal shop and Ruth frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Its very… white and fluffy," Ruth said, scrunching her nose.

"You could at least go in," Catherine suggested. "It wouldn't hurt to look would it?"

"How come you're so keen on getting me a wedding dress?" Ruth asked.

"I love shopping," Catherine said, grinning. "Very little chance to do so in Iran. I'm making the most of it." Ruth smiled as they walked into the shop. There was no one else there, except for the shop assistant who had a fake plastic smile on her face.

"Morning!" she said brightly. "How can I help?"

"Reluctant bride," Catherine supplied, already looking through the displays of dresses.

"I'm not reluctant," Ruth said indignantly. "I just have no idea what type of dress I'd like." Ruth caught her eye on a huge meringue type dress in the window. "Although it would be nice to have a dress that doesn't stand up on its own. Not very me somehow."

"Well, feel free to look around," the assistant said. "We've got the changing rooms at the back of the shop. If you need a different size, or any help do get me." The assistant seemed to sense that Ruth would be more comfortable looking through the dresses on her own, and for that Ruth was grateful.

"Do you have any dresses that aren't white?" Ruth asked.

"In the back," the woman said, pointing at the section in question. Ruth followed her direction and when she saw them she immediately drew back. They were far too bright for what she wanted and she instantly knew they were wrong for her. She sighed. This was a waste of time. They had so much to do before she even thought of a dress. Booking a church. Finding the right church to start with. She shouldn't be caught up in the dress yet.

"Ruth?" Catherine called. She turned and saw the younger woman holding up a column ivory silk dress. It wasn't poofy and it wasn't too white and Ruth found that she actually liked it.

"That's not bad," she said, running her eyes over it. "I quite like it."

"Go and try it on," Catherine said, handing her the dress. "I'll keep picking out other options." Ruth didn't argue as Catherine was clearly in her element. She went through the back and began trying on dresses.

* * *

An hour or two later Ruth was amazed as they were driving back home. She'd found the perfect dress and it was nothing like she'd expected. It was pure white, strapless with a beaded bodice. The skirt flared out but not too much and it was "tea length." She loved it, much more than she had expected to. So much so that she'd bought it on the spot and it was now resting across the back seat of the car.

"That's a beautiful dress," Catherine said. "Dad'll love it."

"I hope so," Ruth said. "But its nothing like I thought. Its right though." Ruth suddenly turned left and Catherine looked at her confused.

"Where are we going?"

"I remember seeing a great church down here when we first moved," Ruth said.

"Harry was lost but he wouldn't admit it and we took a few wrong turns. I think it was down here."

"Okay," Catherine said, not arguing.

"Will you be back for Christmas?" Ruth asked.

"Probably not," Catherine admitted. "My mother was furious but I need to be over there. And I haven't mentioned it to dad yet either. He'll probably realise when I'm over there. His shouting powers will be limited when there's a thousand miles between us." Ruth smiled slightly. She paused as there was a wooden fingerpost at a turning. A hand painted wooden sign had an arrow to the right with the word "church" written on it. She followed the signs until she found an open gate and parked just inside it. At the moment the trees were almost bare, a few autumn leaves just hanging on but they would have formed a canopy of green in the summer, and it would be beautiful, Ruth could tell. The trees went right up to the church, and the gravel path curved around to the door, which was thick oak and beautiful.

Ruth took a moment but then gave the door a push and it opened with a creak. They both walked in to a very old church and Ruth loved it. She could just imagine what it would look like with flowers over the windows and the pews.

"Can I help you?" Ruth jumped as she hadn't seen anyone else in the church. Once common sense caught up with her she saw an old vicar at the front of the church.

"Oh, I'm sorry, the door was open," Ruth said. "I was just having a look around."

"We don't lock a church," the vicar said smiling. "Feel free to have a look. Are you thinking of anything? A wedding maybe?"

"Am I that obvious?" Ruth asked as Catherine chuckled.

"No, I was hoping," the vicar said smiling. "We haven't had a wedding here for more than four years."

"It's a beautiful church," Catherine said as she looked around. Ruth had to agree. She thought she'd found the perfect place.

* * *

Back at home Ruth carried her dress into the spare room. Catherine would only be here for another day, so she hung the dress up in the wardrobe before going downstairs and kissing Harry hello.

"Successful?" he asked with a smile.

"Yes," Ruth said eagerly. "Very. I've found… the perfect dress."

"She does look beautiful," Catherine agreed, switching the kettle on.

"I'm glad," Harry said.

"Now tell him about how presumptuous you were at the church," Catherine said grinning.

"Church?" Harry asked.

"I may have asked to be pencilled in for June," Ruth said tentatively. "I just found a lovely church. I can change it if you want me to, I just couldn't resist."

Harry's face broke into a wide grin and Ruth felt relieved. "You… you really want to marry me don't you?"

"Of course I do," she said, her face frowning in confusion. "I wouldn't have agreed otherwise." Catherine could sense she was in the way, so she grabbed her tea and left the kitchen as Harry pulled her into his arms.

"I love you," he whispered. "And you can book us into any church you like."

"Its beautiful," Ruth said. "It really is."

"What's your dress like?"

"You'll have to wait until June," Ruth said. "But it is white. And I think you'll like it."

"As long as you walk down that aisle to me, I don't care what you wear." Then he kissed her passionately and deeply. And it was a long time before either of them came up for air.

* * *

That night Ruth couldn't sleep. "Harry," she whispered, her hand trailing over his bare back. He smirked, knowing what she wanted but tried to hold out, at least for a little while.

"You said you didn't want to while Catherine was here," he reminded her, rolling over to face her.

"I know but we're newly engaged," Ruth said. "And I've had to suffer five days of enforced celibacy. And I bought my wedding dress today. I want you Harry." As she was speaking her fingertips trailed over his chest, slowly and erotically.

"God, and I always want you, you know that Ruth," he whispered. "But you'll have to be quiet."

"Are you implying that I have no self control?" Ruth asked indignantly. Before answering he rolled on top of her, pinning her to the mattress and entwining his hands with hers and watching her closely, a smile on his lips.

"Yes," he said simply. He kissed her very briefly. "Don't get me wrong, I usually love your lack of self control in bed with me." He kissed her jaw in between whispering in her ear in a low murmur. "I love how I can make you scream my name at a few touches. How I can make you beg for more. How when I squeeze your breasts or lick your…"

"Shut up!" Ruth hissed and he grinned wickedly at her. He brushed his lips against her neck as his hand swiftly went to her knickers and slipped inside.

"God, you do want me," he said, fingers playing over her. "You're so wet Ruth." Without waiting for her reply he pushed his finger inside her, and curled against her inner walls, quickly finding her G spot.

"Oh God," she breathed, her eyes closed.

"Shh," he whispered as he stroked her just the way she liked and her breathing became very heavy.

"I'm going to scream," she whispered desperately. He quickly covered her mouth with his, kissing her as he pushed her over the edge into an incredible orgasm. Her cry was swallowed by his lips and he only let her go when he was sure she was going to be quiet.

"Mm," Ruth said under her breath and Harry chuckled. He leaned over her and kissed her at the same time he pushed into her. Her breathing hitched but otherwise she didn't make a noise. They made love in complete silence and holding each other afterwards, neither had felt more content.

* * *

**I'm writing a bigger wedding than I ever have for these two (as I detest weddings I usually avoid it), and I hope its enjoyed when I get there! In the meantime please leave a review. :-)**


	26. Chapter 26

**Wahoo! Passed 200 reviews so thank you all so much. Enjoy!**

* * *

"I'm driving you to the airport." Harry spoke firmly and Catherine knew she had a battle on her hands.

"Dad its pointless. I've got a car rental, I'm returning it when I get to the airport. How will you get home?"

"I could follow in my car," Ruth suggested. "Then take Harry home."

"Oh what a fantastic use of petrol," Catherine said sarcastically. "Let me go on my own dad. I'm a big girl, I can manage."

"I don't like you going to the airport on your own," he said, but both women could tell he was buckling.

"I'll be fine," Catherine said. "Flying is the safest form of travel you know."

"Oh yes, I get that in my line of work all the time. Terrorists, hijacking, flying into buildings, engine problems, crashes…"

"Just what I need to hear before my flight," Catherine said, shaking her head and making Ruth laugh.

"Let her go on her own," Ruth advised. Harry glared at her and Catherine was going to interrupt but then she realised that Ruth's persuasion would be much more effective than her own. "Harry, she'll be fine. You know that. And even if the plane crashes, which it won't, will you taking her to the airport really help?"

"Filling me with confidence here," Catherine interrupted but neither really heard her.

Ruth was cradling his face and kissed him briefly. "I hate it when you're right," he grumbled. Catherine grinned as she checked her passport and tickets were in her bag, trying to ignore the looks passing between the other two.

"I'm off then," she said, car keys in hand. That brought Harry and Ruth out of their private reverie and Harry turned to her, hugging his daughter.

"You take care of yourself, yes?"

"Of course I will dad," she said to him honestly.

"Promise?"

"I'm not twelve, I'll be alright." Catherine let go of him and smiled. Then she turned to Ruth. "It's been great to meet you," she said. Then to Ruth's surprise she hugged her. "Look after him," she said, too low for Harry to hear. "He needs more looking after than he'll admit."

"I know," Ruth said smiling as she let the younger woman go. "Take care."

"I will," she said happily. "And I want an invite to the wedding too."

"Absolutely," Harry said. "Goodbye sweetheart." Catherine was smiling as she wheeled her case out of the house and got in her car. They heard the engine die away all too soon as the car went out of earshot and Harry sighed. But then he grinned boyishly at Ruth. "Do you want to make love on the kitchen table?"

"That sounds like an entertaining morning," she said, a blush on her cheeks. He pulled her close and kissed her slowly and longingly. She was a little surprised when he let her go, but all he did was lock the front door and pull the blinds in the kitchen.

"Where were we?"

* * *

Ruth held the phone in her hand, very anxious about the call she had to make. But it was about time she told her mother that she was getting married. It wouldn't get any easier the longer she left it. So she dialled the number and waited for the number to connect.

"Hello?"

"Hi mum, its Ruth," she said, hating how nervous she was.

"Oh Ruth!" she said loudly. "Oh, I haven't heard from you in ages, how are you?"

Slightly thrown by this overly friendly greeting, she stumbled over her words. "Hi… mum. I've got some… news for you."

"Oh?"

"I'm engaged. I'm… going to be getting married."

There was a loud silence across the phone line and Ruth waited for the diatribe to hit her. "Congratulations," she said coldly.

"Mum, don't be like that please," she said disappointed. "I'm happy."

"When's the wedding?" her mother said briefly. "Tomorrow, next week?"

"We're thinking June," Ruth replied, feeling her heart drop. "We haven't set a firm date yet."

"Oh," she said in a much different tone. "So this isn't just a call to tell me that you're eloping? And… that I'm not included?"

"No," Ruth said honestly. "We've not been engaged long. And of course you'll be invited. We don't see eye to eye because we're completely different people, but I want you at my wedding. I want to put the past behind us mum."

"Really?" she asked, and Ruth smiled at the emotion in her voice.

"Yes, I mean that," she replied. "I wanted… I mean if he wanted to, I'd like David to give me away. I don't think it'll be a good idea if he genuinely doesn't want to, but it's a thought. Obviously, I'd like dad to do it, but that's not an option. So if David wanted to…"

"I'm sure he'd be honoured," her mother interrupted quickly. "Thank you Ruth."  
Ruth smiled, feeling the gap between her and her mother being bridged slightly.

"Harry's a bit older than me, I'll just warn you. And he's been married before, but please don't judge him before you meet him."

"I won't," Elizabeth said. "Are you happy?"

"Yes," Ruth said. "Very happy."

"Good," she said firmly. "You never were a happy child, and that's all I wanted for you. Its why I sent you off to boarding school. I thought you might find some joy somewhere else. I want to see you happy."

"Thanks mum," Ruth said, and for some reason she felt tears building in her eyes. She'd been so convinced that her mother would criticise her choice and tell her that she was far too old to marry for the first time that it almost shocked her to hear encouragement. "I'll let you know when we've got a date."

"Thank you Ruth," she said, her voice choked. "David will be thrilled to walk you down the aisle, I know he will be."

"Okay then," Ruth said. "I have to go." This wasn't true but she didn't want to say anything which would risk breaking the fragile peace they had between them.

"Send me an invitation," Elizabeth said.

"I will. Bye." Ruth put the phone down and then burst into tears. A couple of minutes later Harry came in the door and found Ruth in tears in the lounge, the phone clutched in her hand. He had known that she was telling her mother about their engagement, which is why he'd left her alone. Harry knew their relationship was rocky at best. He felt his heart plummet and he pulled her into his arms, holding her close to his chest.

"Ignore her," he whispered into her hair. "We'll be happy, we both know that no matter what she said."

"Its not that," Ruth said, in between sobs. "She was really happy for me. I was expecting… disdain. Disappointment. I was prepared for that. Not for her to be happy."

Harry held her until her crying subsided. "I'm being silly."

"I've got a present for you," Harry said quietly. She frowned in confusion. Harry left the room and came back in with a cat basket and Ruth smiled.

"You didn't have to," she said, even as she opened the door and held the little black and white ball of fluff.

"You said you wanted a cat. So I got you one. Consider it an early Christmas present. I'd do anything to keep you happy."

"I am happy," she said, scratching the cat behind the ears as he looked around with wide eyes at his new home. "What's his name?"

"Kitten B," Harry said straight faced. "I got him from a re-homing centre so he doesn't have a name yet."

"Aw, little mite," Ruth said. Then she turned to Harry and kissed him. "You're an amazing man Harry Pearce, do you know that?"

"Yes," he said, making her laugh.

* * *

**I think I'll be skipping ahead to their wedding in the next chapter. Hope no one minds the gap in time.**


	27. Chapter 27

**This took an unexpected turn...**

* * *

**May 28th**

Harry and Ruth were sat on the sofa, cuddled up together and she was extremely comfortable as Harry stroked her hair. "So, our weddings all sorted then?"

"Yes," Ruth said. "Its all done. Except tomorrow I've got my seamstress coming over to alter my wedding dress and deliver my veil."

"You mentioned that your dress needs altering before," Harry said. "Is there something you need to tell me?"

"Hm?"

"Are you pregnant?"

"What? No," Ruth said sadly, "Not that it wouldn't be nice, but no I'm not. I'm actually having it adjusted the other way. I'm a bit thinner than when I bought it last Autumn."

"Oh," Harry said quietly. "I thought… never mind."

"Harry, it isn't going to happen," Ruth said surely. "We've had our run of luck. We're happy together and we're going to be married next week. That's enough. Any more and I think we're pushing it." Harry sighed and squeezed her hand tightly. "I'd love to be pregnant, but I can't see it happening."

"You never know," he said, kissing her forehead. "Don't lose hope."

"I'm not focusing on that anyway," Ruth said. "I'm going to be your wife in a weeks time. That's the main thing."

"I love you," he whispered, kissing her again. "Do me one favour. If you change your mind, can you please not leave me at the altar? Just… tell me beforehand."

"I'm not going to change my mind Harry," she said, shifting in his arms so she was facing him.

"Then it shouldn't be too much to promise should it?" She saw nervous apprehension in his eyes. "Please?"

"Okay, fine," she agreed. "I will not stand you up at the church, will that do?"

"Perfect," he said and she smiled.

"So tell me, where are we going on our honeymoon?"

"No."

"Harry…"

"No." He held her close even when he spoke firmly and harshly. "We agreed, you'd organise the wedding, and I'd arrange our honeymoon. Its working perfectly so why spoil it? You want a perfect wedding, that's fine. But I want a perfect honeymoon."

"Okay," Ruth said slowly. "But from the purely practical standpoint I need to know what to pack. The climate would be very useful to know. Jumpers and scarves and coats or… otherwise."

"Are you telling me you actually own a bikini?" Harry teased. "Oh, I might have to change the schedule and go somewhere with a beach."

"So we're not going to a beach?" Ruth said, jumping on the one clue to location he'd given her.

"Do you own a bikini?"

"No I don't. Where are we going?"

"No."

"I need to know if we're travelling to a Muslim country because I'll need to cover my head properly. I'll need to have long sleeves, so just give me a hint. Are we going to a Muslim country?"

Harry bit his lip, but didn't think that letting that slip would hurt too much. "No. We are not going to a Muslim country. And I swear to God that's all you're getting out of me until we get there."

"Well, that's better than the information I had before," she said happily, stroking Billy as the cat jumped onto her chest, purring loudly. All three of them jumped as the doorbell rang suddenly and Ruth got up.

"Don't move, I'll get it." Harry didn't need more persuasion so he let her go. However, he did move when she came back in the lounge with a surprise house guest. Graham. Both men watched each other anxiously while Ruth stayed silent. After a moment she left them to it but kept an ear out for any violence from the next room.

"I come in peace," Graham said in the awkward silence. "But Cate told me you… were getting married."

"We are," Harry said. The silence was overwhelming.

"You didn't invite me."

Harry sighed, feeling guilty because it was absolutely true. He hadn't wanted his son to make a scene on Ruth's special day, so he'd made the incredibly hard decision not to send him an invitation. After all, his son had made it clear that he didn't want to be involved with any of Harry's "tasteless affairs" as he'd embarrassingly pointed out years ago. Harry hadn't spoken to Graham in years, and he didn't know if Graham would even want to hear from him. So, much to his embarrassment he hadn't even tried.

"I'm sorry," Harry said honestly. "I didn't know if you'd want to be included."

"Cate's a bridesmaid and I don't even get an invitation?! I know we haven't spoken in years but I'm your son!"

"I wanted to invite you," Harry said. "So did Ruth, but I… I didn't want the disappointment of you saying no. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay," he said. "I work at a contractors. In Manchester. I'm doing okay, you know."

"That's all I wanted for you. I'm sorry, for the way I treated you. I'm sorry. I know I don't say it nearly often enough but I love you."

Graham smiled. "I wouldn't have caused a scene. No matter how much of a dick you've been in the past. I've grown up."

"Good."

"I know it took a while," Graham said.

"It did," Harry said. Both of them smiled slightly. "I'm sure Ruth would agree that you're more than welcome to come to our wedding if you want to. Its next Saturday. You could bring a guest if there's anyone you want to come. I don't want to fight with you."

"Really?" Graham asked floored. "Your fiancé would be okay with that?"

"Ruth would be delighted," he said with such sincerity that it was clear. Graham smiled slightly.

"And here I was ready to shout at you," Graham said. "Thanks. Dad." Without thinking about it too much Harry gave his son a hug which was awkward and uncomfortable, but was well received.

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" Harry asked. "We have a spare room, and Manchester's a long way from here."

"I was going to get a hotel," Graham said quietly.

"There is a good hotel down the road," Harry agreed. "But we're free. Stay. Please."

"Will…, Ruth was it? Will she mind?"

"No, she won't," Harry said. "Her dress is hanging in the wardrobe, but otherwise the room is completely empty."

"Okay. Thanks." Graham smiled slightly as Ruth opened the door with two mugs of tea.

"Do you take sugar?" she asked Graham kindly.

"No, thank you," he said. For the first time he really looked at this woman who was to become his stepmother. Catherine said she was both nice and unexpected, and that he should give her a chance. He intended to, which was why he was here in the first place. He wanted to build bridges with his family. And with the way Catherine talked, he'd have to at least try with his stepmother if he wanted to talk to his father again. Ruth looked very normal, and he wondered how she'd ever caught Harry's attention. The other notable thing was that she was a brunette, and he knew his father went for blondes, almost without exception.

"Its nice to meet you Graham," she said, smiling at him. "Finally," she added giving Harry a glare.

"You don't mind me staying?"

"Of course not," she said. "You'll always be welcome here. Won't he Harry?"

"Oh yes," he said promptly. "Of course."

* * *

That night Ruth couldn't sleep. She was beginning to get nervous about the wedding, which was silly as she knew without a doubt that this was the right thing for them. And she knew that Harry wouldn't change his mind either. And yet still she couldn't sleep. She went downstairs to make a hot chocolate, quietly so as not to disturb anyone and to her surprise found Graham in the kitchen, the cat on his lap.

"I didn't wake you did I?" he asked quickly.

"No," she reassured him. "I couldn't sleep."

"Nervous?" he asked with a boyish grin that reminded her of Harry.

"Actually yes," she said, scratching the cat behind the ears. "I'm surprised at myself, but I am. What's your excuse?"

"The cat was scratching at my door. I was thinking about what dad said earlier. I just came downstairs."

"What did Harry say?" Ruth asked curiously.

"That I could bring someone to your wedding," Graham said shyly.

"Oh, of course you can," Ruth said eagerly. "I'll call up the caterer tomorrow and yell at the fact they can't count and add two more meals. It'll be fine."

"Well, I'd like to bring someone but dad won't like it," he said firmly.

"Give Harry a chance," Ruth said slowly. "Even I can see that he's calmer now he doesn't work for MI5."

"I'm not sure… Its just… I think it might be a bad idea. And I don't want to cause a scene."

"What's his name?"

Graham stared at her speechless. "How… how did you know?"

"I guessed," Ruth said quietly. "Does Harry know?"

"No," Graham said. "I don't know how to tell him, and over the years its just been easier to avoid him. He's called James," he added after a moment. "I've been with him for about three years."

"Just a bit of friendly advice, if you want to bring him to our wedding, tell Harry a couple of days before. Give him a bit of time to get used to the idea."

"Very true," he said smiling.

"Does Catherine know? That you're…"

"Gay? Oh yes," Graham said easily. "It didn't come as any great surprise to her. I will tell dad. I just need to find the right moment."

"I know Harry loves you," Ruth said quietly. "That won't change because of who you're seeing."

"You're so nice," Graham said. "Why are you with him?"

"I love him," Ruth said simply. "He can be irritating, arrogant and he's far too bright in the mornings but I love him. Its that simple."

"I'll think about it Ruth," he said. "I really will. Can you not tell him about…"

"I won't say a word," she said sincerely. "Do you want a drink? I was going to make myself a hot chocolate."

"That sounds good," Graham said, smiling with relief as Ruth switched the kettle on.

* * *

**Even I didn't see that coming! What will Harry's reaction be? (I have no idea.) Thanks for the reviews so far, they make this so enjoyable to write, knowing that others are enjoying it too.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Glad everyone appreciated the direction I went in. I just let this write itself so I hope it came out okay. (P.S, I'd have had this up this morning but one of our guinea pigs escaped in our (very large) garden and we thought we'd lost him permanently. Three hours later he came squeaking out of the hedge and is now safe in his cage, never being let out again)**

* * *

The next morning Ruth was having her final fitting for her wedding dress, as well as her veil and shoes being delivered with her seamstress. This left Harry quite contentedly watching the cricket and talking to the TV when Graham came in. "Dad can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Go on, catch it!" he hissed at the TV. "Oh bloody useless English fielders. They dropped it! Even I could have caught that! Sorry Graham what did you say?"

"I need to talk to you." Something in his tone caught Harry's attention and he instantly muted the TV, even though it was the last day of the test match he'd been following all week.

"Tell me you're not on drugs again," Harry said urgently. "Please, they'll end up killing you! We'll get you to a rehab centre."

"No, no. I'm not on drugs," Graham said quickly. "Its nothing like that. But I do need to tell you something."

"I'm listening," Harry said apprehensively.

"This isn't easy for me to say, and I don't really know how to do this." Graham took a deep breath and Harry had sense enough to stay quiet. "I'm gay."

Harry closed his eyes and sighed a long heartfelt sigh as Graham felt his heart drop. "That's it?" Harry asked.

"What do you mean, is that it?"

"Well, in that brief moment I had visions you were going to tell me that you'd killed someone and were on the run from the police. That you wanted me to hack into the police system and delete some of their files and evidence so you wouldn't be put away for murder, or something horribly drastic like that. But if you're… gay, I at least won't have to ask Ruth to do some expert hacking because she's much better at it than me. And she's a moral woman so I'd have to talk her into it."

"Er… no," Graham said. "I haven't done anything illegal in quite a few years now."

"I didn't exactly expect that to come out of your mouth either though," he said slowly. "Are you happy?"

"Very," Graham said. "Please tell me you're alright with it. I know we've had our problems but I really need you to accept this. Please," he added in a small voice.

Harry smiled tightly at his son. Then he hugged him, much to Graham's surprise. "Do you… Are you okay with this?"

"Well, I'm surprised," Harry said. "I'm not going to lie, I'm a bit shocked but thank you. For telling me."

"I would like to bring someone to your wedding. If the offers still… good?"

"Oh yes," Harry said. "I meant it. I'll tell Ruth to call the caterer."

"Thank you," Graham said. "By the way, England have bowled Australia out," he added pointing at the TV. Harry whipped around, a grin on his face.

"Shame its too early for a whisky," he said as the volume returned. When Harry was alone he frowned trying to wrap his head around this new development.

* * *

That night when he was alone with Ruth in their bedroom, he was still trying to come to terms with Graham's news.

"I can't believe I didn't know," Harry said. "I'm the last one to know? You worked it out last night, Catherine knows and I bet he told his mother first."

"Oh yes, that's what's important," Ruth said sarcastically. "Getting one up on your ex wife. Not that your son confided in you. Albeit eventually. Its not an easy thing to tell a parent."

"How did I not see it?" He sounded merely confused, not angry, upset or disappointed. "I don't understand. I missed it for so many years?"

"You don't have to understand it," Ruth said softly. "You just have to accept it. It must have been incredibly difficult for him to tell you that."

"I know," he agreed fervently. "I'm not exactly an easy man to talk to." Ruth raised her eyebrow in agreement but didn't otherwise confirm it.

"I just…"

"Harry, you have to let it go," Ruth said quietly. "All Graham wants to know is that you love him, regardless of anything else."

"I do love him," Harry said. "Of course I do."

"Then tell him that," Ruth said firmly. "God Harry, your son being gay is no reflection on you, and you're so critical of everyone."

"I'm not critical," he said indignantly.

"Yes you are," she said, smiling. "If people don't fit in their neat little boxes you can't cope."

"I've never criticised you," he said, determined not to let it go.

"Yes you have," Ruth said surely.

"When?!"

"My first annual report," she replied swiftly.

"Ah. That was marked top secret, eyes only. You shouldn't have read it."

"I was your senior analyst for the best part of ten years, with people treating me like your secretary for at least three of them. I read it anyway."

"I couldn't make it sound like you were brilliant, they'd have taken you away to a different section. So I… toned my admiration down a bit," he said sheepishly.

"Miss Evershed is an adequate addition to the team," Ruth repeated parrot fashion even as Harry's fingers trailed up her bare spine. "However she has a tendency to drop files and mix papers up because of lack of attention. Her knowledge of ancient and English literature is second to none and has been instrumental in several cases…"

"See I said some nice things!" Harry interrupted.

"But," Ruth continued, ignoring him. "Her knowledge of the inner workings of the security services is severely lacking and limited. I would like to keep her on for another "trial period" of a year, to see if experience helps in her deficiencies." She glared at him for a moment.

"I can't believe you read that," Harry said in a whisper. "You were never meant to read that."

"I did."

"And remembered it word for word I'm horrified to discover," he said with a raised eyebrow. "I liked you," he said, knowing he had some explaining to do. "I wanted you more than I should have done. You worked for me, it was unprofessional. I was trying to make you sound worse than you were, but keep you on at the same time. I was… attempting to put my feelings out of the equation. Because you were good, and everyone knew it. Little did I know I'd end up married to you."

"No one in my entire professional career has ever called me adequate lacking or limited, let alone all three!" Ruth said loudly. "And I liked you then too," she added. "Rather disappointing though to have all my illusions and fantasies about you crashed in one simple paragraph."

"You fantasised about me?"

"Don't change the subject," Ruth replied, blushing.

"Oh God if I'd have known that, I'd have pinned you against my office wall and never let you go," he said in a low voice.

"Oh no, you're not going to get around me that easily," Ruth said, even as that voice turned her insides to mush. "You have to make this up to me. Adequate and lacking, I ask you."

"I'll make it up to you," he promised, his hand gliding to inappropriate places as she laughed.

Outside their bedroom Graham had been eavesdropping. Somehow knowing that his father was more worried about making up with his soon to be wife about some trivial insults years ago, rather than being disappointed in his son for being gay was extremely comforting. If Harry had been really concerned, there was no way on earth he'd be teasing Ruth right now. That told him all he really needed to know. His dad might find it difficult, but he was going to be accepted. So Graham tried to block his ears as he slept that night, a smile on his face.

* * *

**It might be the wedding next, I'm not sure. Please leave a review and let me know whether you liked or hated this! Thanks.**


	29. Chapter 29

It was the day before their wedding and Harry awoke first, as usual. This would be the last time that he would wake up next to his fiancé. She was going to a hotel tonight, so that he didn't see her before the wedding. Ruth had told him that she didn't want to risk any bad luck when Harry had scoffed. So the next time he woke up with her, with any luck, she'd be his wife. And he couldn't wait. Harry would have married her as soon as he proposed, but she had wanted a proper wedding. As she had never been married before he could understand that, and he wanted her to have a special day. But he didn't really care about the church and the cake and the dress. It meant nothing to him. However, making Ruth happy meant the world to him, so he'd happily marry her in a ceremony that she wanted.

He watched Ruth sleep and felt incredibly content. He knew she was naked under the duvet but he only felt a distant longing for her body. He simply wanted to look at her. In these moments in the early mornings he got to drink her in as slowly as he liked. And he appreciated every second of it. She was so astonishingly beautiful and why this woman wanted him was a mystery to him, but he didn't mind. He knew that she did want him, and that was the important thing. Her eyelashes were fluttering slightly but he knew she was miles from waking up properly from experience. So he kissed her forehead softly before he got up and had a shower.

* * *

A few hours later Harry was downstairs cooking breakfast when Ruth appeared in jeans and one of his old shirts, a smile on her face. Her skin was still slightly damp from her own shower and he thought that she had never looked more desirable. He turned back to the scrambled eggs so he wouldn't pounce on her and pin her to the kitchen table while he made slow and languorous love to her. "I thought I'd open a bottle of champagne to start celebrating our fast approaching marriage. I was waiting for you to get up."

"Its ten in the morning," Ruth said, a hint of criticism in her voice.

"And it's the day before our wedding," he countered. "And I don't know about you, but I'm not planning another one."

Ruth smiled at him and kissed his cheek as she got a bottle out of the fridge. Their fridge looked very much like an alcoholics with the amount of booze they were keeping there, but she refused to think about it. She handed the bottle to Harry as he plated up their breakfast and she got the glasses out of the cupboard. Harry poured them both a glass and then held her face softly. "To us," she said easily.

"To us," he repeated. Smiling they clinked their glasses together, and Harry's promptly shattered into a thousand pieces, scattering all over the floor and cutting his hand. "Please don't let that be an omen," he murmured.

"Don't move," Ruth ordered as she got the dustpan and the first aid kit to get the glass splinters out of his hand, leaving Harry standing helpless by the sink. She was back in a moment and quickly got the glass off of the floor before taking his hand in her own. "That's going to hurt."

"Its not deep," he said as she found some tweezers.

"No, I know, but it looks like a paper cut. Hurts more than it should do."

"Ow!"

"Don't move your hand," she repeated calmly, getting another splinter out.

"Well it hurts," he complained and hissed as she removed another bit of glass.

"It'll hurt more if I leave the glass in there," she said, concentrating. "Anyway, you've been shot. This can't be worse."

"Yes, well I wasn't conscious for very long and they gave me drugs for that," he said darkly.

"Are you comparing a cut on your hand to a gunshot that nearly perforated your lung?" Ruth asked with a raised eyebrow. Harry smiled bashfully at her but stayed silent. "Try and eat your scrambled eggs left handed while I do this." Harry ignored that, instead focusing on her face. She was close to him with her eyes looking down. He could see every movement of her eyelashes and every contour of her face. A small drip of water was working its way down her neck and under the collar of her shirt. He could see the slight movement of her pulse and all of a sudden he wanted her desperately.

"I think that's it," Ruth said, putting a plaster on his hand. When she'd finished, he pulled her body to his, her back to his chest. She turned to face him a moment after feeling his erection against her bum.

"Does breaking glass turn you on?" she asked with a smile of amusement.

"No you do," he said firmly, kissing the back of her neck while smelling her hair. He pulled her tight against him and she could feel her own arousal starting from how much he clearly wanted her. The scrambled egg was ruined and the bacon was going cold but she didn't care. Sod breakfast, all she wanted was him. Just as she was about to turn and tell him this, the doorbell rang and he groaned.

"We have to answer it," she whispered, disappointed. "Everyone's driving here for the wedding tomorrow."

"I know," he said. "You answer the door and I'll get myself… straightened up."

"A cold shower might do the trick," she teased as she hurried to answer the door and she heard Harry going upstairs.

Opening it, she was a little pleased and a bit anxious to see her mother and David standing there. She gave her mother a hug as it had been a long time since she'd seen her and smiled at her stepfather.

"You're down early," she said as she moved aside and let them in.

"David wanted to get a head start," Elizabeth replied. "How are you?"

"Nervous, excited, happy. I feel everything," Ruth said honestly.

"Cold feet?" her mother asked sitting in the kitchen.

"No," she said honestly. "I'm worried about the weather because we have an outdoor marquee for the reception, and I'm abnormally worried that there will be something wrong with my dress, but cold feet? No. Do you want a drink?"

"Coffee please," David said.

"I'll have champagne if you're starting early," Elizabeth said, noticing the mostly full bottle. Ruth smiled and poured four glasses, waiting for Harry to come back downstairs. It wasn't long before he emerged, looking unruffled and easy going much to Ruth's private amusement.

"You must be Harry," Elizabeth said, giving him the once over, her eyes running from head to toe.

"And you must be Ruth's mother. I'm delighted to meet you," he said politely.

Elizabeth shook his hand and smiled at him. Ruth breathed a sigh of relief as clearly her mother wasn't starting with criticism and giving Harry a chance. Harry seemed to sense this too and he smiled at David who was sipping champagne behind his wife. Harry shook hands with him too, and over the next twenty minutes or so there were several awkward silences.

When the doorbell rang again Ruth jumped up to answer it gratefully. A beaming Catherine appeared holding a bag with presumably her bridesmaid dress in it. "Hiya!" she said almost bouncing. "Bringing my dress for approval," she added as she went through to the kitchen. She paused seeing a full house before hugging her dad. But the ice was broken and conversation broke out between them. After a while it was no longer forced or stilted and Ruth was immensely enjoying the company of her family.

* * *

**Thanks for the reviews so far, hope this is keeping up to standards. If you have a chance please leave a review, and I'll get the next chapter up as soon as its written. By the way, between 1st and 8th of November I'm in Greece so I won't be updating at all. Sorry to disappoint. :)**


	30. Chapter 30

**Thanks for all the reviews! I've put a new HR video on youtube if anyone wants to see it. Called Breathe, telling the story of Harry and Ruth in four and a half minutes. (Link on my profile)**

**Reminder that this is M rated, and I hope its not too boring with all the wedding preparation.**

* * *

"I'm going," Ruth said quietly. Harry looked up from the TV even though he wasn't really watching it and saw Ruth standing in the door frame, her suitcase already packed. He hated the fact she was going to spend tonight in a hotel.

"Its only two in the afternoon," he said standing up.

"I know, but some of my old school friends have arrived and they want to meet me. Its just easier if I go to the hotel now, because then I don't have to worry about it later."

"That means I won't see you for twenty four hours," he complained.

"You'll live," she said shortly and he glared at her. She instantly felt a little harsh so she walked a couple of steps to him and cradled his face softly. "I meant we're going to spend the rest of our lives together. Will one day really hurt?"

"That's better," he said smiling crookedly at her. "But I'd still like you here when Graham and…"

"His boyfriend," Ruth supplied with a smile.

"Come over," Harry finished. "I don't want to screw up. I don't want to say anything… stupid."

"Just think before you speak," Ruth suggested. He could see that she was running over her plans for the day, trying to be here with him when Graham arrived with James. "I… could rearrange some things," she said slowly. "If you want me to be here?"

"No, don't be silly," he said. "I'll be fine."

"Just don't grill him," Ruth said. "And then it'll all be fine. And tell Malcolm I said hello when he arrives."

"I will," Harry said firmly. Then for the first time he really looked at her. She still wore her jeans, but she also had a black short sleeved top on, revealing her arms and showing a hint of her breasts and he swallowed.

"Don't look at me like that," she said swiftly, reading his mind.

"I can't help it," he whispered. "You're gorgeous." Ruth licked her now dry lips just before he leaned in for a quick but passionate kiss. When he let her go she was breathless and not a little amazed that he could still make her feel like this. His hands slipped under the hem of her top and caressed her waist as he kissed her neck.

"Harry…"

"We'll be quick," he whispered. "I promise." His fingers had reached her bra and slipped under the lace. He squeezed her nipples hard, making her moan and her reservations vanish. She reached for him and kissed him deeply as he pushed her against the wall. While lip locked he unbuttoned her jeans and hurriedly pushed them down as she did the same to him. She squeezed his bum, pulling him against her and he groaned at the feeling.

"Ruth, I need you," he said desperately into her hair.

"Oh!" was her only response as he pressed his hand over her centre. Her knickers soon joined her jeans around her ankles and his fingers played over her expertly.

"Christ…" she whispered, head against the wall and her eyes closed. "No don't!" she cried out as he rubbed her clitoris exquisitely. "I need you inside me when I come. Please Harry…"

Not being one to ever deny her he quickly pushed into her, feeling her muscles contract around her as she sighed in contentment. He kept pushing into her over and over again, touching her and kissing her exactly as she liked. He wanted her to hold on to this memory during their day apart. "…Ruth…" he whispered in a broken voice. He could say nothing else except her name repeatedly.

"Oh!" Ruth called out as she climaxed. He followed suit a few seconds later. When he opened his eyes he saw Ruth watching him, happiness and satisfaction over all her face. Their whole tryst had lasted less than five minutes and they pulled themselves back into respectability.

"You'll be missing all that if you don't marry me tomorrow," Harry said quietly.

"Do you really think I'm not going to turn up tomorrow?" she asked, running her hand through his hair.

"I go through stages," he admitted. "Sometimes I think that it'll all be… wonderful tomorrow. Perfect. Then sometimes I worry about what you see in me and I think that you'd have to be crazy to commit yourself to me."

"I love you," Ruth said honestly. "That's it. Its that simple. The only way I won't be walking up the aisle is if I break a leg between now and then."

"Don't even joke about that," Harry said in a low voice. She smiled and kissed him again.

"I'll be there. I can't wait to be your wife, and I'm desperate to know where we're going on our honeymoon. You think I'd miss that?"

"Probably not," Harry said with a smile. "You should get going."

"After that goodbye I don't know if my legs will work," she teased. "I'll see you tomorrow." She kissed him deeply and they only broke apart when the doorbell rang. Ruth blushed, as if anyone who saw her would read what had just happened in her face. Well, they will if you look red faced she told herself. Harry smirked as he left her and answered the door.

"Malcolm!"

"Best man reporting for duty," he said with a lopsided smile.

"Come in," Harry said happily. He did and he saw Ruth's suitcase first and frowned.

"You're not leaving him are you?" he asked Ruth, a worried look on his face.

"No, I'm going to our hotel. I have to meet a couple of friends," Ruth said. "Its so good to see you," she said, giving Malcolm a hug. "I haven't seen you in so long."

"I did have one thing to say to you both though," he said. "About bloody time."

Ruth smiled at her fiancé. "Never a truer word spoken. Malcolm, do me a favour. Try and convince Harry that I'm not going to stand him up tomorrow." Harry scowled at her. Ruth kissed him briefly. "See you tomorrow. Bye Malcolm." Ruth got in her car as Malcolm closed the door behind her.

"You're not worried are you?"

"Yes I am," he replied heavily. "I proposed to her before and she said no. I am worried."

"Lets have a drink and you can tell me all about it," Malcolm said. "And then I'll tell you what an idiot you are."

"Perfect," Harry said. "Whisky?"

"Why not?"

* * *

"She will be there," Malcolm said about an hour later. "I guarantee it. She hasn't organised this wedding just to walk out on you at the last minute."

"Brides get cold feet though," Harry said quietly. "What if…"

"Stop it Harry," Malcolm said firmly. "You're not usually irrational."

"I don't usually have anything to lose," he countered. "Not like this." Malcolm knew that anything he said wouldn't make a difference so he picked up yesterday's paper and caught up on the sport news while they sat in companionable silence.

* * *

It was nine in the evening and Graham still hadn't arrived. Harry was beginning to get a little worried about his son, so he called him. It was just about to go through to answer phone when his son answered. "Yep?"

"Hi, its your dad. I was just wondering where you were."

"I foolishly let James drive," Graham said. "We've taken about seven wrong turnings."

"You don't like driving for long journeys," Harry heard James say. "I was just trying to save you the hassle."

"Well, I'd have liked to have been there by midnight," Graham said good naturedly and Harry could tell they weren't really arguing.

"I was just worried," Harry said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Don't worry about me," Graham said easily. "Worry about whether Ruth will turn up in her white dress."

"I am," Harry said with such brutal honesty that there was an awkward pause on the phone line.

"Dad, I didn't mean… I just…"

"What does she want with me?" Harry asked quietly. "I have so much history and she's so beautiful. I am in two minds as to whether she'll show up."

"Don't be thick," Graham said, trying to keep things light. "I've never heard you sound insecure before."

"She's staying in a hotel, leaving me to worry alone," Harry said. "I shouldn't be talking to you about this anyway. Just drive safe."

"We'll be there in the morning," Graham said. "I'm actually glad you'll be distracted when James comes over."

"Sorry, but your boyfriend is not going to be my first cause of concern tomorrow," Harry said. He didn't expect to be this nervous about his forthcoming wedding.

"That sounds perfect," Graham said fervently. "I'm glad you'll be distracted."

"See you tomorrow," Harry said.

"Bye."

* * *

Ruth unlocked her hotel room that night feeling both happy and nervous about tomorrow. She'd been out with some of her old school friends she hadn't seen since she moved to London and it had been wonderful to catch up. She'd only had a couple of glasses of wine and she was relatively clear headed. She didn't want a hangover for her wedding.

In her room she admired her dress and couldn't wait to wear it. Harry would love her in it. It made her look like she had a thin waist and, while trying to be modest, she did look beautiful in it. Her veil and tiara were in a box and her shoes were in the wardrobe. She checked everything was ready for tomorrow and then she tried to get some sleep. But it wasn't easy.


	31. Wedding Day

**Warning of swearing near the end of this chapter. Happy wedding day to Harry and Ruth...**

* * *

The next morning Ruth awoke to her mobile phone ringing. She rolled over in bed and grabbed it, answering the call with a groggy hello.

"Morning wife of mine," Harry said in a low voice.

"Mm, not for a few more hours," she said, smiling. "Good morning."

"Did I wake you?" he asked concerned.

"Yes but I have to be up anyway so don't worry," Ruth said quickly. The clock said eight in the morning and she had to have her hair and make up done, get a shower and eat breakfast before her car showed up at eleven thirty. "With all my careful preparation, I forgot an alarm clock. How are you? Sleep well."

"No," he said, not even trying to lie. "I was struggling without you there next to me to be honest."

"How was James?"

"I haven't met him yet," Harry said. "They were late driving down so they're going to come over this morning instead. What are you wearing?"

"You want to get a picture of me in your mind don't you?" she asked lightly.

"Yes." Not even hiding it.

"Okay," she said smiling. "I'm in my knickers and an old T shirt with my black PJ shorts, will that do?"

"Which T shirt?"

"The grey one with the fraying hem," Ruth supplied. She loved that T shirt and was avoiding throwing it out until it really fell apart. On nights when she and Harry didn't have sex she usually slept in it because it was so comfortable.

"Mm," he said, swallowing as that image of her remained in his mind.

"How long have you been up?"

"About three hours," he admitted. "At around five I gave up and started making breakfast.

"At five o'clock?" Ruth asked bewildered. "You can't do that when we're married Harry, I'll go insane."

"I won't," he promised and she knew he was grinning.

"I like having a good morning call from you," she said.

"It'll be the only one you ever get," Harry said. "I plan on waking you up personally every day from now on."

"I like that plan," she said with a smile. There was a knock on Ruth's hotel room door and she got out of bed with a sigh. "It'll be Catherine. I asked her to wake me up." Ruth unlocked the door and she was right. Catherine was dressed casually and she was beaming. She loved weddings, as was becoming increasingly apparent.

"Well, I'll leave you alone to wake up properly," Harry said. Before she could reply Catherine had grabbed the phone.

"Dad, you need to stop talking so we can make Ruth look beautiful."

"She's already beautiful," Harry said instantly. "But I was going to leave her to it anyway. I love you dearly but can I say goodbye to my future wife?"

"Love you too dad," Catherine said before giving Ruth the phone.

"I apologise for my daughters rudeness," Harry said instantly. "I love you."

"I know," Ruth said happily. "I love you too. See you at the church."

"Will you really…"

"See you at the church," she repeated firmly. "I will be there."

"Okay," he said, hiding his nerves. "See you later." Ruth put the phone down and smiled at her soon to be step daughter.

"You don't look nervous at all," Catherine observed.

"Your father is," Ruth countered. "He thinks I'm going to back out."

"Why?"

"Because he's being irrational, and he's always stubborn and convinced he's right so he won't change his mind. Its not a good combination."

Catherine rolled her eyes happily. "Do you want to get started on your hair?"

"No, I'm having my breakfast first," she said firmly. "I'm not getting ready on an empty stomach."

"Fair enough," Catherine said. "I… I have something I'd like you to wear today. If you want to that is." Ruth nodded and Catherine got a silver bracelet out of her pocket and handed it over. Ruth looked at it and was touched. It had several light blue stones over it and she wondered why Catherine was giving it to her.

"It could be your something borrowed," Catherine said with a shrug. "You don't have to wear it."

"Shit," Ruth said quietly. "I completely forgot about something old, new, borrowed and blue."

"Well its blue too," Catherine said trying to head off any panic that might be settling in. "And... your dress is new, so you just need something old."

"My pearl earrings," Ruth said after a moment, sighing with relief. "They were my grandmothers. Oh, I'm okay then. Trying not to lose my mind for a few seconds there. I'd be honoured to wear it. If you won't mind?"

"You make my dad happy," she said. "I'd love you to wear it." Ruth hugged the younger woman tightly.

"Thank you Catherine."

* * *

Harry was debating getting dressed in his suit, but logically he knew it was too early. He was distracted by a knock on the door. It would be one of two people, Malcolm, or Graham and James. He didn't much have a preference but he managed a smile when he saw his son and James, both in suits. "Come in." They both followed him through to the kitchen where Harry switched the kettle on out of habit.

"You must be James," Harry said, shaking his hand. "Its nice to meet you. I'm sorry I'm a bit… out of it today."

"You're nervous," Graham observed.

"Yes."

"I've never seen you nervous," Graham said eagerly as if this was on the same level of rarity as seeing a flying unicorn.

"Thanks for inviting me to your wedding Mr Pearce," James said.

"Oh call me Harry," he said quickly. "Mr Pearce makes me feel like I'm back at work. And you're welcome." Harry studied James for the first time since he'd come in and immediately noticed that he had a confident air about him. Much like Adam used to. He seemed easy going and charming, even just in their brief meeting.

"What do you do James?" Harry asked politely.

"I'm a journalist," he said and Harry couldn't help from rolling his eyes in disdain.

"Dad!"

"Sorry," he said. "I used to work for the government and we didn't have much time for journalists. Rather caused a lot of problems for us. But I'll try and put that aside."

"Thank you," James said. "We are a horrible bunch of people though, I'll agree with you there."

"Mm," Harry muttered under his breath making the other two smile. "How long have you been together?"

"About three years," James said and Graham flinched under his father's gaze.

"Three years?" Harry asked with an icy edge to his voice.

"That's not directed at you," Graham said to James.

"No its not," Harry agreed, glaring at his son. "Three years."

"Dad, can we not get into this now? Please?" Graham said. At that moment Malcolm poked his head around the door frame of the kitchen, already dressed in his suit.

"You left your door unlocked," he criticised.

"We're not in London any more," Harry said, smiling at his friend. Graham was grateful for Malcolm's appearance. At the very least it had taken the focus off of himself. "Its good to see you."

"You should get dressed," Malcolm said. Harry ignored this for the time being and found a velvet box in the kitchen drawer. He gave it to Malcolm who smiled.

"Take care of the rings for us," Harry said. "I'll kill you if you lose them."

"I won't lose them," Malcolm said stowing the box in his pocket carefully. "Get dressed. Ruth won't marry you if you're still in jeans."

Harry nodded once before turning back to Graham and James. "Its been nice to meet you. Help yourself to anything you find in the fridge, I don't care."

James grinned at Harry easily as he left to get changed.

* * *

"Okay, what do you think about that?" her hairdresser asked. Ruth looked in the mirror, pleased. Her make up had already been done earlier and her hair was half tied up, but the rest of it was in soft curls around her face. Her hair had never looked so glossy and she loved it.

"I think its beautiful," Ruth said honestly.

"Good," her hairdresser said. "Then I'll pin your tiara in and hairspray you." Ruth nodded happily as the woman continued. Suddenly the door opened and looking in the mirror Ruth saw her mother walk in. Ruth turned and smiled at her.

"You look beautiful," Elizabeth said. "Really."

"Thanks mum," Ruth said, smiling.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked.

"What? Marry Harry?" Ruth asked blankly. "Of course I do. I've loved him for ten years. I'm not backing out now."

"Just checking," Elizabeth said smiling. "You look happy."

"I'll be happier when I'm at the church," Ruth said nervously. "I want to see Harry." Elizabeth smiled at her and saw what was clearly her wedding dress, hanging in a white bag on the front of the wardrobe.

"Can I have a look?"

"Yeah, of course." Ruth said, keeping still as the finishing touches were done to her hair. Elizabeth unzipped the bag and looked at the very white dress.

"And here I thought you'd go for something untraditional," Elizabeth said, taking in the whiteness and the beading on the corset.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes," Elizabeth said.

"I'm not sure if the flowers have been delivered to the church," Ruth said. "I was going to check yesterday but I got distracted.

"David's there at the moment," Elizabeth replied. "He's checking everything's okay before coming back here.

"Good," Ruth said.

"You're about done," the hairdresser said, stepping back from her handiwork. Ruth smiled and put her jewellery on as the hairdresser packed her things up and left. Ruth's eyes caught on her engagement ring and she was so excited and expectant. She couldn't wait.

"Help me do up my dress?" Ruth asked. There was silence so she turned and saw her mother trying not to cry. "Mum?"

"I'm so proud of you Ruth," she said with difficulty.

"Don't make me cry, I'll ruin my make up," Ruth said.

"Lets get you in your dress then," Elizabeth said. Ruth nodded eagerly.

* * *

Ruth came out of her hotel room, her hair and make up perfect, her dress on and her nerves at breaking point. Catherine, David and Elizabeth were waiting for her downstairs. When David saw her, his face lit up and he smiled at her. "Harry doesn't deserve you. You look like a princess."

"Thank you," Ruth said, trying not to cry. She was so looking forward to this and couldn't believe her dreams were coming true at last. She leaned forward and gave her stepfather a brief hug.

"You do look beautiful," Elizabeth agreed.

"Is the car here?" Ruth asked.

"Waiting out the front," David said.

"I don't want to be late," she said, heading out the door.

"Aren't brides always late?" Catherine asked, following her in her tasteful peach coloured bridesmaid dress and holding Ruth's small bouquet as she got in the car.

"Brides might be late, but I'm not going to be one of them," Ruth said, taking her bouquet back as Catherine and Elizabeth got in next to her, David taking the front passenger seat. "Harry is already thinking I'm going to change my mind, so I'm not going to be late. He'll panic."

"Are we ready Miss?" the driver asked.

"I think I am," Ruth said, smiling as the car pulled away from the hotel.

* * *

Harry stood in the church, waiting for his bride with increasing trepidation. He was terrified she was going to change her mind. Realise she could do much better than an ageing retired spook. He'd been half thinking it since they'd got engaged, but his fears were multiplied at this moment in time.

"Don't worry," Malcolm said. "She'll show up Harry. I promise you."

"Why would she?" Harry said quietly. "She's so intelligent and beautiful, what would she want with me?"

"Because she loves you," Malcolm said. "I've never seen more love between two people than I do when I look at the two of you. She will be here."

"I know," Harry said, sighing as he began to pace back and forth. "But she's late."

"Only by a couple of minutes," Malcolm said. "I've never seen you like this. Facing terrorists, diplomatic meltdowns and kidnapping. I've never seen you this nervous."

"I don't think I've been this nervous since Graham was born," he admitted. "Come on Ruth. Hurry up."

* * *

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Ruth shouted at the driver.

"Calm down Ruth," Catherine said, but she didn't look happy either.

"What can we do?" David asked the driver.

"I'm not an engineer or a mechanic, I can't fix the car," the driver said. "The engines just gone and the stupid thing won't start."

"What. Can. You. Do!" Ruth said, trying not to shout and remain calm. She had a church to get to.

"I can call and get a replacement car, or get the AA to try and fix it, but it'll take up to an hour for them to get here. We're in the middle of nowhere."

"I realise that," she said bitterly. "How far away are we?"

"About two miles from the church," the driver said. "I'm sorry."

"Oh and what a fat lot of good that is!" Ruth said tartly. "Someone give me a phone." David put a hand in his jacket pocket and gave her a mobile phone. She dialled Harry's number but it went straight through to voice mail so he couldn't have it with him. Think Ruth, think. Who should she call? _Malcolm_. But the trouble was she couldn't remember his number. Straining the back of her memory she dialled what she hoped was his number and it started ringing.

"Yes?"

"Oh Malcolm, great," Ruth said quickly. "I am on my way, I know I'm late."

"What's happened?"

"My car's broken down. I have every intention of being there, I know Harry's probably going through hell right now but I have no way of getting to the church. I can't walk two miles in these shoes. I'll be hobbling up the aisle."

"I'll come and get you," Malcolm said. "I'm going to give the phone to Harry, and I'll see you in a bit." There was muffled noise on the line and then she heard Harry.

"Ruth?"

"I know I'm late, I'm so sorry. My fucking car's broken down. Please, this doesn't mean anything. I want to be there desperately and Malcolm's going to pick me up. I hate that I'm doing this to you, I'm so sorry."

"Don't cry," he said, sensing that tone in her voice. "I'm sure you look beautiful and crying isn't going to do any good. You haven't changed your mind?"

"No! Of course I haven't. I wanted to be early and I left in plenty of time. But the stupid car, God…"

"I know you've said it, but please promise me you're going to turn up," he asked. She could hear his nervousness and apprehension and she thought it was the least she could do for him.

"Harry, I love you. I promise you, I will be there as soon as physically possible. I've been waiting for this day for months. Well, years really. I will be there. I promise."

"Good," Harry said, breathing a sigh of relief. "Malcolm will be there soon. I'm sure. I love you."

"Love you too. See you in the church."

"Bye."

Ruth handed the phone back to her stepfather and sighed. "Hurry up Malcolm."


	32. I take you to be my wife

**Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter. I hope I've done justice to their wedding, even though I've skipped the boring bits of a wedding. And the car was simply broken down. Nothing worse!**

* * *

It didn't take long for Malcolm's car to pull up beside theirs, but to Ruth it felt like an eternity. She'd been fiddling with her engagement ring mercilessly until he arrived. "Oh thank God," Ruth said, getting out of the car, at the same time Malcolm did.

He looked at her, speechless for a moment as she straightened her dress. "Ruth, you… you're a vision," he said.

"Good enough for him?" she asked, biting her lip.

"No, far better than that," Malcolm replied. "Get in."

"Thanks for this," Catherine said squeezing in between Ruth and Elizabeth as David took the front seat.

"I'm saving Harry from a coronary," he said as he switched the ignition on. "He looks nervous."

"Really?" Catherine said.

"He's convinced I'm going to stand him up," Ruth said surely.

"Is he an idiot?" Malcolm asked and Ruth smiled.

"Yes," Ruth and Catherine said in unison. Everyone in the car smiled as Malcolm hurried to the church.

* * *

Logically Harry knew there was a perfectly valid reason for Ruth to be late, but it didn't make him any less anxious. He wished Malcolm were still here, because he was good at talking him down. Malcolm was perfect in a crisis. A crisis which Harry hoped wouldn't develop.

"Dad, what's going on?" Graham asked. Harry hadn't even noticed that his son had joined him at the front of the church.

"Ruth's car's broken down," he said shortly. "She'll be here. Malcolm's gone to pick her up." In normal circumstances Graham would have teased his father, but even he could see that his father wasn't in a jovial mood. So he said nothing critical.

"She'll be here soon."

"Thanks," Harry said smiling tightly, well aware of what his son had been thinking. Graham sat back down and the whole church was waiting for the bridal party.

* * *

Harry turned quickly as Malcolm and Elizabeth came into the church. Neither looked upset so Harry took comfort from that. "She's straightening her veil," Malcolm said.

"She'll be in in a minute."

"Good," Harry said relieved.

"She looks… amazing," Malcolm said smiling.

"I don't doubt it," Harry said. Suddenly the bridal march started playing and Harry turned around as everyone else stood up, facing the door, unable to even describe how he was feeling. But then Ruth came in the building, a vision in white. And he stopped feeling nervous. As she came closer he could see the radiant smile on her face even through her very thin veil. He barely took note of David clasping her hand, all he saw was her.

"You look beautiful," Harry said.

"Thank you," she said, smiling. "You weren't worried were you?"

"No," he lied easily. She laughed slightly as if knowing what he was thinking. Neither of them heard what the priest was saying. Neither really cared. They kept looking in each others eyes, so happy that they were finally here. Harry started when the priest said his name and she realised that he was meant to be saying his vows.

"I, Henry James Pearce, take you Ruth Evershed to be my lawful wedded wife. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health. To love and to honour and to cherish unconditionally. Forsaking all others, I will be faithful to you. And with this ring, I thee wed." He smiled at her for a moment, before taking the ring from Malcolm and slipping the plain gold band on her finger, where it rested against her engagement ring. She squeezed his hand once before remembering that it was her turn for her vows.

"I, Ruth Evershed, take you Henry James Pearce to be my lawful wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. To love and to honour and to cherish unconditionally. Forsaking all others, I will be faithful to you. And with this ring, I thee wed." Ruth held his hand gently and placed the ring on Harry's finger. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said, grinning like a loon.

"You have pledged your love by the giving and receiving of rings," the priest said. "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

"Finally," Harry said, smiling. He lifted her veil and kissed her deeply as everyone burst into applause. It was a longer kiss than it probably should have been in public but neither of them cared. When they broke apart, they were both smiling at each other. Ruth's eyes were filled with tears and she brushed them aside carefully. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm so happy," Ruth said. He cradled her face softly and gave her a brief peck on the lips before the priest motioned them through to sign the marriage licence. Very quickly they both did, not wanting to draw it out. When Ruth added her name below Harry's he turned to her, grinning.

"You're my wife," he said happily.

"Less of the "my" Harry," she said critically.

"I don't care," he said. "I'm possessive, overbearing and you're mine."

"I should be offended but oddly enough that makes me happy," Ruth said. She reached up for him and kissed him deeply. The kind of kiss they had both become all too familiar with. And if they hadn't been in a church they knew exactly where this would lead. A polite cough from behind them brought them to their senses and they were giddily happy as they walked out of the church together. There were familiar faces in the crowd. Dimitri, Erin (who seemed to be together), Malcolm was grinning easily, Graham and James were smiling too and Catherine seemed happy too. It was a good day.

* * *

Everything went perfectly throughout their reception. Better than Ruth could have hoped. And the British weather played ball too, which was a relief as they had an outside reception.

Harry and Ruth took to the dance floor for their first dance and Ruth wondered what song was about to play. Harry had picked it without telling her. She wondered if secrecy would be a common factor in their marriage. Honeymoon being a prime example. But then could two former spooks even exist without any type of secret? She pushed that aside. She was not going to ruin her wedding day with pointless negative thoughts. "The way you look tonight" started playing and Ruth smiled at her husband as they started swaying to the music gently.

"I love you," she said truthfully. He smiled at her and felt warmth go through him as she leaned her head against his chest. He held her close and never wanted to let go.

* * *

Elizabeth and David were watching from the other side of the room. "Do you think it would be inexcusable if we went back to the hotel?" David asked.

"No, I don't think so," she said, putting her empty glass on a passing tray. "I'll wait until the end of this song and then say our goodbyes. They've been dancing for hours."

"What are you thinking?" David asked her.

"He's not the type of man I'd have chosen for my daughter. Far from it. But she seems happy. So I don't really have cause to complain. Her father should have been here today."

"I know," David said. "I hope I was a good stand in?"

"Yes," Elizabeth replied, squeezing his arm. "I know Ruth misses him. That's all. But you were a very good stand in." David kissed her forehead lightly.

"They look happy," he said. "Don't worry."

"She's my only child, of course I'll worry," she said. "But not too much. We need to say goodbye." So they left after saying their goodbyes to the happy couple. And Elizabeth wasn't abnormally worried about her daughters new marriage.

* * *

Several hours later Ruth's feet were killing her from dancing so long but she was happy. She took her heels off and became suddenly shorter by a couple of inches as Harry watched. "I'm thinking maybe we should head back to our hotel," Harry said. "I got so little sleep last night, I'm about to close my eyes just standing here." Ruth smiled and nodded. She was quite tired too. Looking around the marquee she saw that most of their guests had gone home, leaving just a few people who'd indulged so much in alcohol that they would barely remember anything in the morning anyway. So Ruth gripped Harry's hand as they left, and she didn't even bother to put her shoes back on.

* * *

Ruth sat at the dressing table in her hotel room and slowly took her jewellery off, keeping Catherine's bracelet to one side to return to her stepdaughter. Harry had taken his jacket off but nothing else and collapsed on the bed. "I don't know about you but my feet are killing me," she said

"Well you were the one who kept dancing," Harry said as he relaxed on the bed. "But it was a very good day. In spite of the bride being unpardonably late."

"Not my fault," she said smiling as she started to take her make up off, looking at her reflection critically. "I'd have walked to the church if I had no other option. I was going to be there."

"Good," Harry said and she could tell from the tone in his voice that he was tired. She felt slightly relieved that he sounded tired because she personally was exhausted. She hadn't slept well the night before either.

"Harry, I know that we're supposed to have sex tonight but I'm exhausted. Would you be horribly offended if we shelve it until tomorrow?" There was no response and she bit her lip, wondering if she'd really hurt him, so she turned to face him and then smiled. He was fully dressed and he'd fallen asleep. She looked at her husband with deep affection as she saw the gold ring glinting in the light and didn't know if she'd ever been this happy. She slipped out of her wedding dress and put it in its garment bag before getting into her usual PJ's. Very un-sexy but it looked like sex was off the cards for tonight at least.

Then she leaned over her husband and took his tie off and unbuttoned the top buttons on his shirt. Then she unfastened his belt but otherwise she left him as he was, covering them both with the duvet. He reached for her, half asleep, half conscious but she pushed him away slightly. "Ruth…?" he questioned.

"You're tired," she said. "And so am I to be blunt. I'd like us to both be conscious when we have sex."

"Did we get married today?" he asked groggily.

"Yes we did," Ruth said smiling.

"Okay then." Harry rolled over and started snoring gently. Ruth had never felt more content. She kissed the back of his neck before she slept a dreamless and deep sleep.

* * *

**So they are finally married! I might skip most of the honeymoon because I've got an idea about where I'm going to take it. Hope this was enjoyed.**


	33. Wedding Morning

The next morning Ruth woke up to Harry's lips on hers. She smiled when consciousness returned to her and he broke away. "Good morning," he whispered.

"Mm, morning," she replied into another kiss. "You got undressed then?" she asked noticing his naked chest and assuming the rest of him was in a similar state.

"You didn't wake me up for our wedding night," he said grimly. "That's not on Ruth."

"We were both tired," she said. "I'd like us to actually enjoy it rather than just have sex because we should."

"Are you tired now?" he asked.

"No, wide awake," she said, even though she wasn't sure it was true quite yet.

"Take everything off," he demanded. "I want to see you."

"Have you always been this forceful?" Ruth teased, her fingers running over his bare chest.

"Do you like me like this?" he asked.

"Well it makes a change," she said. "When we first started sleeping together you were making sure I was okay every single step of the way. Like you thought I was going to hate sex with you."

"Well you were nervous," he said accurately. "I know you wanted it but you did have the look of a sheep caught in headlights."

"I did not!" she said slapping his arm playfully.

"You did," he said. "But as soon as you'd orgasmed once, you were mine."

"I might keep my clothes on for that comment," Ruth said with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh really?" Harry asked with disbelief. "It'll be a boring honeymoon if that's the case. Please will you take everything off? Except your rings. I never want to see those leave your finger."

"They won't," she said surely. "I promise." Without saying anything else she sat up, letting the duvet fall way from her body. Slowly she took her T shirt off and felt Harry's eyes slip to her breasts now completely bare. She smiled at him as her hands went to her shorts and she wriggled out of them and heard Harry groan at the sight of her knickers. White lace and entirely see through.

"Were you wearing them under your dress yesterday?" Harry asked, his hands gliding up her thighs, fingers brushing against the lace.

"Yes," she said, pulling away from him. With a teasing smile she removed her knickers, throwing them to the floor. Still she didn't move closer so he could touch her. Instead she ran her hands over herself, imagining the touch to be Harry's. She slowed on her nipples tugging gently before her hand slipped down between her legs. She bit her lip as she moaned quietly to herself. It was at this point that Harry couldn't restrain himself any longer. He grabbed her hand and pulled it away from her body.

"That's my job," he said in a low growl. They kissed, both sitting on the bed, both naked, and both needing the other desperately. And they'd barely even touched.

"You're beautiful," he said as he touched her intimately. "My wife is beautiful, intelligent and more sexy than she would ever believe."

Ruth grinned and pulled him in for another kiss. She straddled him and pushed herself onto him quickly. Neither had needed much to make them ready. Waking up next to a naked Harry was all she needed, and that little performance she'd given him had made him hard very quickly. They didn't move at all as they kissed, tongues exploring slowly. Deliciously. Harry was about to move inside her when there was a loud knock on the door and he groaned. "Sod off!" he shouted loudly. "We're busy!"

"Harry!"

"Do you want to answer the door?"

"No, but I don't want it announced to the whole hotel what we're doing either."

"We got married yesterday," Harry said bluntly. "I think everyone knows what we're doing in this room." She giggled loudly as they kissed again. Whoever it was at the door seemed to get the message and they weren't interrupted again.

"Oh…" she groaned as he pushed deeper inside her. Her fingernails were cutting into his back but he didn't care one bit. He kissed her neck as he moved within her, setting an irresistible rhythm for them both. Neither would last long, they knew that. "…Harry…" she breathed as she came suddenly, muscles clenching around his erection. Her breathing was hot and heavy in his ear, and his climax followed very soon. They collapsed into the bed, skin covered in sweat and still joined.

"..m hungry," Ruth said without thinking. Harry smiled, kissed her hair and then pulled away from her so he could reach the hotel phone.

"Room service?" he said quickly and Ruth wondered if she'd done her job properly if he could still speak in complete sentences. Because she sure as hell couldn't.

"Yes, I'd like two bacon sandwiches and a bottle of champagne. Room 61. Okay. Thank you." He put the phone down and kissed her slowly. "They'll be here in ten minutes."

"We're hardly decent Harry," she said quietly.

"I don't care. I'm hungry too. And I have a plan for the ice bucket that comes with the champagne."

"Why don't I like the sound of that?" Ruth asked.

"Oh you'll like it," Harry said with surety. At the present moment in time she didn't have the energy to argue with him.

* * *

"Ruth?"

"Mm?"

"We have to go."

She sat up and looked at the clock. "Its four in the afternoon. Where are we going to go?" She collapsed back into the bed, closing her eyes. The day had been exhausting but immensely pleasurable. All they'd done was sleep eat and have sex. Quite a good start to their honeymoon but she needed sleep now after their fourth round.

"We've got some tickets, and our train won't wait," Harry said.

"Train? Where are we going?" she asked, suddenly interested.

"Italy," he said with a smile. "Now get dressed, we have to go."

"We're getting a train to Italy?" Ruth asked bewildered.

"Yes," he said with a smile. "There's a high speed train line, and it's almost like the Orient express. Very exclusive. When you wake up tomorrow you'll be in a brand new city."

"Where?" Ruth asked, brushing her hair out of her face impatiently. "Rome? Venice? Florence? Milan? Naples? Torino? Genoa? Pisa?"

"I didn't know there were that many Italian cities you wanted to visit," Harry said. "Let me keep a little surprise. I've told you the country."

Ruth didn't push it, and happily got up, dressing quickly. Harry admired her naked figure for a few long moments until her jeans covered her shapely bum and he knew he had to follow suit. So he tried to put aside images of his naked wife and got dressed.

* * *

**So I've bent the rules of how long it would take to travel from London to Italy by train, but I didn't think anyone would mind. I like imagining them on an Orient Express type train as they travel to Europe. Hope you enjoyed this! x**


	34. 8th August: Ruth

**I am on a roll so this is going up earlier than I planned. Enjoy.**

* * *

**8th August, Ruth.**

Ruth was curled up on the sofa reading a book when she overheard Harry speaking on the phone. Slipping a bookmark in she tried to listen in but she couldn't hear his voice in more than a distant murmur. Instead she reverted to her favourite past time of recent weeks. Remembering their honeymoon. They had spent three days in Venice, three days in Florence and lastly four days in Rome before flying back to the UK. It had been beautiful and rarely dipped below thirty degrees. She'd loved it. But ironically, the thing she remembered with most affection was the train journey to Venice. They had a room on the train with two single beds and the look on Harry's face had been priceless.

During the night, Ruth had slipped into Harry's bed, wanting to be near him more than anything else. He had smiled and held her close throughout the entire night. The bed had been so small that they were touching along the length of their bodies everywhere. Naked skin brushing against each other. They hadn't had sex but the excitement of the closeness between them for long uninterrupted hours had been intoxicating. She would always remember the electricity that they'd shared that night.

"I'm going up to London."

"Hmm?" Ruth said, drawn out of her pleasant memories.

"You were thinking of that night on the train weren't you?"

"Yes," she admitted with a smile. "Can't help it. So London?"

"Yes," he said. "I just had a call from Erin. I had a false bottom put in one of the drawers of my desk which they've just found. I completely forgot about it. There's a stack of photos of Catherine and Graham when they were younger. I'm going to pick them up."

"Oh sure," Ruth said. "Do you want me to come?"

"No, it'll only be boring," Harry said. "You stay and read. I know you're behind." He was referring to the book club she'd joined recently and they met tomorrow. She thought she'd hate it, thought it'd be a bunch of old bitter women meeting every week but in fact it was good arguing with people about books. And it had all ages, the youngest being a girl of about seventeen. She'd barely started this weeks book and needed to get into it. "I'll show you the photos when I get back." He leaned over her and kissed her slowly. "I'll see you later."

"Drive carefully," Ruth said as he left the house. She stayed in memories of their honeymoon for about half an hour before she went up to the bathroom. She'd been waiting until Harry was out of the house but she had been desperate to take a pregnancy test for days. Several times she'd been on the verge of telling Harry that she might be pregnant but she'd refrained. She didn't want to raise his hopes if she wasn't as she knew perfectly well that he'd be delighted if she was expecting. Better not to tell him until she was sure.

So she took the test and looked at her watch, hoping for a different result than the last time she'd took a test. After a minute she looked at the test, biting her lip hard. The tiny blue plus sign was showing brightly on the test and she let out her breath in a sigh, a smile on her face. And then she burst into tears. She was pregnant.

She was carrying their baby, after months of no luck. When her tears subsided she reread the back of the pregnancy test box, just to double check and smiled again. She felt in equal measures excited, happy and terrified.

Ruth went to call Harry and was about to connect when she changed her mind. This should be told in person, not over the phone. She'd wait until he came home. Yes, that's what she'd do. In the meantime she rested a hand over her abdomen and smiled. "Hey little one," she said, rubbing her stomach. "I've been waiting for you."

* * *

Harry came back while Ruth was cooking dinner and she was eager to tell him her news. She turned as he came in the kitchen. And then her whole world fell apart. He was looking at her happily and it was all she could do to resist throwing something at him. "Get out," Ruth whispered.

"Ruth?" he questioned, not understanding.

"Get out of my house!" she shouted loudly.

"What on earth is wrong? Talk to me Ruth."

"What's wrong? What's wrong is that my husband walks into the kitchen with red lipstick on his cheek," Ruth said shortly. "Lipstick that's not mine. So get out. Now!" He put his hand to his cheek, confusion over his face and then did the worst thing possible in Ruth's eyes. He suddenly looked guilty. "Get out!"

"Ruth, I can explain…"

"You shouldn't have to explain!" Ruth shouted, unable to help how angry and upset she was. "Get out!" Harry didn't argue with her, knowing that when she was like this arguing would be pointless. So he left the house as she locked and bolted the door behind him. Then he sat in his car waiting for her to cool off so he could have his say.

Ruth curled up on the sofa and cried her heart out. He had promised that he would never cheat on her. That he was a different man and she had believed him. How stupid could she be? Men don't change, she should have known that. Why should she be any different? Why should she be special? She rested a hand on her stomach as she kept crying, unable to stop.

* * *

**Okay, so how much do you hate me? I do agree with everyone who said that in real life Harry and Ruth wouldn't have a baby, but as this is fiction who cares? Coming soon is August 8th from Harry's perspective.**


	35. 8th August: Harry

**8th August. Harry.**

Harry parked the car in the Thames House underground car park, heading up with no sense of urgency. It was a nice change to walk through the building without needing to rush. Without trying to stop the world from self combusting. As he went through security he had to wait for it to be confirmed as the guard rang through to section D, checking he was allowed access, it felt quite refreshing.

Stepping through the pods he was almost reassured to see that it was still as busy as ever. So the world still turned even when he no longer resided in his glass office. However it did feel strange when he had to knock on his old office door.

"Yes?" Harry opened the door and Erin smiled when she saw him. "Hi. How's married life?"

"Wonderful," Harry said honestly. "Thanks for calling rather than just throwing them away," he added as Erin handed him a thick envelope.

"I'd kill someone if they threw out baby pictures of Rosie," Erin said with a smile. "How are you?"

"Good," Harry said. "I'm going to leave the car downstairs and have a look around London. I haven't done it in years when I wasn't busy or going off to meet someone."

"Oh, I won't assume you've been kidnapped or killed then," Erin said with a smile. Harry grinned back. Then the phone rang and Harry left her to it. He knew when he was in the way.

* * *

Harry had a slow meander through the city, seeing it through fresh eyes. He'd lived here for years but never really seen it before. He'd never had the time. With the result that he wasn't watching where he was going and bumped into someone.

"Oh sorry," he said. And then he recognised the shape of the woman's face he'd walked into. "Jane?"

The woman turned around and it took her a moment to recognise the man she'd been married to for almost ten years. "Harry?"

"How are you?" he asked quietly.

"Do you care?"

"Of course I care," he said. "We didn't exactly have a happy marriage but of course I care."

"I'm well," Jane said, her face actually forming a smile. "I heard you got remarried."

"Yes," Harry said quietly. "I did."

"Congratulations," she said, but he didn't think she really meant it.

"Do you want to go for a coffee somewhere?"

"Don't you have to be back at work?" Jane asked. This time it had a definite bite to it.

"I got sacked," Harry said briefly.

"That I wouldn't have expected," Jane said. "I thought you'd die in that office."

"Yes, well it was either that or prison," Harry said. "Lets go to a café. We'll… catch up."

"Okay," she agreed. "That'd be good." Harry smiled at her and they went in search of a small café that would do decent coffee.

* * *

"Oh God, look at how tiny Graham was!" Jane said as she poured over the pictures Harry had shared. "I mean, I know that he was premature, but I can't believe he was ever that small."

"I know," Harry said fervently. There was about a hundred photo's there and they both had enjoyed looking over them.

"Has Graham talked with you yet?" Jane asked hesitantly.

"About the fact he's in a relationship with a man as opposed to a woman?" Harry questioned. "Yes. I'm a bit annoyed that it took him so long to tell me."

"You don't care?" Jane asked.

"He's my son, of course I care," Harry said. "But it doesn't matter to me or change how I see him if that's what you mean."

"He was dreading telling you," Jane said. "I'm glad you're so… accepting."

"I'm not a monster," he said calmly.

"No you're not," she said. Harry put some money on the restaurant table and they both got up as if by silent agreement to leave. They walked in the sunshine for several minutes in silence.

"Harry, you always were a good man, its just…"

"We were never meant to be together," Harry finished.

"That's very accurate," Jane said. "I hope your wife…"

"Ruth," Harry supplied.

"Well, I hope you two get on a lot better than we did." Harry looked at his ex-wife and saw that she meant it.

"Thank you Jane. That means a lot."

"See you soon Harry," she said, a little glint in her eye. Before he even knew it she leaned in and kissed his cheek. Then she was gone, vanishing into the London street. Harry smiled. His meeting with Jane hadn't gone nearly as badly as he had expected. And it had been inevitable meeting her again at some point, but for now he was going to go home to his wife. It would be good to see her after a whole day away from her.

* * *

"Get out!" Ruth shouted at him the instant he came into the kitchen. He refrained from asking "what the hell her problem was" and instead was simply bewildered. He had no idea what he actually ended up saying to her.

"What's wrong is that my husband walks into the kitchen with red lipstick on his cheek," Ruth said shortly. "Lipstick that's not mine. So get out." He put his hand to his cheek, confusion over his face and then it hit him Jane had briefly kissed him there. And with his previous history of infidelity with his first wife… he could easily guess what she was thinking. "Get out!"

"Ruth, I can explain…"

"You shouldn't have to explain!" Ruth shouted, morphing from a reasonable person to someone supremely jealous. "Get out!" Harry didn't argue with her, knowing that when she was like this arguing would be pointless. So he left the house as she locked and bolted the door behind him. Then he sat in his car waiting for her to cool off so he could have his say. It really was a simple explanation but she had to be willing to hear it. So he'd wait an hour, maybe two before trying to talk to her through a door. He didn't blame her for overreacting, but it wasn't nice to be on the other side of it either. He rubbed at his face, removing the offending mark and wishing bitterly that he'd looked in a mirror before going home.

* * *

**Gold star to theoofoof! Reviews have dipped but I hope that's because I'm posting these chapters thick and fast, not that the story has dipped in quality. Thanks for reading and if its not too much to ask, please leave a review. xx**


	36. Will you love me when I'm fat?

**Some people thought Ruth was over reacting, but I don't think so. I think her hormones mixed with her fear that she'll turn into Harry's first wife who was constantly cheated on are making her irrational. I hope that comes across in this chapter. Plus the second half is much happier.**

* * *

Ruth had eaten for the sake of it once she'd dried her eyes and had no more tears left to cry. She didn't really fancy eating but she felt like she should, for the baby if nothing else. Then, feeling almost empty she unbolted the front door and unlocked it too so Harry could get in. She was sure he'd try soon, but she didn't know what to say or how she'd feel. She sat on the sofa and the cat jumped up to her lap, as if knowing she was upset and stayed there, purring at her with big eyes. Smiling, she stroked him under the chin and felt a little more at ease.

Barely five minutes later she heard a tentative knock at the door. She didn't move, but then heard him try the handle and he came in, looking as upset as she felt.

"Ruth you need to listen to me," he said desperately. "Its not what you're thinking."

"You don't know what I'm thinking," she said quietly.

"I have a fair idea," he said, sitting opposite her. "I met Jane in the city. After picking up the photo's of Catherine and Graham from Erin. And we got chatting."

"So you thought you'd fuck her for old times sake?" Ruth said bitterly.

"Will you look at me please Ruth?" He knew she was only saying this because she was hurt, and for the first time he wondered how deep her worries went that he'd cheat on her because he'd never had a long lasting and faithful relationship before her. He understood, but at the same time it hurt him that she thought so little of him. After a moment she stopped watching the cat and looked at her husband. "I would never, _ever_ cheat on you. Never. I love you more than I can ever say, and I'd die before hurting you." He waited for his words to sink in and he saw behind her eyes when she (at least partly) believed it.

"Jane and I had coffee. Just coffee, while we looked over those photos and talked about Graham and Catherine. Only talking about our children. She kissed my cheek goodbye before I even knew what she was doing. Then she was gone. That's it." Ruth said nothing, taking these words in. She could accept it all, but it was just the shock of seeing another woman's lipstick on her husband. "Ruth, I'm not a stupid man. If I was going to have sex with another woman am I really idiot enough to leave her lipstick on my face?"

That at least got a small smile from her. "I guess not." Then she silently started crying, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I thought… I've been imagining…" she couldn't complete her sentences but Harry knew what she was thinking. He gently pushed the cat to the floor who only gave a small protest meow before stalking off as Harry held her close as she cried into his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said. "I just thought the worst. I should have given you the benefit of the doubt. I saw red. I'm sorry."

"I understand why you thought what you did. I'm sorry too." He held her close, simply comforting his crying wife. Eventually she stopped crying and he smiled at her. Even with a blotchy red face and watery eyes she was still beautiful. "Can I?" he asked, his eyes flicking to her lips.

"You don't need to ask." He smiled and kissed her softly. When he broke away she was smiling, more genuinely than before.

"I need to talk to you," she said seriously.

"You believe me don't you?" he asked, suddenly worried all over again.

"Yeah, I do. But I want to ask you something," she said. "Will you love me when I'm fat?"

"You'll never be fat," he said. "You'll always be beautiful, even at ninety five."

"Harry…"

"Fine, I will love you if you get fat. Will that do?"

"Will you love me when I'm hormonal?"

"Yes," he said, forehead crinkling as he didn't understand the references she was making.

"Will you love me when I insist on decorating the spare room a ridiculous colour?"

"Ruth, I don't understand what…"

"Answer the question," she said calmly but firmly.

"Of course I will, I'll love you whatever happens.

"Will you love me when I chose a stupid name for our child?"

"Ye… Wait, say that again," Harry said, his eyes wide as he realised what she was actually telling him. Ruth's only response was to smile at him. Then when he still hadn't moved a muscle or said a word after several minutes she began to doubt herself.

"I thought you… I thought we both wanted this."

"You're really…? Pregnant?" he asked in a hushed whisper, eyes bright.

"Yes," she said, still not sure of his reaction. Was he thrilled or horrified?

"Lie down," he whispered, smiling at her. She did what he asked, a little reassured by the smile and then happiness filled her as he quickly lifted her shirt up and softly caressed her stomach. He kissed her navel so gently that it almost made her heart stop for a moment. "Hello little one. We've been waiting for you very eagerly." He kissed her stomach again. "But we did have had a lot of fun making you."

"Harry!" He chuckled against her flesh but kept stroking her stomach lovingly.

"Oh I'm so pleased," he said happily.

"For a moment there I was worried you weren't happy," Ruth said.

"Why would you think that?" he asked, stunned as he straightened up and faced her, a hand still protectively on her stomach.

"You were just silent when you realised what I was telling you!" Ruth said, but the tension had been broken between them.

"How long have you known?" he asked.

"I took a test this morning," Ruth said. "But I'm about eight days late so I thought I was." He kissed her briefly, still grinning.

"Have you booked in to a doctors to check every things okay?" Harry asked.

"Er, no. I haven't given it any thought," she said. "I was more "wow I've actually got a positive pregnancy test" rather than thinking practically."

"You should call tomorrow. I just want to check everything's… good ."

"I will," she promised. "Have you eaten?"

"No, I'm not hungry though," he said. "I just want to have a shower and get to bed. If that's okay." Ruth nodded. That sounded like a perfect plan to her.

* * *

**Hope everyone's happier now they're back together. :-) Thanks for the reviews so far. x**


	37. Chapter 37

**Please excuse any medical inaccuracies.**

Harry woke up first the next morning as was usual. Ruth was sleeping on her side facing him, breathing evenly. He wanted to touch her but he wondered if that might wake her so he refrained. He was glad she had slept well because he hadn't. He kept tossing and turning wondering how she could think he would ever even want to sleep with someone else. And those thoughts were mixed with the awe and wonder he felt at becoming a father again. She was growing their child and it was incredible. Before he knew what he was doing he put a hand on her stomach protectively. She was still flat, but then again their child was probably the size of a fingernail at the moment, or something else ridiculously small.

Ruth rolled over still half asleep and kissed her husband slowly. He let her, enjoying it but then he rolled away as her hand had slipped to his penis. "No," he said firmly.

"Why?" she asked sleepily.

"I'm not going to have sex with you until the doctor says its okay," Harry said firmly.

"What!" Ruth said, sitting up quickly. "You are joking."

"No, I'm not," he said surely. But when his wife was looking at him like that it was difficult to resist.

"We had sex two days ago," Ruth said simply. "I was pregnant then."

"But I didn't know did I?" Harry said. "Please, just let us get confirmation from the doctor."

"Fine, I'll call right now for an appointment," Ruth said firmly. Harry laughed, but it was stifled quickly as she left the bed and walked across the room for the phone, stark naked. He groaned to himself and she smirked as if knowing what she was doing to him. She dialled the doctors quickly, booking herself in for an appointment. Harry was so distracted by her that he didn't even hear what she was saying. When she put the phone down she turned to Harry but she was no longer smiling. She slipped back into bed and held him close. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, whispering into his ear. "For yesterday. I just… panicked. I'm sorry."

"Its okay," he said holding her close.

"I feel awful," she said. "Rationally I know you wouldn't cheat on me, I just saw red."

"Please stop worrying," he said. "Its not good for the baby."

"I hurt you though didn't I?"

"Yes." It was pointless to lie. She had hurt him by thinking, even briefly, that he could ever be with another woman.

"I'm sorry," Ruth repeated.

"Stop worrying," he said. "Please." Ruth nodded but didn't speak, instead she buried her head in his neck, and they stayed there, holding each other close for a long, long time.

* * *

"I'm hungry," Ruth whispered. Maybe a few hours later, maybe a few minutes, Harry couldn't tell.

"I'll go and get breakfast started," Harry said, getting up.

"Let me help, you can't do everything for me," Ruth said. She sat up and then looked a little pale.

"Ruth?" he asked carefully.

"I'm okay," she said. "I thought I might be about to throw up, but I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Mm," she said. "I could do with some coffee though."

"You're on decaf now," Harry added throwing a shirt on.

"Are you going to be like this for nine months?" Ruth asked with a smile.  
"I might be," he said. "Lets get you and the baby fed." She smiled, glad that the bad parts of yesterday seemed to have been put behind them.

* * *

**11th August.**

"How did you get us seen so quickly?" Harry asked as they sat in the hospital waiting room.

"I didn't ask nicely," Ruth whispered. "There's no way I'm going eight months without sex, so I got us seen quickly." She kissed his cheek softly, her eyes glinting at him. "You're too overprotective for your own good you know that?"

"Yes," he said. They turned as the name "Ruth Pearce" was called. They both got up to the examination room and a nurse told them the doctor would be there in a moment. Ruth settled herself on the table, waiting nervously.

"It'll be okay," Harry said, able to read her like a book. "It'll all be fine."

"I hope you're right," Ruth said. He gripped her hand tightly and Ruth smiled at him. At that moment the door opened and a tiny young blonde doctor came in, smiling at them both.

"Hi," she said. "I'm Doctor Callahan, and I'll be your doctor. So, you're pregnant, congratulations." Ruth nodded but didn't say anything. "Do you know how many weeks gone you are?"

"No," Ruth said simply. "I had my period at the end of June, so I'm guessing I can't be far along." The doctor made a note on her clipboard before powering up the ultrasound machine.

"Right, well we'll have a look and see how things are going."

"Are you qualified?" Harry asked bluntly.

"Harry! You don't antagonise the OB!"

"I'm looking after you both," he said, kissing her hair, completely unabashed. "Well?"

"I apologise for my husbands behaviour," Ruth said quickly.

"Its fine, I get it a lot. Its because I'm blonde and tiny and everyone thinks I must be thick. Yes, Mr Pearce I am qualified. I've been delivering babies for eight years at this hospital. I know what I'm doing."

"Thank you," Harry said easily.

"Right," the doctor said. "This'll be cold, can you lift your shirt for me please?" Ruth did as the gel was put on her stomach. She watched the screen but couldn't make anything out other than blackness. Harry squeezed her hand and she smiled at him.

"Okay, you are definitely pregnant," the doctor said, focusing on the screen. "But you are further along than you thought." She zoomed in. "The foetus is the right size for nine weeks. And here's the heartbeat." Suddenly a loud noise filled the room and Ruth smiled in relief.

"That's good to hear," Harry said, kissing Ruth slowly. But Ruth thought of something else and turned to the doctor.

"But, I had my period last month," she said quickly. "How can I be nine weeks pregnant?"

"I wouldn't worry," the doctor said casually.

"I need more than that," Ruth replied sharply.

"Spotting is not uncommon in the first few weeks of pregnancy," the doctor said. "It happens in about twenty percent of pregnancies and can be mistaken for a period. I'm saying you shouldn't worry because your baby's heartbeat is strong and regular, and its just at the size it should be at this stage. But I will take a blood sample, just to double check. Don't stress about it. It's fine."

"When will the results be in?" Harry asked as Ruth still looked concerned.

"Tomorrow afternoon," the doctor said. "I'll call when the results come in."

"Good," Ruth said with half a smile. "That's good." The doctor smiled and handed them a print out of their baby. "He's so small!"

"He's ours," Harry said. And he kissed her slowly. When they parted they were both smiling.

"Um, Doctor Callahan, is it okay if we still have sex?" Ruth asked. She thought it was delightful the way Harry blushed when she asked that question.

"Yes, there shouldn't be a problem," the doctor said smiling. "I'll see you in a few weeks for your next scan. It'll look more like a baby than a blotch that time."

"Thank you," Ruth said smiling. She gripped the picture of their baby tightly as they left the hospital.

* * *

Ruth jumped like she'd been electrocuted when her mobile phone rang the next morning. She'd been asleep and the bed sheets were twisted around her legs s she spoke. "Yes?"

"Its Doctor Callahan. I'm sorry to disturb so early, but I've got the results of your blood work," the doctor said.

"And?"

"There are no abnormalities at all. Everything looks as it should be. I thought I'd call you so you don't have to worry more than necessary."

"Thank you. I really appreciate it," Ruth said, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders. She nodded at Harry who was watching anxiously. "I'll see you in a few weeks."

"Bye Ruth." Ruth put the phone down and said in one quick breath "Everything's normal. Its all as it should be."

"That's good," Harry said. He kissed her slowly and it only took a few minutes before neither were thinking about their child any longer

* * *

**I've come to a bit of a sticking point now! Thanks for the reviews so far. If anyone has any suggestions for pregnant Ruth / bewildered Harry scenes I'll try to include them. Thanks, x.**


	38. Chapter 38

"Ruth, wake up," Harry whispered.

"No." Ruth said firmly, rolling over and attempting to go back to sleep.

"You've got your three month scan this morning. We can't be late," Harry said, stroking her hair. "There'll be bacon and eggs downstairs. If you get dressed you'll have time for breakfast before going to the hospital."

"Fine," Ruth said. "I'll get up, but I want a kiss first. A proper one." Harry grinned at her, feeling that that was a fair exchange. After a heavenly minute and a half Ruth was smiling. "I'll get up," she said, grinning sleepily as she moved the duvet aside. Harry got a brief look of his naked wife as she went to the wardrobe. He was caught unaware when a pillow was thrown at his face. "Don't ogle me."

"You married a man who finds you irresistible. I'm allowed to ogle my wife for a few minutes each morning if I want to. Especially when in six months time someone else will be more important than me in occupying your time."

Ruth whipped around and saw sadness in his eyes. She closed the gap between them "Harry, you're the most important person in my life. And when our little one comes along, he or she will be demanding and will need all of our attention and won't stop screaming or crying for the first year of its life. But we'll both love him or her anyway. It won't lessen how we feel about each other. Our daughter or our son won't come between us." She kissed him gently. "Although, I must admit I'm not sure how I'm going to handle all of the early mornings when our little bump is born." Harry laughed at that, and she felt glad that the seriousness had been turned away from somewhat.

"I'll get breakfast on," he said softly. She smiled as he left their bedroom and she got dressed.

* * *

Going downstairs a little later Harry stared at what she was wearing. One of his shirts and a pair of leggings, which apparently were the only things that would fit over her now visible bump. "If you say one word about what I look like I will castrate you."

Harry wisely kept silent. "Coffee's on the table."

"Thank you," Ruth said. "I need to go shopping for some maternity clothes don't I?"

"Pleading the fifth," Harry said before sipping his own coffee with a frown on his face. He hated decaf.

"Did you just say something American?" Ruth asked amused as she got to work on her breakfast. He smiled at her. "I need a button too."

"Why?"

"I attempted to get into my "fat day" jeans. I ripped the button off." It was all Harry could do not to laugh at the little pout of disappointment on her face. But he knew laughing wouldn't help so somehow he managed to keep a straight face.

"After our appointment we can go shopping. Get you something that…" he wasn't quite sure how to put it tastefully.

"Fits?" Ruth said with a venomous glare.

"Accommodates the fact that there's now two of you instead of one," Harry said calmly. Ruth's gaze softened and Harry vowed to eat his breakfast in silence from now on.

* * *

"I'm thinking we should sell one of our cars," Ruth said as they drove back home, the boot filled with lots of shopping bags containing Ruth's maternity clothes.

"Why?" Harry asked surprised.

"Because we never use yours. It seems a little wasteful having two when we never use it," Ruth said. "And the MOT and road tax is due this month. It seems like a waste of money. It's just a thought."

"Let me think about it," Harry said. She had a point but he'd never given it any thought at all. "You've got the ultrasound picture right?"

"Yes," Ruth said, clasping it tightly with a smile. "It's the best black and white blur I've ever seen."

"At least you can tell it's a baby in this one," Harry said. Ruth smiled.

"Yes you can. You didn't have to treat me to that Eva Alexander dress. It was far too expensive."

"I wanted to," Harry said honestly. "And you'll look beautiful in it."

"I'll look like a beached whale when I'm that size," Ruth said critically.

"Oh come on, its not that big," Harry said. "I'll take you out for dinner somewhere… exclusive if you like."

"You can be sweet you know," Ruth said. If he hadn't been driving she'd have kissed him. Instead she satisfied herself with the happy feeling she'd been basking in for the last few hours.

As Harry parked at home his mobile phone rang. "You go in, I'll carry the bags in in a minute." Ruth nodded and kissed his cheek while he answered it. "Yes?"

"Harry, I'm sorry to bother you but I don't really know what to do," Erin's voice said, tension clear in her voice.

"I've had a good day, I'd like it if you wouldn't spoil it," Harry said quickly in warning.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know what to do," Erin repeated. "We caught a Russian FSB officer trying to hack into our secured network. At the moment he's in our holding cells, but I want to know if he's lying or if he believes the little he's telling us."

"Why does that involve you calling me?" Harry asked, not putting it together yet.

"He was trying to get access to your files. Cases you'd worked on in the early eighties. He… I'm embarrassed to pass this on, but he says that he's your son."

"What's his name?" Harry asked coldly, already knowing the answer he'd hear.

"Sasha Gavrik." Erin paused awkwardly as Harry tried to regain his composure. "Is he telling the truth?"

"Yes," Harry said shortly. "I don't work for MI5 any longer, I can't do anything."

"I wondered if you'd like us to… well, to let him go. He didn't get very far and he was only looking for information on you. As a mark of respect, we wondered if you wanted it to go under the radar."

"No you can't," Harry said. "I understand what you're saying but you can't. If he's capable of hacking into our protected files who knows what he could find. If he works for Russian intelligence… you can't Erin. Do what you have to do."

"Are you sure? He seems… troubled."

"He might be, but he's most likely dangerous," Harry said. "If possible try and avoid sending him back to Moscow as a traitor. That's not… a good fate. I wouldn't wish that for him."

"Okay," Erin said after a moment. "I'll do my best. Sorry to call you about this. I didn't know what to do."

"That's okay Erin," he said, even though his heart was sinking.

"We might have to let him go."

"I know. Bye Erin." Harry put is phone down, head in hands. He hadn't thought about Sasha in several years, and when he had only in passing. But he knew he had to tell Ruth about his indiscretion years ago. This was not going to be pleasant.

* * *

**Believe it or not I planned for this to be light hearted and then it got all serious for some reason. I think Sasha may turn up for a face to face with Harry. The plot behind this if very thin, but I hope no one minds.**


	39. Chapter 39

**While the last chapter was meant to be light hearted and ended up serious, this one was meant to be serious and ended up a bit light at the end. Hope its okay.**

* * *

Harry opened the door, finding Ruth already curled up on the sofa. "Bags?" Ruth asked with a smile, seeing his empty hands.

"I need to talk to you," Harry said slowly.

"That's not a good face," Ruth said accurately. "That's an "I'm sorry but I've run over your cat" face."

"I haven't told you something," he said and Ruth sighed.

"Is it a good thing I'm sitting down?" she asked carefully.

"Probably. Back in the early eighties I was stationed in Berlin for a long period of time. It was the cold war and we wanted as much information from everywhere that we could possibly get. So I went back and forth between London and Berlin for about four years."

"I know that," Ruth said slowly. "Why are you telling me about a case so long ago? What does it matter?"

"It matters because I got my information from a Russian asset. I…"

"Harry, just tell me whatever it is," she said easily. She didn't understand what he was trying to tell her.

"I was having an affair with Ilya Gavrik's wife. Elena. I'm sorry," he said quickly, feeling horribly ashamed that he had to tell the love of his life this.

"How long?" Ruth asked coldly.

"Four years," Harry said. "I got a lot of good intel from her."

"Please tell me you weren't sleeping with her simply because she was giving you information," Ruth said shaking her head.

"No, of course not," he said quickly. "I do have some morals. I did even then. I was young and stupid."

"Why are you telling me this when its so long ago?" Ruth asked quietly.

"I need you to stay calm," Harry said, looking at her bump for a second. "I fathered her son."

"Oh God Harry…" Ruth said critically. "How could you?"

"Like I said, I was young and stupid…"

"How could you not tell me?!" Ruth said. "We've been together for more than a year. More than eighteen months and you haven't mentioned that you have three children? Or is it four? Or a dozen?"

"I'm sorry," Harry said.

"Sorry's no good for me Harry!" Ruth said, getting up and going through to the kitchen. She switched the kettle on and started making herself a coffee.

"I know you're angry at me," Harry said when he followed her through to the kitchen. "But you shouldn't be having coffee. The baby."

"I need caffeine if I'm to get through this conversation. And I've read about twelve different medical studies saying that one cup of coffee a day is fine for pregnant women until they're breastfeeding, I just haven't wanted to argue with you." Harry didn't say anything. "What's his name?"

"Sasha," Harry said quietly.

"Why have you avoided telling me?"

"Because I'm embarrassed to admit that I very rarely think about him. I'm not his father in any way that matters."

"Oh come on Harry," Ruth said shaking her head.

"Ilya is his father. He raised the boy, and Sasha has never even met me. He would have hated to be brought up British. I wouldn't want that for him. Not that I never think of him, because I do. But rarely. I'm sorry."

"Were you married?" Ruth asked, looking out of the kitchen window. "When you were having an affair with this Elena, were you married?"

"Yes."

Ruth sighed and looked at her hands. "Why?"

"I'd fallen out of love with my wife," he said slowly. "We argued all the time. And its not an excuse, but Elena was attractive and… I wanted something more than my loveless marriage."

"Were you in love with her?"

"No," Harry said surely. "I wasn't. She was different and exciting. I was foolish."

"I'm not mad that you have another child," Ruth said slowly. "I'm furious that you didn't tell me. Ever. And I'm mad that you cheated on your wife. Four years, that's not a short fling. You had an ongoing affair for that long…"

"I love you," he whispered. "It would never happen to us, because if things weren't working… we'd talk. I didn't with Jane but I would with you. I wouldn't hang on to a marriage just for the sake of it. Not any more. Jane and I were both unhappy, but we refused to let go. Please believe me."

"I do," she said. "I need time to think about this. That's all. Please give me time."

"Okay," he said lightly, knowing not to push it. "Please only have one coffee."

"I won't do anything to hurt this baby," Ruth said firmly. "No matter how much of a total idiot my husband can be at times." Harry smiled in relief and she managed a tiny smile back. In that moment, he knew that this revelation would be okay. That they would be alright.

* * *

"I'm going to bed," Ruth said gently later that night. Harry turned from the TV, not really watching it but looked at his wife sadly. They hadn't really spoken since earlier.

"Do you want me to sleep in the spare room?" he asked.

"No." Her eyes were soft. "The bed'll be lonely and cold without you. Come on." He smiled in relief and followed her up to bed.

* * *

"How many women have you slept with?" Ruth asked when they were laying next to each other. "I just want to know," she added in the silence.

"I'm not telling you that," he said. "No good can come of that question, especially as sex doesn't mean anything."

"Oh really?"

"It doesn't mean anything unless you feel something for the person," he edited. "Giving you a number wouldn't do anything except upset you. So I will not tell you."

"I want to know," she said quietly. "Please."

"To be honest I don't know," he said. "I don't count the women I sleep with. Ruth, the number doesn't mean anything. I have been in love with four women though. That I'll freely tell you."

"Okay so me, and…?"

Harry laughed at the look on her face and held her close as she smiled too. "There was a girl called Sophie I was madly in love with," Harry said. "That was a bit of a disaster actually. Then Jane, and now you."

"You said four," Ruth said.

"Well, the other one isn't in the way that you mean," Harry said. "Catherine."

"Oh," Ruth said with a smile. "That's okay then. Give me a number, I won't hold it against you."

"I don't know but I'll give you a rough estimate," Harry said, knowing she wouldn't let it go. "Will that do?"

"No," she said slowly after a moment of silence. "I've changed my mind. I don't want to know."

"Good," Harry said, closing his eyes.

"I love you," she whispered. "Your dubious history with women aside."

"Love you too," he said. "Both of you."

* * *

**Right, this fic is now officially on a break. I will write some more when I get back from Greece and I have the time. Thanks for keeping up with this for so long so far. And more to come soon!**


	40. Chapter 40

Harry was driving to the hospital for Ruth's next appointment. She sat next to him completely silent and he knew she was worried. "It'll all be fine," he reassured her.

"You don't know that," she snapped quickly. "You don't know that the baby won't come out with three arms or eleven toes!"

Harry wisely stayed quiet. He knew she was only snapping because she was worried. He didn't say anything at all until he parked the car. "Why are you being quiet?" Ruth demanded.

"So you don't rip my head off," Harry said with a raised eyebrow. The look on his face made Ruth laugh and her eyes sparkle.

"I love you," she said, leaning across the car to kiss him firmly. He responded eagerly, loving that she felt confident enough to take the initiative.

"And I love you too," Harry said. Her smile slowly faded away as her eyes settled on the hospital. "Come on. Lets find out if we're having a girl or a boy." Ruth nodded as they both left the car and approached the hospital.

* * *

"Okay, how have you been since I last saw you?" Doctor Callahan said as Ruth settled on the examination table.

"Fine," Ruth replied. "Should I be worried that I haven't had any morning sickness at all?"

"No," the doctor replied powering up the machine. "You're lucky that's all. When I was carrying my daughter I was sick everyday until she was born. That was a hard nine months." Ruth smiled as she lifted her shirt and the cold gel was put on her now noticeable bump.

"Is everything alright?" Harry asked after a minute of silence from the doctor.

"Yes," she said with an indulgent smile. "You're the first appointment of the day so I'm just getting the machine to focus… Ah, there we are." A loud regular reassuring beat filled the room and Harry and Ruth smiled at each other before looking at the picture of their child.

"So, girl or boy?" Harry asked quickly.

"Do you both want to know?"

"Yes," they said in unison.

"You're having a girl."

Harry grinned and apart from their wedding day, Ruth didn't think she'd ever seen him this happy. He kissed Ruth slowly and a lot more passionately than he should have with someone else in the room.

"Is everything okay with her?"

"Seems perfectly healthy," the doctor said. "Regular heartbeat and normal size. Absolutely nothing to worry about."

"Good," Ruth said fervently. "Can we have a picture?"

"Of course." The doctor quickly printed off an image and gave it to the happy parents to be. Neither of them could stop smiling.

* * *

In the car on the way home Ruth said something which they both knew would have to be done. "We need to tell Catherine and Graham."

"I know," Harry said. "But you were worried, and I thought we should wait until after the appointment. Just to check everything was okay."

"Well it is," she said, clutching the picture of their child like a life raft. "If they turn up unannounced, they'll take one look at me and know that I'm pregnant and that we neglected to tell them. And I think it should come from you."

"I'll call when I get in," Harry said. "Cate first, because I think she'll be happy. I have no idea how Graham will react."

"Thank you. We need to start clearing out the guest room too."

"One thing at a time Ruth," he said wearily. She smiled, knowing that he was just as happy as she.

* * *

Calling his children, Catherine went much better than expected. He sat at the kitchen table, clutching the phone desperately, waiting for her to digest the news.

"Oh, that's great!" she said with enthusiasm. "I bet Ruth's thrilled."

"I'm happy too," Harry said indignantly.

"I know, but Ruth's never had a kid has she?"

"No," Harry said. "I'm so pleased you're happy for us. I'm not sure how your brother is going to react."

"Good luck with that," Catherine said, totally unhelpfully.

"Thanks Cate," Harry said sarcastically. "I love you."

"Love you too dad. Bye." Catherine was gone before he could say anything else. Which left Harry with the unappealing task of calling Graham. Without stopping to think about it too much, he dialled the number. Quicker than he expected the phone was answered with a curt, "Yep?"

"Hi Graham, its dad," he said quietly.

"What have you done?" Graham said instantly. "You're using that tone of voice that means you've done something I'm not going to like."

"Its not that at all," Harry said quickly. "Its more that I don't know how you're going to react. That's all."

"So?"

"Ruth's pregnant."

"Jesus Christ dad!" Graham shouted down the phone making Harry wince, "You're still having… doing **_that_ **at your age? What the hell is wrong with you!" Harry didn't know quite what to say to that so he stayed silent. "I'll call you later dad." The phone slammed down, leaving Harry staring into space, the phone hanging from his fingertips.

He only moved when he felt Ruth's palm on his shoulder and he put the phone back down. "It didn't go well?" she asked quietly.

"Catherine took it well," Harry replied. "Very well. Graham… well he didn't give me an opinion. Not really. He basically shouted at me that I was too old to be having sex."

That made Ruth chuckle before she could stop herself, and Harry spun around to face her. "Sorry," she said, even when her tone and her face made it perfectly clear that she wasn't. "Its just… I hope we're never too old for sex. You're… _so_ good at it."

Harry knew she was trying to take his mind off of Grahams reaction, and it was working. Fabulously. "Just good?" he queried, getting up from his chair with a glint in his eyes. That glint, Ruth liked to think of it. The Havensworth look of "give me five minutes and I'm going to have you screaming for more before you know it." Ruth tried to swallow away the lump in her throat but it didn't do anything at all. How could she still be so attracted to her husband? So desperate for him that one look could have her going (silently) yes, take me please. "Well, maybe my memory's going," she said quietly as he approached her. "But I remember it being rather good."

"If you can't remember how mind blowing it was last night, I'm going to question your sanity." Harry said in a low purr.

"Refresh my memory," Ruth whispered, eyes bright and cheeks flushed. He smiled wickedly at her and quick as a bullet, captured her lips with his, in a searing kiss. Ruth felt both breathless and slightly drunk when he released her, lips swollen and heart racing. She didn't say another word. Instead she grabbed his shirt and pulled it off of him almost violently. She surprised herself with how desperate she was to have him. She blamed her pregnancy hormones as her hands ran all over his chest. Not her at all, no. Must be the baby making her this way. Which gave Harry absolutely no excuse for the speed in which he loosened her jeans and had them around her ankles, turning them both around so she was lying on the table. He didn't ask if she was okay, he didn't need to. Her panting and quiet mewling was evidence enough. Both of them worked on his trousers and soon they joined the growing pile of clothing on the kitchen floor. He slid a hand inside her knickers confidently, from ease of practise and ran his fingers over her with a firmness she wasn't used to. The friction was delicious and it was all she could do not to moan. Instead she panted "I need you."

Still he showed no inclination to speed things along, teasing her as one hand roamed inside her bra, squeezing her now much more sensitive than usual nipples. "Harry…" she called. "Please, God. I'm going to explode if you don't…"

"If I don't what?" he asked hot and heavy in her ear. "Well?" he asked when she showed no desire to respond to that question.

"If I don't feel you inside me in the next sixty seconds, I'm never going to have sex with you again. And I'll name our child after an unpronounceable Greek goddess." He didn't believe she'd carry out either threat but he wasn't going to tempt fate either. He pulled his boxers down, already hard for her and entered her hard and roughly.

They were both usually much more sedate and gentle so this change of tempo thrilled them both more than it should have. "God yes Harry!" Ruth cried out, seemingly unaware of the fact her breasts had spilled out of her bra. Harry was not unaware of this fact and he lowered his head to nip and suck on her flesh, causing inhumane noises to escape from her throat as he moved slowly within her.  
He grunted with surprise as she cupped his balls. He hadn't even realised her fingertips had left his chest, so distracted was he. She squeezed lightly and he moaned into her hair. He'd always been silent during love making. Or he had been until he met her. Ruth did things to him which no other woman had ever managed before, making it impossible to keep himself fully under control. He had to let go of himself, and the feeling of losing himself in her was incredible. If he had the energy or were a younger man, he'd make love to her several times every single day. But for the moment, he'd have to make do with… oh dear God. She had run her fingers over him softly as she leaned upwards and managed to lick his nipple from that position.

"I need more Harry," she demanded quietly. She seemed so in control that it was unbelievable. He wondered if she was enjoying it, but when he thrust into her again, all his doubts vanished. She cried out, her back arched as her head hit the table with a dull thud and her muscles clenched around him. She had just climaxed, needing no more than the little stimulation he'd given her. He grinned at her, pleased with himself, waiting for her to come back down to earth. When she did his fingers reached down and gently massaged her clitoris as he thrust into her repeatedly. He wouldn't last much longer but he wanted her to come again. The way she was bucking under him made it perfectly clear that she was close. So soon after her first orgasm, he gave her flesh a light pinch where he knew from experience would make her let go, and then he came himself with a groan into her hair, now damp with sweat. Always mindful of her bump, he lay down next to her, a hand on their child as he pulled out of her. She didn't stifle her gasp as he did so, the cold air hitting everywhere they'd been touching.

Now that the frenzy of passion had died out, Harry realised he shouldn't have made love to his wife on the kitchen table. He should have at least taken her up to bed. "I'm sorry."

"What in God's name are you sorry for?" Ruth asked confused. "I know damn well you enjoyed that as much as I did."

"I should have taken you upstairs," he said slowly, trying to explain. "You're worth more than a quick shag on a table."

"I am worth more than that," she agreed sitting up to face him. "But when its us, it always means more than just sex. When or wherever we make love doesn't matter. it's the fact that I'm making love to you that counts. I don't care where we have sex. I am fully in the knowledge of the fact that we'll only be able to have sex in completely inappropriate places for a few more months. Because when this one comes along, we won't be able to do this until she's at Uni. So I'm glad we're making the most of it Harry." He smiled at her and kissed the top of her hair softly.

"I love you," he said simply. "You are one in a million. You're so special. What you see in me, I've no idea."

"Other than the fact you can almost make me orgasm by looking at me you mean?" Ruth questioned, adjusting her bra which had never really made it off. "Do I really have to say it?" One look at his face made it clear that she did. "I love you. You have integrity and honour. You respect me. You make me smile and laugh, you're one of the only men I've ever met who actually makes me feel desirable. You're intelligent and I am immensely attracted to you. Will that do?"

"Yes," he said simply. He had no idea what else to say to those statements so he settled for just accepting them. It shouldn't come as such a surprise to him anyway, after all she'd chosen to marry him. She'd chosen to share her life with him. Why did this shock him so much?

* * *

**Hope you liked it. Working this weekend so updates might be a bit slow. In the meantime, please leave a review :)**


	41. Sarah

**A rather unexpectedly long chapter. Hope you like it.**

* * *

The next day when Harry had gone for his habitual walk into the village to pick up the paper the phone rang. Ruth picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hi Ruth, its Graham."

"Oh. Hi," she said, trying to keep her voice neutral. Apparently it hadn't worked because Graham sighed.

"I'm guessing my dad told you that I didn't exactly react well to your news then," Graham said.

"He didn't tell me the details," Ruth said quickly. "I just knew from the look on his face that it hadn't gone well." She neglected to mention what had happened after it, and was desperately trying to keep the memory away. If it showed in her voice it wouldn't do anyone any favours at all.

"Look, I'm sorry," Graham said. "I just wasn't expecting it. Out of all the things he could have told me, it didn't even enter my head that you were… pregnant."

"I'm not sorry that I am," she said quietly but firmly. "I thought I'd left it too late in my life to ever have children, so I'm not going to apologise for it. But I am sorry that you're finding this difficult."

"I'm not," Graham said honestly. "It was just a big shock," he said. "That's all. I was calling dad to apologise for my reaction. Is he in?"

"No, he's down in the village," Ruth said truthfully. "I'll tell him you rang."

"Thanks Ruth," he said quietly.

"Oh hang on a minute," Ruth said. She'd heard the door unlock and she got up to see Harry shaking off his coat which was dripping with rain water. "He's just got in. I'll pass you over."

Harry looked at her curiously but took the phone. Ruth listened to the conversation which went very well. By the time he put the phone down Harry was smiling, in spite of the fact he was sodden through. "I take it its raining," Ruth said lightly, handing him a mug of tea.

"Mm," he said. "Graham's much better today. He said it was a shock, that's all."

"He told me that," Ruth said honestly. She ran her hand through his hair which was in damp curls around his ears and in that moment she wanted him. With his hand around the mug of tea he raised his eyebrows at her, as if reading her mind.

"Oh my God!" Ruth cried out quickly. Harry watched for a split second with fear as her hand went to her bump.

"What's wrong?" he asked instantly, holding her shoulders as if to steady her, and trying to read her face.

"Give me your hand," she said quickly. He did and she instantly placed it on her bump. His jaw dropped open when he felt the muffled thump against his palm.

"That's our daughter," he said quietly as the movement continued. It wasn't exactly a kick, not yet, but it was strong enough to be felt and he delighted in it, staring at her stomach. A few seconds later the movement subsided but Harry kept his hand there. "That's our girl," he said smiling at her.

"Wow," Ruth said under her breath. "I've only felt a couple of flutters. Nothing like that."

"You've felt the baby move and hadn't told me?" he asked hurt.

"You wouldn't have been able to feel them anyway," Ruth said shaking her head. "They were so gentle and only lasted for about a second. That's the first real movement she's done."

"Still, you should have told me," he grumbled.

"You'd have only been upset," she said, rolling her eyes. He kissed her briefly and then smiled.

"We really have to get to work on the nursery."

"Indeed we do," Harry replied, grinning furiously.

* * *

March 1st

Ruth opened the freezer, needing some ice cream desperately. She dug under frozen peas and found a tub of vanilla bean with a grin on her face. She was nine months pregnant and she only had a few days left where she could eat what she wanted to without feeling guilty. She grabbed the tub and a spoon, heading into the lounge to watch some late night TV. She was just getting into a game show when she heard Harry shuffling to the doorway.

"I woke up and you weren't there," he said quietly.

"Craving," she said simply, digging the spoon in again. "I didn't want to disturb you. Sorry. I know the bed must spring back into shape when I get out of it because I'm the size of a beached whale, but still, I didn't want to wake you."

"You're not a beached whale," he said firmly. "You're a beautiful woman carrying our beautiful daughter. And as big as you now are, that is growing our child and protecting our baby. You're not fat, or like a rhinoceros as you've become quite keen on saying to me. Okay?"

"Yes," she said. "Although how you can find me attractive when I look like this is anyone's guess," she said sadly. "Maybe I should question your sanity."

"Maybe you should," he said smiling at her. "Try and get some sleep," he said. "I'm going back to bed."

"I'll be up when the ice creams gone."

"See you in a bit," he said. Ruth nodded and listened to his receding footsteps as the boards creaked slightly under his weight. She heard the mattress springs go and knew he'd rolled over onto his side, so he could sleep properly. She watched the TV for several more minutes, the ice cream melting when she felt it. A distinct and slightly painful twinge in the region of her very large baby bump. She covered it with her hand and waited. Ten minutes later when there still was nothing she mentally shrugged her shoulders and ignored it. Waddling into the kitchen she got rid of the ice cream and put the spoon in the sink, pausing to stroke the cat before going back upstairs.

Just when she was on the verge of sleep she felt it again. A contraction. She looked over Harry's shoulder at the clock and saw that it had taken about forty five minutes between them. No way was she going to go to the hospital yet. It was nearly one in the morning, and if her labour was starting, and starting slowly, she would need all the sleep she could get. So she closed her eyes and allowed unconsciousness to wash over her.

* * *

At six a.m, Ruth knew it was time to get to the hospital. She hadn't regretted her decision the night before as she'd managed to get about four hours of only slightly broken sleep. She nudged Harry's shoulder. "Wake up."

"No," he said firmly, eyes clamped shut.

"Please, you need to wake up," she repeated herself. "Our daughter needs you."

He sat up at that and stared at her. "What?" he asked, completely confused.

"I think I'm in labour," she said calmly. "I need you to drive me to the hospital and to not panic."

"I'm not panicking," he said as he got out of bed and pulled on yesterdays clothes very quickly. "How long have you been feeling contractions?" he asked swiftly.

"Since last night," she said, not wanting to lie.

"What?!" he shouted at her. "Since last night! Why didn't you wake me?"

"I didn't want to bother you and…"

"You didn't want to bother me?!" he said, voice raising in volume and power. "When my wife goes into labour she has every reason to wake me! That's the one occasion I expect to be woken!"

"I wanted a few more hours sleep," she interrupted. "You know, before I push a bowling ball out of my body. I'm fine. I just need some help getting up and putting some clothes on." Harry nodded, distracted from her earlier actions by what she needed now. He helped her pull some loose clothes onto her and then held her hand tightly as she walked down the stairs. "I am capable of walking down a flight of stairs," she said.

"I know, but I'm looking after two people here," he said. "I'm just making sure you're both okay."

"Mm," she muttered as she felt a contraction.

"Are you alright?"

"If you ask me "am I alright?" every time I have a contraction, the next few hours are going to be hell," Ruth said correctly. "By definition labour hurts, and I will be reminded of the fact that you were the one who got me pregnant, so I might start screaming at you. Asking if I'm okay won't change that."

"Okay," he said quickly, picking up his car keys. "Lets go."

* * *

Several hours later it was clear that this baby was not going to be born quickly. Ruth had been checked by several doctors and she was getting used to being poked and prodded and feeling as un-elegant as she ever had in her life before. Her contractions were getting stronger and more painful and Harry was being useless. Every time she felt one and moaned or cried out through the pain, he winced at her, hating to see her in any state of hurt at all. At around lunch time she'd had enough.

"Get out!" she shouted at him.

"What?" he asked confused.

"Get out now," she repeated breathlessly. "You're frowning at me every time I feel a contraction and it is not making this any easier. So please, pull yourself together!"

"Okay," he said quietly. "I hate seeing you in pain, that's all."

"Well I don't like it either," she snapped. "Get out and get a coffee. Do something useful and only come back here when you won't frown at me all the God damned time! Oh for God's sake," she added as she felt another contraction.

"I'll be back in five minutes," he said, thinking honestly that she might have a point.

"Fabulous, I can't wait," she said sarcastically. He kissed the top of her head and held her hand tightly for a moment as she groaned again. He left the room and walked away, unaware of where exactly he was going. He stopped and leaned against the wall and let go of his self control for a few moments. He cried silently, allowing himself a bit of time to pull himself back together. The knowledge that her labour was only going to get worse wasn't exactly helping him. She was only four centimetres dilated, and she had to get to ten before she'd be able to start pushing their daughter out into the world. It would be at least a few more hours yet. "Just focus on what it'll feel like when you're holding your newborn daughter," he said to himself. That had to be the thought to get him through the rest of the day.

"Dad?" Harry turned and saw Catherine, much to his surprise. She saw his tears and her face clouded with worry. "Oh God, is everything okay?" she asked quickly. "With Ruth and the baby?"

"Yeah," Harry said quickly. "I just can't cope with Ruth in pain. But everything's okay. It'll be a while yet, you didn't have to come down here."

"I wanted to meet my baby sister," Catherine said smiling. "Ruth's tough, she'll be okay."

"Oh I have total confidence that she'll be okay," Harry said. "I was always rubbish at this part. Your mother told me that after how awful I was when she was having you, that I was not going to be present when Graham was born."

"Really?" Catherine asked smiling.

"Yeah," Harry said. "It is awful seeing someone you love in pain. Just awful, especially when you know there is no way that you can make it better."

"Where is Ruth?" Catherine asked.

"Room twenty three B," Harry said. "She sent me out. Told me to stop frowning at her every time she had a contraction."

Catherine laughed. "Come on dad, you must have been through worse."

"Mm," Harry agreed. "When she was taken by someone and put on a drip that would have given her an overdose in four hours. That was worse because I didn't have any confidence I'd find her. I thought she'd died. I think that was the most scared I've been in years. This is better than that."

"Good," Catherine said, not asking for the details. "Look, I'm going to kill some time by going to the gift shop and having some dire hospital food. I'll be around if you need me."

"Thanks Cate," Harry said. He gave his eldest child a hug and let her go after a moment.

"Go back to Ruth," she said. "She might be cursing you to high heaven, but she would want you to be with her."

"I know." Harry took a moment more before he quickly walked back to his wife, determined not to let his feelings of terror and worry overcome him.

* * *

Three hours later Ruth was still in labour, but getting closer to the end now. Gripping Harry's hand tightly all the time, her contractions had become much more powerful and closer together. Harry had kept his word and not shown his emotions too much, although when she started screaming it became that much more difficult to do.

The doctor examined Ruth again and spoke firmly. "Its time for you to start pushing," she said, smiling at her. "Your baby's going to be here very soon."

"About bloody time," Ruth cursed, shifting up the bed.

"Right, when you feel the next contraction, I want you to push as hard as you can, okay?"

"Yeah," Ruth breathed heavily. She did as she was told, groaning with the pain but determined to carry on. Harry squeezed her hand and kept his mouth firmly shut, guessing correctly that whatever he said would be the wrong thing.

"Okay, I need you to push harder than that," the doctor said. "in about ten seconds, push again."

"Oh for fucks sake," she breathed. Her face was covered in sweat and she didn't know how much longer she'd be able to keep this up for.

"That's good!" the doctor told her. "Keep going!" She did what she was told, feeling nothing but excruciating pain running through her body.

"I am never doing this again," Ruth said firmly, shaking her head.

"Okay, the babies crowning now," the doctor told them. "I need you to push again."

"I can't," Ruth moaned quietly. "I can't do this any more."

"Ruth you need to push," the doctor repeated.

"I can't! I'm too exhausted, I've got nothing left."

"Ruth you can," Harry said quietly. She glared at him but he carried on. "Think about how its going to feel when you're holding our brand new daughter. How long have we been waiting for her? She needs you. In five minutes this'll all be over and you'll be holding your daughter.

"I'm never sleeping with you ever again," Ruth said fervently.

"We'll discuss that later," Harry said softly and he saw a tiny glint of amusement in her eyes. "Now you have to push."

"Give me your hand," Ruth said. "I'm sorry, but I need something." Harry did and Ruth suddenly cried out with the force of her contraction. She squeezed his hand with all her might as she pushed as hard as she could.

Suddenly a sharp crack came that Ruth wasn't expecting. Harry wrenched his hand away from hers. "Ah, Jesus Christ!" he shouted. Everyone turned to him, Ruth with a glare. "You've broken my finger."

"Oh I feel so bad for you," Ruth said sarcastically. "I'm shoving a seven pound baby into the world out of my vagina but you've hurt your finger. So maybe we should focus on that for a while instead!" she snarled.

There was a dead silence in the room broken by Ruth's scream as she felt another contraction and the overwhelming urge to push. Harry gave her his other hand as she kept pushing.

"You're nearly there Ruth, one more push and its all going to be over."

"You said that an hour ago!" Ruth shouted. "Oh God!"

"That's it, Ruth, you're doing brilliantly," the doctor said. Ruth sighed and collapsed on the bed as the doctor announced, "She's here."

A second later thin and wailing cries filled the room. "Well done," Harry said, kissing the top of Ruth's head. "We've got our little girl."

"Where is she?" Ruth asked desperately.

"There just checking her over," Harry said happily. "You'll have her in a minute." His grin was wide and Ruth smiled at him. The next moment Doctor Callahan came back, their daughter in her arms and she handed the newborn to the exhausted mother. Ruth held her gently, almost scared that she was going to drop her or break her. Her cries had become quieter and then she stopped altogether. Harry stroked the dark hair on the top of her head softly.

"She's just like you," Harry said. "So beautiful."

Ruth smiled at him. "How's your hand?"

"In all seriousness, you have actually broken my finger," he said. Holding his right hand to her she could clearly see that it was at a strange angle and she felt terrible.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to."

"I'll live," he said quietly. "After what you've been through today, don't worry about me." They both turned back to their child who was simply lying in Ruth's arms, her eyes closed, already behaving herself like an angel.

"Do we have a name for her?" the doctor asked.

"Sarah," Ruth said quietly. "I like Sarah for her. If its okay with you?"

"Yes," Harry said. "I think Sarah suits her very well indeed." They had come up with a shortlist of about ten names that they'd agreed on, but Harry didn't really have a preference out of them. So if Ruth wanted Sarah, Sarah it would be.

"You want to hold her?" Ruth asked quietly. Harry grinned like an idiot so Ruth handed the precious bundle over very carefully. He held her gently, supporting her head as he rocked her quietly. Ruth smiled at this image of her husband holding their daughter. It was an image only slightly marred by the fact his right index finger was sticking out. Harry however, barely noticed. He was concentrating on the sweet angelic face in front of him. She was so small and beautiful and he loved her instantly with all his heart. He'd do anything to keep this little girl safe. As he thought that, her eyes popped open and he was looking into brilliant blue eyes that were a carbon copy of her mothers.

"Ruth, she looks just like you," Harry said quietly. He looked up at his wife and saw that she'd fallen asleep. He didn't blame her after what she'd been through today, and selfishly thought he'd be able to hold her for a bit longer.

"Mr Pearce, you need to put her down," a doctor he didn't recognise said.

"Why?"

"We need to have your finger x rayed and then set properly. We can't do that if you're holding her."

"Five more minutes," Harry bargained. The doctor inclined her head and Harry grinned at his daughter. "Hello sweetheart," Harry cooed over her. "I'll have to go in a bit, but I'll be right back for you, do you hear me?" Sarah did nothing except blink. "You're going to have me wrapped tight around your little finger. Do you know that?" He kissed her hair softly before he reluctantly put her down in the cot at the bottom of Ruth's bed.

"Keep a close eye on her," he demanded of the nurse, still in the room. Harry had used his best grid voice and the nurse looked more than a little scared.

"I'll watch her and make sure she's okay," the nurse said. Harry nodded his thanks as he followed the doctor to have his finger treated.

* * *

**There will be more soon. Hope no one minded me skipping forward in time.**


	42. Happy Family

Ruth woke up alone. She stared around the room for a moment before remembering what had happened earlier in the day. She looked down at the bottom of the bed and realised that she wasn't quite alone. Her beautiful daughter was wriggling slightly, seeming to be gearing up for a cry. Ruth picked her up carefully, smiling at her as she saw Sarah's blue eyes for the first time. They'd been closed earlier. Ruth held her close to her chest as she lay back down in bed. Sarah tried to bury her face in Ruth's chest and she correctly guessed what her daughter wanted. She loosened her God awful hospital gown and Sarah instinctively latched on to Ruth's breast. She felt glad that her child knew what she was doing, because she had no idea herself.

Sarah started to pull demandingly at Ruth and she smiled at her daughter. It felt very strange to have this little creature attached to her. Sarah would depend on her for everything in her life and for a moment Ruth felt absolutely terrified. She was still scared when the door opened and Harry came in smiling at them both. In that smile she felt her fear vanish. They had each other when things got tough as they surely would do.

"Hi," he said softly. "God, you look so natural with her."

"She's gorgeous," Ruth said honestly. Looking away from her daughter she saw Harry's hand and felt a twinge of guilt. His index finger was splinted to his middle one and Ruth bit her lip. "I'm so sorry about your hand."

"It'll heal," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Catherine's here. I wondered if she could come in?"

"Of course," Ruth said. "Can you give me a minute to cover up?"

"Sure." He crossed the room and kissed Ruth passionately. "You were wonderful."

"I was a screaming witch," Ruth said quietly. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being such a gentleman even when I crushed your hand. For giving us our daughter. For being you." She kissed him again.

"I'll get Catherine."

* * *

In the waiting room Catherine was flicking through a mindless magazine, waiting for some news. She was very glad she was here but the waiting was boring. Picking up a different magazine, her eyes caught as her father came in, a big goofy grin on his face. "So everything's alright then?" Catherine said.

"Baby girl, and Ruth's great," Harry said. "You want to see her?"

"Of course I do," Catherine said getting up. "What happened to your hand?"

"Ruth fractured my finger," Harry said looking at the splint. "Not on purpose. She squeezed rather hard when she was in labour and it cracked… It doesn't matter. Come on." Catherine followed her father in silence and soon he was opening the door to Ruth's room. Catherine immediately saw the bundle in Ruth's arms and she smiled at her stepmother. "Aw, she's so gorgeous," Catherine said as the baby's big blue eyes focused on the newcomer.

"Do you want to hold her?" Ruth asked softly.

"Can I?" Catherine asked eagerly. Ruth nodded and carefully handed the precious bundle over. "Has she got a name yet?"

"Sarah," Harry said. "Although we haven't discussed middle names yet have we Ruth?"

"There's time for that later," Ruth said as she collapsed against the pillows. Ruth's eyes went to the strapping on Harry's hand and she felt terrible. "Oh God, I'm so sorry," she said. "I never meant to hurt you."

"Its fine," Harry said, kissing the top of her head. "Its only a small fracture. It'll heal."

"Was labour really that bad?" Catherine asked, her eyes still on her half sister.

"Yes," Ruth said fervently. "It started last night, just went on and on. And then I looked at Harry, and wanted to kill him because its all his fault."

"I love being blamed for this," Harry said. He stroked Sarah's hair lightly. "If you want to make this my fault, I can live with that."

"Ruth, she is beautiful," Catherine said. "Did you call Graham to let him know?"

"Yes," Harry said. "He said he'd try to get down this weekend. He couldn't come today because of work."

"Did you call my mother?" Ruth asked as the thought occurred to her.

"Left a message," Harry said. Ruth had wanted Elizabeth to know when she went into labour, and Harry had added her to the short list of people he needed to tell.

"Good," Ruth said. She watched Sarah protectively for a moment before her eyes started to drift shut.

"Sleep," Harry whispered in her ear. "I think you've earned it."

"Mm," she replied quietly. Catherine smiled and then handed the precious bundle back to her father.

"I need to go I'm afraid," Catherine said. "I have to pack. I'm going away tomorrow."

"Go," Harry said. "I'm pleased you've met her."

"Good luck with all the sleepless nights," Catherine said.

"Something to look forward to," Harry said. "Where are you going?"

"America," Catherine said smiling. "New York actually." Harry stared at her. This was not her normal type of destination. "Bye dad."

"Wait a minute," Harry said. "Why the US? Not some middle Eastern country"

"Because Nathan wanted to treat me," she said. "Bye." She kissed Harry's cheek lightly and before he could say anything else she vanished from the room.

"My daughter is not going across the Atlantic with a man she doesn't know," Harry grumbled.

"She can't hear you," Ruth said with a sigh. "You should have told her that when she was here."

"Well you're not going to go traipsing across the world with some stranger are you sweetheart?" he said to his youngest child, rocking her gently.

"She's only a few hours old," Ruth said. "You've got more than ten years to worry before she brings home her first boyfriend."

"God help him," Harry said fervently. "And you're meant to be sleeping."

"Okay," she said. "Love you."

"Love you too," Harry said, stroking his wife's hair briefly, before all his attention went back to his daughters. In his mind he was concentrating on Catherine and everything that could go wrong with this Nathan. But in this room, he couldn't help but smile at the newborn in his arms.

* * *

Harry came awake with a jerk as the door of the hospital room opened. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes he saw his mother in law. "Hi," she said quietly.

"Hi," Harry said getting up.

"Where's my granddaughter?" she said eagerly. Harry pointed to the cot at the bottom of Ruth's bed. Elizabeth's face lit up in a smile. "Oh, she's gorgeous Harry."

"I know," Harry said, smiling eagerly.

"Can I pick her up?" Elizabeth asked quietly. Harry nodded, knowing from his first two children that Sarah was probably due a feed so would start crying soon anyway.

Elizabeth bent over the cot and picked her grandchild up carefully. "Hi sweetheart," she cooed over her. "Welcome to the world. What's her name?"

"Sarah," Harry said. "Ruth's choice." He didn't mind that his wife had named their daughter in the least, but he didn't want to be criticised for the name choice, especially as Ruth was asleep.

"That's odd for Ruth," Elizabeth said calmly. "I expected something I couldn't pronounce."

"I put my foot down," Harry said. "Anything I couldn't spell without a dictionary I said no to."

"Probably wise," Elizabeth said. "You know, she looks an awful lot like Ruth when she was born. The eyes, and her little button nose."

"I'm not going to argue with you," Harry said. "She is every inch as beautiful as her mother."

Elizabeth smiled at Harry, and in that moment she knew that this man loved her daughter and her granddaughter more than words could say. Returning her gaze to Sarah she frowned as the baby started quietly fussing. "Oh hey, none of that now," Elizabeth said. "Your mum's sleeping. I think you've tired her out."

"Yes," Harry agreed. "You have." Sarah wasn't having any of it though, and after a moment started crying. Ruth awoke with a jolt to the sound of her daughters discomfort.

"Oh hi mum," she said, seeing Elizabeth holding Sarah.

"I think she wants her mum," Elizabeth replied, smiling broadly as she handed the baby over.

"No, I think she wants feeding," Ruth said accurately. She adjusted her gown, even with a screaming child in her arms and the noise ceased instantly when Sarah could get what she wanted. "Mum, you didn't have to come all this way."

"Its my first grandchild!" Elizabeth said indignantly. "Of course I had to come."

"I didn't say it wasn't nice to see you," Ruth said quietly. "Just making an observation."

"So its Sarah is it?" Elizabeth said.

"I know its not what you would have expected," Ruth said quickly.

"It's a beautiful name," Elizabeth said. "You just surprised me that's all. Even when you were a girl you named your dolls Cleopatra and the like."

"Oh, I'd forgotten about that," Ruth said as Harry smiled. "I loved that stupid doll."

The door opened and everyone looked up to see Doctor Callahan walk in with a clipboard in front of her. "Hi," she said. "I need you to sign these discharge papers and then you can go home."

"Just like that?" Ruth asked. "I had the baby… yesterday? Sorry, I've lost track of time."

"There were no complications, I've checked both you and Sarah over, and you're both fine. There's no reason to keep you in hospital. Go and live your lives."

"I'll sign in a bit, when she's finished," Ruth said. Harry kissed the top of her head and Ruth smiled at him. For the moment Elizabeth could sense that she was intruding on the happy family, so she silently left the room as her daughter and son in law got lost in each others eyes.

"You know, she hasn't got a middle name yet," Harry said.

Ruth smiled at Sarah's face for a minute before turning back to her husband. "You pick."

"Are you sure?"

"Its only fair." Ruth covered herself up as Sarah had finished her feed and then passed their girl to Harry. "I'll let you know if I hate it."

"I'm sure you will," he said cradling his daughter. For a few minutes he thought in the silence before speaking. "Rose. Sarah Rose Pearce."

Ruth looked at Sarah's dark hair and smiled. "Yes. Sarah Rose sounds… pretty much perfect."

"Sarah Rose it is then," Harry said proudly. "Oh shit."

"Harry! Don't swear in front of her!"

"Car seat," he said in explanation. "It's at home."

"Go," Ruth said easily. "Come back with it and take us both home."

"That means I'll have to stop admiring her for an hour or two," Harry said with a pout. Ruth laughed and kissed her husband.

"Hurry up. I want to get home with her."

"I'll be right back sweetheart," Harry said, stroking Sarah's head.

"She won't even know you're gone," Ruth said.

"Hmph!" His smile was wide though. He kissed Ruth yet again before he left. When he closed the door Ruth rocked her child, wondering where this rush of love had come from.

"Just you and mummy," Ruth cooed. Sarah blinked twice before curling her tiny fist around Ruth's index finger. Ruth smiled and blinked away tears of happiness, looking at her daughter. How she had ever managed to live without this little mite, she didn't know. Now she felt complete. Happy marriage, happy family. She really did have everything she had ever wanted.

* * *

**I think this might be the end. It seems to have come to a natural conclusion now. Please leave a final review. Thank you.**


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